My Wealthy Friend Refuses to Let Me Borrow $5 and I Think I’ll End the Friendship

People
month ago

Picture this: you turn to a friend, not for a grand favor, but for a mere five-dollar loan, and to your surprise, they refuse. Now, one might brush it off as a minor inconvenience, but for some, like the woman in today’s story, it can spark a cascade of questions about the nature of friendship and the values underlying it.

She shared her side of the story.

My best friend and I have been friends for nearly 7 years. When we first met, she was struggling financially and lived paycheck to paycheck. At one point, her car broke down, and she had no transportation to work, so I would let her borrow my car and never asked her for gas money or anything in return. At the time, I was financially secure and was happy to help her out.

As the years went by, my financial situation changed and just like her, I began living paycheck to paycheck. By this time, she had started dating a guy she met online, who revealed to her a few months into dating that he was a millionaire. They married shortly after, and suffice to say she has not had to struggle since.

There have been a few times I have asked to borrow money, which I have always paid back. It’s usually not much, less than $25 or so each time, and she would always oblige with no problems until recently.

The last couple of times I asked to borrow money, she said she didn’t have it, which I found odd. But then I asked to borrow $5, and she said the same thing, and I thought it was odd that she told me she didn’t have $5 to spare. I know that ever since she got married, her brothers and a couple of other friends have tried taking advantage of her new-found wealth by asking to borrow money they never paid back and having her bail them out of situations they put themselves in that have cost her a lot of money.

I started to think that maybe I had forgotten to pay her back the money I owed her at some point, so I reached out to her to ask if that was the case. When she told me that wasn’t the case (as in, I had always paid her back), I told her I felt hurt because it felt as if I needed her help with something (I used the example if I ended up in jail) that I couldn’t reach out to her for help because she couldn’t even let me borrow $5.

She replied and said that, just like her brothers, I needed to learn how to budget my money better and that she couldn’t be the one to bail everyone out. She said when she was struggling, she had to work multiple jobs and did what she had to do.

I replied and said that it was not fair for her to lump me in with her brothers as I have never done anything to take advantage of her and I have never said something like that to her when I let her borrow my car and anytime she would ask me to borrow money when she was struggling. I told her I loved her but that I was ending the conversation, and she replied that this is why money and friends should never mixed.

Since then, she has reached out and said, “I didn’t deserve that conversation last night, I hope you know that” to which I have not replied and have no plans to. I am deeply hurt that she feels I was in the wrong, but I do not think I was in the wrong here. I understand that I am not entitled to anyone’s money, borrowed or not, but when she was in my shoes, I did everything I could to help her out. I could understand if I had asked to borrow a large amount of money, but I literally asked for $5.

People got mixed reactions.

  • “I’d leave her be. She’s posh now, and is not of your world anymore. People need you when they don’t have it, but when YOU don’t have it... all of a sudden YOU’RE unreasonable and are questioned etc.” Scitizenkane / Reddit
  • “It’s like sure you helped her out, but it sounds like the friend has been helping you out with little bits here and there for an undisclosed amount of time. That adds up, and I’d probably be tired of it, too.” Jazzi-Nightmare / Reddit
  • “This isn’t over $5 though. This is over you frequently asking her friend for money. It doesn’t matter if you always pay her back. It’s that no one wants to be used for money. And the friend already has a bad taste in her mouth due to her brothers, so everyone paying the consequences of the money well running dry to any and everyone.” Nina_Rae_____ / Reddit
  • “Friendships are founded on equality. You supported her when she was down, and you feel that she is not supporting you when you are down — ESPECIALLY when it is a question about small sums. In addition to that — she starts lecturing you for being lazy and stupid.” Ambitious-Cover-1130 / Reddit
  • “The friendship is over. And may not have been that deep. Just keep in mind going forward that everyone is not going to do for you what you would do for them.” Greenjello14 / Reddit
  • “You helped her when she needed help, and it sounds as though she’s helped you out up until very recently when you’ve needed it. At what point is her ’debt’ to you paid?” Ok_Equipment_8032 / Reddit

In human relationships, seemingly trivial incidents can often get big consequences. While ending a friendship is never an easy decision, it’s essential to prioritize mutual respect and understanding.

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