12 Harsh Truths Almost All of Us Tend to Neglect
Childhood, a time when we’re taken care of as fragile and vulnerable people is quite different than adulthood. As adults, we begin to follow a new set of rules and understand over time that we’re interesting to ourselves only. There’s no one to push us toward success, give us their shoulder to cry on, or praise us when we’ve done something good. And ultimately, there are always going to be people who are smarter, better, and more attractive than us.
Bright Side took a risk and collected simple truths we’ve all come to understand at some point or another in our lives.
1. There’s no point in sacrificing yourself for others.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Everything I do, I do it for you”? As a rule, it’s followed by a cold answer, “But did I even ask you to do that?”
Let’s be honest: the people around us don’t need our sacrifices. Most often, they feel awkward and become irritated by this obtrusiveness. The only exception to this situation is codependent behavior — when both people get satisfaction from such a relationship.
2. None of us will get a medal at work.
They say it was a horse who worked the most in the village, but it still never became the head of the village. Sooner or later you’ll face a similar unpleasant truth: your boss and colleagues will understand that you are ready to do any kind of work. And while you’re hurting your health by putting too much pressure on yourself, they’ll be calmly checking their newsfeed on social media or gossiping while sipping on another cup of coffee. But were you really expecting for your boss to praise you for hard work like your teacher would do back in kindergarten?
3. Body positivity is not about the absence of self-care.
Unshaved armpits, cracked nails, and a refusal to use hygiene products will likely make you look like an untidy person rather than a follower of body-positivity. The main idea of this body-positive movement is to treat other people respectfully and accept any appearance worthily.
At the same time, bold phrases like, “I love my rolls” usually hides laziness, shows a lack of motivation to hit the gym and proves they treat their health irresponsibly.
4. Appearance matters.
You can endlessly talk about your rich inner world and the beauty of your soul but the phrase, “people judge a book by its cover” still holds true. It’s not only one’s professional skills that they assess at interviews but also the appearance of the candidate, as well as their ability to communicate with other people. Additionally, a confident and tidy-looking person has more of a chance to go on a successful date than an untidy one.
5. Being a good person is not a profession.
No one has to treat you well at work for having beautiful eyes, 3 kids, a mortgage, 4 loans, and a sick mom. Bosses will always be primarily interested in the quality of your work. If you’re not bringing any profit to the company you work at, prepare to be replaced by a more energetic and hard-working person at any moment.
6. Your mom isn’t always right.
Over time, we stop perceiving the words and behaviors of our parents as an eternal and indubitable truth. Our childhood ideology gets replaced by the understanding that a mother and father are ordinary people who have their disadvantages, bad habits, and thoughts that aren’t always wise and true. That being said, they could make a bunch of mistakes in how they react to your behavior as well. This may sound sad, but sooner or later your own kids will become disappointed in you as well.
7. You’ll have to study up to the retirement age or even longer.
Modern technology is developing with such speed that your profession might not even exist 10 to15 years from now. That means you should always be ready to learn something new and to increase your qualifications to become a specialist in your line of work.
8. If you don’t attend any events, people will stop inviting you after some time.
The trick of getting offended, pouting, and waiting for others to call you to play with them again works only in kindergarten. No one is interested in playing such games in adulthood. Sooner or later you’ll face the situation where your friends will think you don’t feel interested in communicating with them anymore and they’ll forget all about you.
9. Training for improving self-confidence doesn’t work.
It’s useless to create “vision boards” full of bright houses, palm beaches, and expensive cars. All these tricks don’t work until you actively work toward achieving your goals. Moreover, such practices are dangerous because they often teach you how to manipulate other people.
After taking courses on how to pick up women, men will start to collect their “love victories” but will still feel lonely. And women taking their own special relationship courses will be convinced that wearing a long skirt and giving a massage will make their spouse get up from the couch and start earning millions.
10. We’re sorry but you’re not the center of the universe.
Have you ever gotten your nails done but felt sad after your colleagues didn’t give you enough compliments on them? Have you ever spent half of your salary on a new suit and no one even noticed it? Don’t feel upset but instead, try to remember the last time you felt sincerely happy after seeing that your friend got a new outfit. The good news is that no one will notice the hole in your sock or torn tights.
11. What you are now is your personal choice.
It’s all this simple: the only person responsible for your actions is you. If you don’t know Spanish, it’s you who didn’t learn it. If your boss keeps shouting at you, it means you let them do it. No one is guilty of the fact that you didn’t move to another city or that you couldn’t graduate from college and got married because “it’s just what people did”.
12. There’s always someone smarter, younger, and better than you.
Perhaps the biggest hit on one’s self-esteem is the understanding that there are people much better than you in this world. We can keep flirting and celebrating our 18th birthday over and over again, but remember that we become older each year and that our wrinkles become deeper. Men will start to hide an appearing bald spot and pull up their tummy, while women will learn how to tie a kerchief around their neck in order to conceal their imperfect, not-so-young skin.
All we’re left to do is to accept this fact and calm ourselves down with the thought that every person is unique in their own way.
Do you think these truths are correct? We’d be glad to hear your opinions on this in the comments!
Illustrated by Anastasiya Pavlova for BrightSide.me