12 Signs a Person Won’t Let Anyone Take Advantage of Them
Most of us associate the word “selfish” with an unpleasant person who only thinks about themselves. But psychologists claim that being selfish is actually useful in some situations. For example, when you need to put people back in their initial place, when they are about to try to get you to overextend yourself.
We at Bright Side figured out the situations where we need to show more love to ourselves and show our teeth to those surrounding us. Here are the features of a healthy egoist’s behavior who can protect their personal borders.
They take themselves as they are, but take into account their imperfections.
We all know about the nuances of our appearance, as well as our character features — we all have them. But sometimes people lack good manners and feel the need to remind us of them for whatever reason. In this case, a sharp but intelligent answer will help to put the rude person back in their place.
They don’t try to make other people like them.
The desire to convert everyone around you to be like you is not the best way to go, to say it mildly. It’s even more upsetting when people try to teach their little kids to do this. Today it’s contentment and politeness, not praise and flattery, that are trendy. If we’re calling selfishness the wish to not make someone like you for the sake of your own self-interest, then this is the healthiest of its manifestations.
They explain their point of view calmly and clearly.
It’s normal to ask for what you’re supposed to have and not feel shy about it. Cinderella’s fairy godmother’s words about the harm of not going to the ball when you deserve it, would be extremely relatable in this situation. There is a bit of Cinderella in each of us, but instead of the magic wand, we have the right to certain things that we should all remember.
They don’t feel shy about their opinion.
Sometimes we do things, against our own wishes, just because other people try to impose weird duties on us. In this case, it’s better to take a pause and think about whether you truly want to spend your personal time doing public work. If your answer is no, turn down the offer without a twinge of regret.
They can say “No” if someone’s request goes against their interests.
We often sacrifice our own personal interests for the sake of others, because we’re scared to spoil the relationship, right? And sometimes after seeing this, other people start to use our reliability for their own interests. At the same time, the word “No” is not bad. It’s strong and honest. There is nothing shameful in saying, “No” to people who act selfishly. If your friend knows that you work a lot and come back home late, but keeps trying to ask you to babysit her child, it’s high time you thought about your relationship.
They don’t suffer from feelings of guilt.
Many women have already started to live by the principle: “If I don’t take care of myself, no one will,” and they don’t feel any guilt because of it. It’s wonderful that sharing household duties between family members is no longer considered to be something shameful.
They don’t make promises to anyone.
One of the ways to manipulate a person psychologically is to force them to make you a promise. But self-confident people don’t make promises and don’t do anything against their will. First of all, they think about how great the chances are that they will be able to fulfill their promises and not about how sweet they look in the asker’s eyes.
They are not dependent on manipulators’ tricks.
Workers in the service sphere are very fond of regular customers and give them special discounts. But sometimes, even serious companies break protocol in pursuit of making us turn to them again and again. A short and categorical “No” works perfectly with this kind of rudeness. It’s that simple.
They don’t get distracted by secondary tasks.
A healthy egoist knows what they need and they move in that direction — even if they have some more interesting things to do. First, they finish important tasks and then shift to fun activities. Can it be that the phrase “successful people walk all over others” is there only because others envy their self-control?
They don’t pay attention to critics.
Sometimes people try to get something by affronting others. For example, when they want to get a comfortable seat on public transportation, they start to use their age or position. But these techniques don’t work with “healthy” egoists, because they don’t rush to justify themselves before assessing the situation.
They put bold people back in their place.
The ability to stand up for yourself on time is precious. There is nothing shameful in not letting bold people encroach on your territory. Because if you succumb to your staircase neighbor’s charming smile and sweet words once, soon her belongings might be lying next to your front door permanently.
They don’t forget about their inner child.
People who like and accept themselves inside and out are also healthy egoists. It’s ok to feel sad when you want to and it’s also ok to feel joy when you feel like it. Our age shouldn’t stop us from this. Others try to impose norms and frames of decency on us so often that we might get the feeling that we are living according to someone else’s life manual.
Have you ever encountered situations where you’ve needed to show a healthy dose of egoism? Please tell us about them in the comments.