I Want to Buy a House, but I Don’t Want My Husband to Co-Own It
Sometimes material and financial issues become a sticking point in family relationships. The most vulnerable group, in this sense, is women. According to one study, a third of women are financially dependent on their husbands, which makes them unable to cope financially when they get divorced. So it seems that having your own safety net is crucial for surviving if anything in your relationship goes wrong.
Our reader has shared her story with Bright Side: Although she is happily married, she doesn’t want to share ownership of her house with her husband. You can read her situation below.
Our Bright Side team was eager to provide some tips on how the woman can solve this problem. And here’s what we came up with.
- First of all, we want to make clear that it is totally your right to buy the house and have it on your own. Even though we don’t expect our marriages to end one day, we always should care about what each of us will have if it ends in terms of finances and property. So no matter how much we love our partner, we always should have a plan B in order to not end up on the street.
- Remind your husband of the fact that before getting married you signed a prenup, while your husband got a lot through his parents. At that time, you totally understood this decision and supported it, and now you’re asking for the same support from him. And as per your initial agreement, you may have your own separate properties.
- Talk to him and explain that you have personal goals you want to achieve yourself. Make sure he understands your aspirations and the importance of your dreams for you. You have achieved a lot since your graduation and did it all by yourself. So this house of your dreams will serve as a trophy for all your hard work and the path you have been on.
- Be open with him regarding his perspective and talk to him politely about his financial situation without humiliating him. You just need to make him realize that he has his parents’ house as his safety net, but you don’t have your own safety net if one day you choose to split or something happens. Remind him about his credit card debt and the fact that his parents sometimes have to help him pay for things. Just suggest that maybe it is not the right time to make such a commitment.
- Keep in mind that him saying he won’t move in with you if you don’t allow him to be co-owner is manipulation. Sometimes those closest to us try to manipulate our feelings to make us feel guilty and eventually make us do what they want. Tell him that there is no place for manipulation in the relationship, and your material issues are not a subject of trust. Additionally, remind him that he didn’t want to buy a house in the beginning, so you have decided to do it yourself. So it was his decision that led you to buy your own house.
- In case you agree to your husband’s co-ownership of the house, try to get professional advice from a legal representative. There might be some ways to ensure that he will make the half payment for it, like by signing an agreement that will allow you to own this house on your own if he doesn’t pay this half.
What advice would you give to this user? Do you think that husbands and wives should share all the properties they buy while they’re married?