10 Things No Mother Should Ever Apologize For

2 years ago

New moms often have to face the challenge of breastfeeding their kid in public while hoping no one will make any comments about it. Unfortunately, many people find it outrageous, and as a mom, you might feel the need to apologize for it. But this isn’t something you should apologize for, because it’s something natural and harmless, and it’s only done for the good of your baby.

We at Bright Side think that you shouldn’t feel ashamed of things that come with motherhood. So here’s a list of things you don’t have to apologize for.

1. How and when you feed your baby.

No one has a right to tell you how you should feed your baby. So you don’t owe an apology to anyone who thinks they know what your baby needs better than you. Whether you choose to breastfeed or use formula instead — this choice is only for you to make. And as for where you feed your baby, you shouldn’t feel guilty breastfeeding in public places. After all, your baby needs to eat, and it’s not your problem if people feel uncomfortable seeing you breastfeed.

2. That you don’t have a lot of money.

You don’t have to be rich to be able to raise a kid well. But when money is tight, you might feel like your kid isn’t getting enough from you. However, all your kid needs is your love and care. And if you’ve got enough money to feed and clothe them, don’t feel like you’re failing if you don’t give them more toys, vacations, or certain experiences.

3. That you need time for yourself.

Once you give birth, you might feel pressure to spend time with the baby 24/7. And if you ever need some alone time, you might feel bad about it — like you’re a bad mom. However, that’s just not true. We all need to take time for ourselves once in a while, and it’s understandable that you need some alone time to recharge.

4. That your house looks messy.

You don’t suddenly become a bad person or a bad mom if there are toys lying around on the floor, or if there are some dirty dishes in the kitchen. Taking care of your kid can be a full-time job, so don’t blame yourself if you don’t have the time or energy to clean everything up. And even if you do clean up, your kid will probably create another mess in a couple of minutes. So don’t feel the need to apologize for it. That’s just how kids are.

5. How you look.

You don’t owe it to anyone to look a certain way. Whether your hair is messy or you always wear the same old clothes — no one has a right to make comments about your appearance. And you don’t have to be in a hurry to “get your body back” and lose weight the second you give birth. Love your body and the fact that it was able to bring your child into this world.

6. That your boobs leak.

No matter how often you nurse or how many nursing pads you have in your bra, your boobs might still leak every once in a while. And it’s a natural process that you can’t control. So if someone else has a problem with it, don’t feel the need to apologize for it.

7. That you don’t always feel happy.

Taking care of your child around the clock can be physically and emotionally exhausting, and you might not always know what to do and feel helpless. Being a mom is an extremely hard job, so it’s okay to not always feel okay.

8. That you need help.

It might seem like when you’re a parent, you should know how to take care of your kids all by yourself. So you might feel like you’re failing at parenting if you ask someone for advice or for help babysitting your child. But there’s nothing wrong with it, and it doesn’t mean that you’re weak. You just want the best for your child, and that’s what matters.

9. How you give birth.

Only you can decide what’s best for you, and where and how you’ll feel the most comfortable giving birth. You’ll probably be surrounded by “experts” who might tell you that your decision is wrong and that they know the only right way to give birth. But it’s not up to them, and you don’t need to justify your choice.

10. That you can’t attend all social engagements.

When you become a parent, your schedule completely changes. But it stays the same for your friends, and they might still invite you to spend time with them every once in a while. And if you’re busy with your kid, or just want to relax alone at home, you don’t have to apologize every time you can’t accept an invitation. After all, your friends care about you, so they should understand.

Do any of these situations sound familiar? Have you ever felt guilty or like you needed to apologize for something?

Please note: This article was updated in November 2021 to correct source material and factual inaccuracies.


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