15+ People Who Gave Themselves Permission to Say “No,” and It Changed Everything

Sometimes it’s difficult to say no. We don’t want to offend another person, appear selfish, or spoil the relationship. But the desire to be “good” and convenient for everyone can often make us take on other people’s problems. Here are stories from people who learned to protect their personal boundaries, and thanks to this, their lives changed for the better.

• My friend used to “borrow” my stuff and never wanted to give it back. Once she returned my faux fur hat practically bald. Yesterday, she asked for a pie mold, so I decided to teach her a lesson. I wrapped the mold in a bag and slipped a piece of stinky old cheese inside. She totally flipped when her whole kitchen reeked. Even that didn’t really work, so now I just tell her I can’t lend her anything, without explanations.
• I went on a date with Nick. In our chats he impressed me with how well he wrote, and he was really good-looking too. He took me to a little restaurant. As soon as we walked in, the waitress asked him, “The usual?” He said yes, and she left us alone. The conversation was so fun and engaging, I didn’t even realize 4 hours had flown by. But when the check came, he suddenly told me I had a “unique opportunity” to buy windows from him. Windows! When I said no, he hit me with, “Well, in that case, we’re splitting the bill.” © Chamber #6 / VK
• At the checkout, a woman asked if she could cut in front of me, “I’ll be quick, I’ve just got a cake.” Normally I let people do this, but I was in a rush and something about her rubbed me the wrong way, so I said no. She stood there huffing. I finished bagging my groceries, they rang up her cake, and then she goes, “I’ll pay with coins.” And pulls out 2 bags of unsorted coins. Real quick, huh. © mariia__kubrak / Threads

• I have a friend who is obsessed with the idea of me leaving Europe. I recently ran into her, and I usually try not to talk much or tell her anything. She knows I’m about to move out of the dorm and that I don’t have a job. In this sweet-but-annoying voice, she asked, “So, when are you throwing your farewell party?” You should’ve seen her face when I told her I’m not going anywhere and that I’m actually looking for an apartment. Woke up today with a runny nose and now I’m wondering if she jinxed me. © alikomaliko / Threads
• During a job interview, they asked me what my husband does. When I said he’s a programmer, they went, “Oh, so he probably makes a lot of money, and you just want to work so you’re not sitting at home, not for money, right?” Then they called me a few times trying to convince me to take the job. My refusal really pissed off the director. He still couldn’t understand why I’d pass up an “amazing opportunity” to work 6 days a week in 3 roles for peanuts. © Stories / VK

• Today at a job interview, I honestly said I have no ambitions, I’m not chasing a career, I just want to show up, do my work, go home, and get paid. And guess what? They hired me. So I guess it is possible to break the system. © b***hazlovecake / threads
• On the plane, a woman sat next to me while her husband was seated a few rows behind. She asked me to switch seats, and I said no. Then she tried to make a scene, asking her husband to talk me into moving, but he didn’t care where he sat. That wasn’t enough for her. She even called all her relatives on speakerphone to tell them that men these days are too petty to switch seats. © Stories / VK
• I went on a date with a guy. His profile showed a handsome 36-year-old entrepreneur, 6 feet tall. In reality, a 40-year-old pawnshop clerk showed up. I warned him I was exhausted after a 12-hour workday. He said no problem. Fine, I thought. But then he dragged me around the park for 2 hours at 10 p.m., and when I suggested grabbing a coffee, this macho guy pointed at a shawarma stand: “Go get it. I’ll wait here.” I silently bought my coffee, came back, and he had the nerve to say, “What, you didn’t get me one?” The cherry on top was him saying, “Let’s go to my place. We’ll watch a movie.” Needless to say, I quietly went home. The next morning, I wake up to a text from this gem, saying, “You only care about money. Nothing will work between us.” Ah, what a shame... © Chamber 6 / VK

“The coolest rejection I’ve ever heard”

• About 3 years ago, I was renting a house where I lived with my wife and our 2 dogs. When we moved in, the place wasn’t in great shape, so we did some cosmetic fixes, painted a bit, and repaired a few things, and it started to look decent. On top of that, my wife spent a lot of time in the garden, planted tons of flowers, and turned the yard into a real beauty. When the landlord found out, he came by, saw it, and raised the rent quite a bit because the house now looked more upscale. We weren’t going to put up with that kind of audacity, so a few days later we moved out, and my wife dug up all our flowers before we left. © House #6 / VK
• A couple of days ago, my daughter was playing an online game while chatting with other players. Looks like there was a tense moment, and I hear some guy say to her, “You’re useless.” A moment of silence, and my daughter responds, “I don’t like how you’re talking to me. I didn’t give you permission to call me names.” She logs out and blocks the guy. She’s only 8. I think I should take some confidence and personal boundaries courses from her. Today I found out they’re already back in contact. Apparently, the boy reached out to my older son to apologize to her. And in the evening, I hear him say, “Diana’s great, and I only want to play with you.” © hanna_phaam_ / Threads

• I’m standing in line at the store, minding my own business, my kid is fiddling with a pack of cookies next to me. Out of nowhere, this lady — classic know-it-all mom vibe — starts lecturing me on how to raise my child, how to talk to him, what to allow and what to forbid. I politely say, “Thanks, but I don’t need advice.” She goes on, “I’m a mother of 3, trust me, I know what I’m talking about.” I tolerate it, breathe, count to 10 in my head. But when she jumped in with, “You shouldn’t give him sweets, it’s bad for him,” something snapped. I turned to her and said, “And why did you put on that coat with those boots? You should wear something warmer.” She was speechless. © Mamdarinka / VK
• I have a very beautiful friend, and guys are always coming up to her. Most of the time, they don’t take “no” seriously and keep trying to flirt. They hit on her in every situation — whether she’s not wearing makeup or just in a hoodie and jeans. She complained to me that she’s tired of it; she’s just not in the mood for guys right now, and it’s impossible to get rid of them. For her birthday, the girls and I got her a custom hoodie with a bold message on the front and back: “Not Interested.” Now way fewer guys approach her. Of course, some people say she’s too full of herself, but my friend couldn’t care less. © Caramel / VK
• I built a sauna. Small, but with a good stove and heater, tall shelves for any taste. In front of it, I made something like a pond. I mostly live alone, though sometimes my girlfriend comes over with her son. I heat it up for them, and in the yard there’s tea, barbecue. On Saturdays, the neighbors come by for the sauna. Well, one Saturday I hadn’t stocked firewood yet. They’re used to it. I was late at work, and my neighbor calls, “Hey, where’s the firewood? We need to heat the sauna, family’s visiting.” I tell him, the forest is nearby, go grab some deadwood. And he goes, “Listen, I’m gonna tear your house down right now.” That’s how I stopped providing free services. © GIBORYAN / Pikabu

• My friend used to have a husband who was insanely cheap. Whenever she asked him to buy her a ring or earrings, he flat-out refused, saying they didn’t have the money. She barely convinced him to buy new wallpaper for the living room. They hung it up, and my friend thought maybe he’d finally loosened up a bit, so she asked him for money for a new pair of boots. Again, he said no. That was the last straw, and she threw a fit: “Get out of my apartment! I don’t want to see you here in an hour!”
  He said, “No problem.”
  She went to the store, and an hour later, when she came back, she saw him and a few workers tearing the wallpaper off the walls.
  “Honey,” her husband said, “I’m just rolling up my wallpaper and then I’ll leave.” © Not everyone will understand / VK
• All the neighbors in my new building somehow found out I work at a hospital. One evening, an elderly neighbor came over and started complaining that the nurses are always late, injections are expensive, and on top of that, she has to pay extra. After a 15-minute monologue, she asked me, as a medical professional, to give her injections — of course, for free and whenever it was convenient for her. Slightly shocked at her audacity, I asked how that had anything to do with me. She hesitated and said something like, “But you work at the hospital.” I confirmed, adding that I’m a systems administrator there, and the only thing I can fix is a computer. Coincidence or not, the very next day, all the elderly neighbors stopped greeting me. © Ward No. 6 / VK

What stories have happened to you? Share them in the comments!

And here are stories about bosses who don’t respect personal boundaries at all.