20+ Real-Life Secrets of a Happy Marriage That People Shared Online

When people get married, they hope for many years of happiness, but not everyone manages to keep a warm relationship. Couples who continue to love and support each other years later have their own time-tested ways to keep the fire burning in the family hearth. And they are happy to share these simple but important secrets with us.

“50th Anniversary today! I love this woman!”

“My advice is to love each other as if you’ll never see them again. Have fun. You’re going to get bored and tired of the same routine, so you need to keep things lively. When you get mad or angry at each other, take a deep breath and think about what you’re going to say. Try not to be hurtful..

I tell my wife, ’I love you most’ every night when we go to bed. Communicate with each other. Express your feelings. Don’t let things fester inside. The little things can turn into big things in a hurry if you’re not allowed to get them out. Always try to support your spouse, but don’t be afraid to voice your opinion and your ideas.

You both bring value to the relationship. Our relationship has always been a ’mutual admiration society.’ We love each other, but we’re not afraid to share our feelings with each other.”

“My grandparents have been married for almost 60 years. My grandpa still courts my grandma.”

“He sent this picture to the family chat saying ’two beautiful matching flowers.’ I love them.”

“31 married, together 35. It’s possible to love that long and that well. Easy? No.”

“We have had our share of heartache and financial problems and came through. Unsolicited advice: Don’t keep score. Don’t cheat. Do apologize. Send flowers to work.”

The little secret to big happiness

• Years back, when kiddo was young and kinda being a pain in the butt, we were both just running out of gas. Times were tight, parenting was frustrating, there was some frustration with families, etc.
  One day, she didn’t replace the toilet paper all the way. Just propped the new roll on top of the old cardboard tube and moved on. This bugged me when I saw it, and I just stood there feeling really pretty damned irritated. I grumbled to myself as I fixed it, and started the descent into a good snit.
  Then I realized that this was a really stupid thing to be so mad about. I decided (no idea how the idea came to me, it just kinda... did) to think a few nice things about my wife. It totally improved my attitude, so I did it that night.
  For years now, it has been my practice to take a minute every morning upon waking, and every night before bed, to think a few nice/happy/grateful things about my wife. Turns out, when a heart is filled with gratitude, there’s not much room for foolish resentment, and genuine disagreements are easier to work through. We’ve been married over a decade now, and we’re still stupidly in love.
  They say not to take your spouse for granted, and that’s great advice. Deliberate and consistent gratitude is a great way to do that. © PrehensileUvula / Reddit

“This is the soup I just made. And this is the game my wife has been playing since this morning. Yes, it is possible!”

“The kids are 20+ years old and they’re not home today. And we do what we want to do, without thinking about the public opinion and all those prejudices. Love each other, enjoy life and be happy. And don’t listen to anyone.”

Love is caring in every little thing.

• I recently confessed to my wife that I wash my hair with soap. Simple soap. Since I was a kid, my parents taught me that a man shouldn’t spend money on himself. We’ve been married for 2 years, and for these 2 years, she thought I was just using her shampoos.
  But I didn’t. I was never allowed to use my mom’s shampoo, either. I earn good money, I spare no expense on my family, but I used to save on myself.
  That very evening, my wife brought me a huge black cosmetics bag. There were shampoos and balms for men, and a cool shaving machine — I always used disposable — and even all sorts of creams for face and hands, and gel for hairstyling. It’s just a gift, but I’ve never felt so loved and important. © Not everyone will understand / VK

“72 years of marriage. They take a nap like this every day.”

Even one phrase can make another person a little happier.

• My husband is not a romantic, he rarely says “I love you” and all that stuff, but I will remember one of his phrases for the rest of my life. Once, at the beginning of our relationship, we were going out, I got ready faster than him and started grumbling about why he was taking so long. And he with a completely serious face, lacing up his shoes, says, “I waited for you for 30 years, and you can’t wait for me for 5 minutes,” and kisses me. At that moment, I fell in love with him even more. © Chamber 6 / VK

“Married for 32 years today with this amazing woman. I’m so blessed!”

“And remember: treat your wife as a queen, and she will treat you like a king. ”

“What 55 years of marriage looks like. She sits by and laughs as he tells another story about farting.”

When the relationship is built on respect and care

• We met at work, became friends, discovered the same priorities and values, went on holiday together, moved in together, got married, got older. We’re already gray, wrinkly and fat. I noticed that we differ from other married couples by our respect for each other and immense tenderness.
  We don’t check each other’s pockets, bags, phones or laptops. Or, for example, my husband doesn’t drink coffee, and I can’t imagine a morning without a cup of coffee with milk. And my husband makes sure every night that there is milk in the fridge for me, coffee in the cupboard, and the coffee maker is working.
  And I know he needs 30 minutes after dinner to lie on the couch in silence and play. During these 30 minutes, I’m in my headphones, minding my own business and making sure nothing disturbs him.
  I wouldn’t say that we once had big love or passion — more like a quiet friendship, care, support and respect. © PinkUnicorn111 / Pikabu

“My grandparents still hold hands after almost 62 years of marriage.”

The main thing is not to be lazy.

• One time I was too lazy to meet my fiancée after work. Why should I? It’s a 5-minute walk from the bus stop, it’s raining and windy outside, so I thought she’d walk home herself. My grandfather was visiting, and upon hearing me tell my fiancée on the phone that I wasn’t coming down, he just said, “Don’t get married.” I started to get indignant and make excuses and he, ignoring everything I said, told me a story.
  When he and my grandmother had just got married, she had enrolled in an evening sewing school. And this school was in the neighboring village, 4 miles away. Classes ended at 9 p.m., and the last train left at 8.30 p.m., so my grandmother had to walk home. And every day after a 12-hour shift at the factory, my grandfather met her at the school to carry her bag and sewing supplies. And he never had a thought of missing a single evening.
  “Let your fiancée find someone who will be happy to carry her bag,” he told me. And from that day onwards, I’ve never allowed myself to be lazy about the woman I love. © Ward No. 6 / VK

“30 years ago we spent our first anniversary splitting fries and a shake. My husband surprised me by taking me back to the spot and the exact booth to do it again.”

“Happy 30th anniversary, honey, I love you!”

Mom’s unexpected advice on happiness in marriage

• Before I got married, I talked to my mom about how her and my dad had stayed so happy for so long. Without even hesitating, she said, “Don’t let the family dog outdo you.” I didn’t know what that meant, but she told me her rule for herself was when my dad came home, she would never let the dog show more affection than her.
  There would be time to talk about frustrations of the day or errands that needed to be run or household maintenance items, but the first few minutes of seeing your spouse in the evening were always about communicating that you love them, that you’re happy to see them, and that you are glad to be in their company. © swedishchef13 / Reddit

“The wife has a stressful day ahead, made a special breakfast wrap to go, packed lunch and coffee and woke her up with a gentle massage.”

“Our love aged like fine wine. My wife is my everything.”

“After 34 years of marriage, I witnessed my parents dancing on Christmas morning wearing matching outfits. I have never seen my father smile so big.”

“8 years later and I had no idea.”

• My husband travels frequently for business. When we first started dating, he discovered I liked a certain airline’s cookies. So, after every one of his trips, he would bring them home to me.
  Recently we went on vacation. He was sleeping while the flight attendant brought around snacks. I got cookies for me, and almonds for him. When he woke, I showed him his snack.
  He asked why I didn’t get him the cookies. “Because you don’t like them; you always give them to me.” “No, I love the cookies, but I love giving them to you more.” I had no idea. 8 years after our first date, my darling husband still manages to blow me away with his thoughtful and kind gestures. © moppet82 / Reddit

“My uncle proposed to my aunt again after 50 years of marriage.”

• I love it. After 50 years together, they would still do it all over again. That says so much about their kindness, friendship, care for each other, and willingness to forgive. Marriage isn’t easy, but they are worth it to each other! © Halogen12 / Reddit

“We’ve been married for 25 years and are still in love. My spouse hasn’t changed at all over the years!”

“We communicate very well and listen to each other, she is the best friend.”

“After 71 years of marriage, Grandma passed. Grandpa says, ’Well, I got to know her pretty well.’”

And here are some stories from people whose family life is far from being boring and dull.