Our reader, Nora, recently moved in with her boyfriend, with whom she had been together for two years. Their relationship had been smooth and without significant issues until a recent disagreement.
A few days ago, she experienced an unexpected early period and found herself without any sanitary pads. Due to her heavy flow, she couldn't leave the house to buy them herself, as she would have bled through her pants. As it was late in the evening, she turned to her boyfriend for help.
Nora asked if he could go to the drugstore to purchase pads for her. To her surprise, he immediately refused without any hesitation.
Shocked, she inquired about his reasoning, "I asked him why he wouldn't help me." He responded that he was uncomfortable with the idea of the cashier seeing him buy pads. She found this amusing and laughed, thinking he must be joking.
However, he was serious and reacted with irritation. She attempted to reassure him, pointing out that the cashier would surely understand that the pads were not for him and likely wouldn’t care about his purchase. Despite this, he remained firm in his refusal.
She suggested he use the self-checkout to avoid any potential embarrassment, but he rejected this idea too. His concern was that someone might see him with the pads and mistakenly think he was a transgender person.
This response led her to call him childish and accuse him of having fragile masculinity, highlighting that it was a simple act of support for his girlfriend. Angered by her words, he stormed out of the house.
Left with no other option, she had to improvise. She used toilet paper as a makeshift pad, dressed in black pants and a long cardigan, and went to the store herself to buy the pads. Since this incident, her boyfriend has been giving her the silent treatment. Reflecting on the situation, she began to wonder if she had been too harsh in her reaction.
Now, she is seeking perspective on whether she was in the wrong for criticizing her boyfriend's masculinity after he refused to buy pads for her because now he doesn't respond to her messages.
Nobody wants to be judged, but now Nora needs advice from our readers on whether partners should be comfortable with buying or seeing sanitary pads.
Regarding:
> advice whether partners should be comfortable with buying or seeing sanitary pads
The answer depends on the culture upbringing of either partner.
Generally speaking this kind of feeling usually lingers on the partner until they officially get married -- after that it usually does not matter anymore. However, if this "shyness" continues for the partner even after marriage, then it is possibly a concern.
