I Caught My MIL Breastfeeding My Child, but My Husband Doesn’t Want to Get Another Nanny

Having family support to take care of our babies while we work is a real blessing, and it’s even better when it’s free. But sometimes, unexpected things can happen that mess up those family ties and mess them up real bad.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about the incident with your mother-in-law. We at Bright Side understand how unsettling and challenging this situation must be for you. Based on your description, here are some practical and realistic pieces of advice to help you navigate through this situation.

• Schedule a face-to-face meeting: Arrange a meeting with your mother-in-law in person to discuss the incident. This will allow for better communication and understanding between both parties. Choose a calm and relaxed setting that allows both of you to openly express your thoughts and feelings about the recent incident. During the meeting, aim to maintain a non-confrontational and understanding tone, creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and empathy.

• Clarify expectations: Initiate an open and honest conversation with your mother-in-law to clearly express your expectations regarding the care of your baby. Start by acknowledging and appreciating her support in looking after the little one.
  Then, gently but firmly, let her know that while you value her involvement, breastfeeding is an intimate and personal aspect of mother-child bonding that you wish to handle exclusively. Reiterate that you would prefer not to share this responsibility with others, including her.

• Help her discover other ways to comfort the baby: Share some fun and creative ways she can calm and soothe your little one, like giving gentle cuddles, rocking them in her arms, singing sweet lullabies, or trying out a pacifier. By offering these alternative methods, you’ll emphasize that breastfeeding is your special way of bonding with your baby, making it clear that you’d prefer it to be an exclusive mother-baby experience. This will ensure that she can still provide care and comfort without crossing any boundaries.

• Consider a trial period with close monitoring: If you’re open to giving her another chance, propose a trial period where she continues to assist with baby care. During this time, keep a close eye on how things progress and how both you and your mother-in-law feel about the arrangement.
  This trial period allows you to assess whether the concerns have been addressed and if you’re both comfortable with the situation moving forward. It’s a flexible approach that enables you to make an informed decision based on real-time experiences and observations, ensuring the best outcome for everyone involved.

• Discuss solutions with your husband: Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband and ensure he fully understands your feelings and concerns. Work together to find a solution that makes both of you comfortable.

• Apologize for checking the camera: If the issue of privacy is a concern for her, apologize for checking the camera without her knowledge and discuss ways to avoid misunderstandings in the future.

• Seek professional advice if needed: If you find that tensions continue, or you encounter difficulties in resolving the situation, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a family counselor or therapist. These professionals can provide valuable insights and support to help facilitate better communication and find a resolution that works for you and your MIL.

Remember, approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and open communication can go a long way in finding a resolution that works for everyone involved. Trust your instincts as a parent and prioritize your baby’s well-being in every decision you make.

Dealing with your mother-in-law can be a real rollercoaster, but one perk is that they can be a lifesaver when it comes to babysitting. Although, you know, there have been times when some of them actually expected to get paid for it.