I Refuse to Allow My Daughter to Wear My Late Wife’s Wedding Dress
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy. People might process things and grieve differently. A man who lost his beloved wife a few years ago shared his story after he got into an argument with his daughter. She wanted to honor her mom by wearing her old wedding dress, but the dad didn’t think this was a good idea.
A father shared his dilemma.
My late wife was a very small person, when we got married she was only 115 pounds. So her wedding dress size reflects that. She passed away two years ago, so she cannot attend our daughter’s wedding that will be in 2025.
Now my daughter wants to wear the dress and I told her it wouldn’t be a good idea since she won’t be able to squeeze into it. She told me she can just up the size of it and I told her I would think about it. I looked into it, and they basically cut the dress up to size it up.
I informed her no she can’t wear the dress since they would be cutting it up. This resulted in a huge argument about me gatekeeping my wife’s things. I told her no again, and that she can wear some of her jewelry. She hung up.
She clearly thinks I am wrong, and my sons are now on me to give up the dress.
The dad offered more info in the comments.
- “My wife always wanted to go dress shopping with our daughters. She loved her wedding dress, I don’t think she would want it to be cut up.” Potential-Junket-193 / Reddit
- “My late wife loved that dress. She would never want scissors to be anywhere near it. She used to wear it on every wedding anniversary (it’s a straight white gown with beading). So yes I think she would prefer it in a box that getting cut up and made into something new.” Potential-Junket-193 / Reddit
- “It really feels like I am cutting up her memory and keepsake. Especially when I don’t think she would want this to her dress. I am not ready to let go of this piece of my wife and only have picture of our wedding day. I don’t know my daughter’s weight, but the dress would need to be sized up quite a bit.” Potential-Junket-193 / Reddit
Most people understood both sides, and showed sympathy towards the poster.
- “This is obviously not about the dress itself or how your wife ‘would’ have felt about it, but about how YOU feel about it. Which is OK, but don’t forget, you have some time to process this. You may find yourself okay with it after more time has passed. Or not. It’s okay to be honest about your reasons for declining but leave the door open to your stance changing later.” Right_Count / Reddit
- “She’s not entitled to the dress, but...do you have another daughter? If not, who is going to wear this dress in the future? It seems to me that the dress might be better used as part of your daughter’s wedding dress to honor her mother rather than sitting in the closet. But it’s your choice.” Scrabblement / Reddit
“I also have a younger daughter since that was asked.” Potential-Junket-193 / Reddit
- “It’s your wife’s dress so of course it’s yours to decide what to do with. I’m sure it holds a lot of sentimentality for you. But I can’t fault your daughter. Her mom’s death is still relatively fresh for her too, and she’s trying to plan a wedding without her, which is not something she ever would have wanted. So she’s most likely trying to feel like her mom is still there.” GraveDancer40 / Reddit
Choosing the perfect wedding dress is never easy. Another bride got criticized for the “naked” dress she chose to wear, but she had the perfect response for the haters.