I Refuse to Be an On-Call Babysitter Every Weekend, I’m Done Doing Charity Work

Family & kids
4 days ago
Christina Jackson
32 minutes ago

Why the f are you responsible for watching his kids so often? Stereotypical bs of a man getting a woman to do his bidding.

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Family means showing up in both good times and bad, sure. But what happens when “helping out” crosses the line? That’s the situation Marie found herself in.

She’s been babysitting her brother’s kids nonstop for what feels like forever, and finally decided she had to draw a line. The twist? Her simple “no” ended up flipping the whole family dynamic upside down.

Dear Bright Side,

I have to get this off my chest. My brother’s kids have been staying at my apartment every weekend for over a year. I love them, but I need a break.

I finally said no. He lost it. Called me cold-hearted, said the kids “need me.”

Then last night, I got a call from one of my nieces. She told me she cried every weekend because she feels like she’s bothering me. My brother never knew, apparently. I feel sick thinking I might have hurt them, even though I was trying to protect myself.

Life’s so messy... I don’t know if I did the right thing. What should I do now?

— Marie

Here’s Our Take:

Thanks for opening up about this, Marie. Honestly? You did the tough, necessary thing. Life’s messy, but protecting your mental space now can prevent bigger resentment down the line.

You’re not a villain for needing a break. Here are some tips that might help you cope and navigate the family conflict.

Callie Ge
day ago

Omg emotional blackmail. When are you supposed to get a weekend to yourself, how are You supposed to be in a relationship if all your spare time is taken up with their kids, you’ve been an unpaid babysitter every weekend for AYEAR, & you’re cold hearted.

Tell your brother that you will baby sit for free. ONE NIGHT PER MONTH, ONE ONLY.

If they don’t like that then Tell your brother to Fluck Off & parent his own kids, & don’t babysit at all.

Using the kids as Emotional Blackmail, that’s a low act.

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  • Boundaries are survival. You are allowed to have limits. Protecting your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
  • Talk openly with the kids. Let them know it’s not about them. Kids can feel guilt that isn’t theirs: give them permission to relax.
  • Share the load. Your brother may need to step up or hire help. You’re not a free daycare.
Kimberly Coleman
3 days ago

Shame on your brother. You're not being selfish at all. Your brother is. He's taking advantage of you and now he wants to make you responsible for HIS kids. Guess what! You're not! It's a guilt trip. Don't fall for it. You're a great Aunt, because everybody doesn't have that good. Tell your brother that, just like he does, you need time and space for yourself to relax and get a reset from the mental challenges you've faced all week. Obviously, that's why he's bringing them to you every weekend, because he needs a break. Let your nieces and nephews know that you love them and love spending time with them, but Auntie needs some alone time, but that doesn't mean they're bothering you. It just means you need time alone. They'll understand it, by and by.

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  • Small compromises. Maybe one weekend a month is doable. It’s still quality time without burning you out.
  • Communicate with your brother calmly. Repeat: calmly. Set expectations clearly and stick to them. He may be mad, but it’s a “new normal” thing.
  • Self-forgiveness. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You’re showing the kids that adults have limits—a lesson they will eventually thank you for.
Elizabeth Cox
3 days ago

There's an old saying about if you constantly pour water from a pitcher without filling it, it'll run out. You're that pitcher. If you give and give without refilling, eventually you'll run out.

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Gloria Acosta
3 days ago

Talk to your brother, tell him that you're burnt out and need a break. Tell him that you can babysit once month or in a emergency. If you baby sit every weekend, that doesn't leave a weekend for you to go out and enjoy your self

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Rachel Mann
3 days ago

You obviously don't treat your brothers children very well, if a child cries that they feel like they're bothering you. Saying No at the last minute isn't fair. Your family should come before your needs. You have the whole week to yourself. You are selfish. Shame on you

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Nessie Will
3 days ago
Rachel Mann

You must be the brother. She did not give birth to those children and she is family as well. Therefore, her brother should put her needs before his own and take care of the children that he helped to bring into the world. He doesn't care about his children "needing" their aunt. He cares about himself and his need for a break. Expecting people to take your children every weekend without checking in to make sure they are okay is not fair...especially if you are not paying them. Self-care is not selfish. The fact that other people in her family chose to have kids does not mean that she has a responsibility to babysit them whenever.

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Nessie Will
3 days ago
Rachel Mann

If she doesn't treat her brother's kids very well, then why would he want them to go to her house every weekend? Sounds like a terrible father. Honestly, he set the kids up to guilt his sister into babysitting which also makes him a terrible brother AND father.

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Gina Harris
3 days ago
Rachel Mann

Rachel Mann... How dare you... You should be ashamed! Every weekend? Last minute? Sounds like you're a user too with no regard for anyone but yourself. Just like her brother. Ever consider this person works the rest of the week? Some family have a tendency to suck the life out of you. Sounds like you're one of those.

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Tamara Harris
3 days ago
Rachel Mann

A persons on mental health is important! The girl isn't the kids mother, so No, family doesn't come before everything else! Especially when they're not your own children that you gave birth to! That girl desperately needs a break! Other than the regular work week! You're a selfish person.

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Michele Walker
3 days ago
Rachel Mann

You must be someone who does this to your family and then blames them when they say no. Quit being a mooch and take care of your own kids.

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6 hours ago
This comment got punished.
Christina Jackson
29 minutes ago
Rachel Mann

Lofl. Shame on YOU. She's one person running a household by herself and playing mom all weekend to kids that arent even hers. If family comes first then why is brother being so rude and hateful? You are extremely judgmental and disgusting.

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Karen Vaccaro
3 days ago

There’s no mention of a mother in the picture. May be that’s why bro needs help. However, that doesn’t mean it’s now your responsibility. You’ve helped, then are criticized for stopping help. Ingratitude is blatant here. Stand your ground.

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Carol Andersen
2 days ago
Karen Vaccaro

Yes. Help is one weekend a month; not every weekend. Her brother takes advantage for his own selfish purposes. The little girl should wonder how much her own daddy cares about them.

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  • Support network. Vent to friends, your partner, or even online communities. You don’t have to carry this alone.
  • Celebrate small victories. Even saying no is a win. Recognize it, even if the family drama is loud.
  • Remember the bigger picture. Kids grow up. Your relationship with them will survive boundaries. It may even be stronger because it’s healthier.

Sibling relationships aren’t always easy and often require patience, especially during family conflicts. Take this other story: a woman refused to let her brother live in the house she donated to her parents, and it sparked a huge buzz among the family.

Comments

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Danielle Woolley
3 days ago

Why isn't your brother taking care of his own kids. He and his wife should be ashamed of themselves for dumping their kids on you ever weekend. Your brother and his wife are be very lazy and disrespectful.

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abigail allbee
3 days ago

I can't believe that your brother is choosing to hurt his own children, what a pos, I'm sorry that he and his wife are such a bad leader and parent to your nieces. Prayers going to those little ones to become better and stronger than there parents

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Joe
3 days ago

It's likely that your niece recognizes the burnout you have been experiencing. You need to set a boundary for not just your own sake, but your niece and nephew as well.

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