Family means showing up in both good times and bad, sure. But what happens when “helping out” crosses the line? That’s the situation Marie found herself in.
She’s been babysitting her brother’s kids nonstop for what feels like forever, and finally decided she had to draw a line. The twist? Her simple “no” ended up flipping the whole family dynamic upside down.
Dear Bright Side,
I have to get this off my chest. My brother’s kids have been staying at my apartment every weekend for over a year. I love them, but I need a break.
I finally said no. He lost it. Called me cold-hearted, said the kids “need me.”
Then last night, I got a call from one of my nieces. She told me she cried every weekend because she feels like she’s bothering me. My brother never knew, apparently. I feel sick thinking I might have hurt them, even though I was trying to protect myself.
Life’s so messy... I don’t know if I did the right thing. What should I do now?
— Marie
Thanks for opening up about this, Marie. Honestly? You did the tough, necessary thing. Life’s messy, but protecting your mental space now can prevent bigger resentment down the line.
You’re not a villain for needing a break. Here are some tips that might help you cope and navigate the family conflict.
So you're expected to give up all of your weekends ability to rest and socialize so they can rest and socialize - does this mean when you get around to having kids they'll do the same for you??? Let the kids know you love having them but you need weekends to yourself once in a while
Omg emotional blackmail. When are you supposed to get a weekend to yourself, how are You supposed to be in a relationship if all your spare time is taken up with their kids, you’ve been an unpaid babysitter every weekend for AYEAR, & you’re cold hearted.
Tell your brother that you will baby sit for free. ONE NIGHT PER MONTH, ONE ONLY.
If they don’t like that then Tell your brother to Fluck Off & parent his own kids, & don’t babysit at all.
Using the kids as Emotional Blackmail, that’s a low act.
Tell your niece "you don't bother me
I love you very much. But I am not just your aunt I am a person, and I need time to myself, just like I am sure you do sometimes."
Shame on your brother. You're not being selfish at all. Your brother is. He's taking advantage of you and now he wants to make you responsible for HIS kids. Guess what! You're not! It's a guilt trip. Don't fall for it. You're a great Aunt, because everybody doesn't have that good. Tell your brother that, just like he does, you need time and space for yourself to relax and get a reset from the mental challenges you've faced all week. Obviously, that's why he's bringing them to you every weekend, because he needs a break. Let your nieces and nephews know that you love them and love spending time with them, but Auntie needs some alone time, but that doesn't mean they're bothering you. It just means you need time alone. They'll understand it, by and by.
There's an old saying about if you constantly pour water from a pitcher without filling it, it'll run out. You're that pitcher. If you give and give without refilling, eventually you'll run out.
Sibling relationships aren’t always easy and often require patience, especially during family conflicts. Take this other story: a woman refused to let her brother live in the house she donated to her parents, and it sparked a huge buzz among the family.
Why isn't your brother taking care of his own kids. He and his wife should be ashamed of themselves for dumping their kids on you ever weekend. Your brother and his wife are be very lazy and disrespectful.
I can't believe that your brother is choosing to hurt his own children, what a pos, I'm sorry that he and his wife are such a bad leader and parent to your nieces. Prayers going to those little ones to become better and stronger than there parents
NTA Bro needs to raise his own kidz
It's likely that your niece recognizes the burnout you have been experiencing. You need to set a boundary for not just your own sake, but your niece and nephew as well.
My daughter was a sausage maker before the bombs fell on hiroshima
