I Refused to Take In My Ex-Husband’s Affair Child, I’m Not a Nanny

This woman thought that her husband already did the worst thing, leaving her alone with 2 kids and going to live happily with his pregnant mistress. But she was so deeply mistaken! Now, her ex appeared in her life again and brought an explosive drama.

Here’s an email Kelly sent to us and her story:

“Hi, Bright Side,

My (34F) ex-husband (36M) left me years ago when his mistress got pregnant. I’ve been raising our two kids alone ever since. Last week, he randomly showed up at my door with his daughter (the one he had with her) and asked me to babysit.

His excuse was dramatic, ‘My wife is in the hospital, she’s dying, I need to be there, I have no one else to ask.’ I said no. He exploded and threatened me: ‘If you don’t help me, you’ll regret it till the end of your days!’ Then stormed off, calling me a ‘heartless, cruel witch.’

Two months passed, I’d nearly forgotten about it... until I got a call from his wife (the same woman he left me for). She introduced herself (like I didn’t know) and asked if I’d seen him. I told her about when he came by, desperate, because she was supposedly in the hospital ‘on her deathbed.’”

“She was shocked. ‘What hospital?!’ she asked. Turns out, she was never in the hospital at all. She was actually at her parents’, happily announcing her second pregnancy.

Meanwhile, my ex had just gotten tired of playing dad again. He’d lined up a date with another woman and needed someone to watch their kid. His ‘brilliant’ idea was to dump the child on me — his ex-wife.

Here’s my dilemma: I keep wondering if I did the right thing by telling his wife that he came to me with their daughter. She’s pregnant, and I know stress is the last thing she needs right now.

I can’t help but feel guilty, like I stirred up drama at the worst possible time. Maybe I should’ve just stayed quiet and not told her anything at all.”

Kelly’s story made quite a stir among Bright Side readers.

Our readers were so much impressed by this story that they rushed to the comments section and stirred an avalanche of opinions. Here are some of our readers’ thoughts:

• LunaWolf_92
  “Honestly, you didn’t owe him anything. The only person who created stress for his wife is him. You didn’t cause the drama, you just revealed it.”
• CoffeeSpill2020
  “I don’t think you should feel guilty. If you hadn’t said anything, she would have found out some other way. And she deserves to know the truth about her husband.”
• throwRA_sadbro
  “My ex used similar manipulative tricks. He made up ‘emergencies’ as excuses to hide what he was doing. These men always end up blaming the wrong person.”
• GrumpyCatDad84
  “Okay but... why even tell her? He’s clearly wrong, but if you wanted peace, you could have just said no and kept it private. Now you’re involved in their problems too.”
• sunflowerXx
  “As someone who went through a high-risk pregnancy, I would have wanted to know if my husband was lying like that. Stressful, yes, but being kept in the dark would have been worse.”

• midnight_pizza77
  “OP, you didn’t stir anything. The situation was already there, and he was the one making it worse. Don’t blame yourself for his choices.”
• 0rangeCrush
  “I probably would have agreed to babysit. Not for him, but for the child. She’s innocent in all this, and it feels sad that she is caught in the middle.”
• lostandfound_13
  “I was married to someone who cheated. Everyone who stayed quiet to ‘protect me’ only gave him more time to hurt me. You did the right thing, even if it feels uncomfortable now.”
• NeonFalcon32
  “He really told you his wife was dying just to go out? That’s incredibly low.”
• MomLifeChaos
  “As a mom, I understand why you refused. But part of me also feels bad for the little girl. She didn’t choose this situation.”
• Random_Duckling
  “I think you’re focusing on the wrong guilt. The guilt shouldn’t be about telling her. It should be on him for lying and making both women and his child part of his choices.”
• tinCanNoodle
  “My cousin’s ex did something very similar. Pretended there was a medical emergency just to cover for what he was actually doing. Sadly, this kind of behavior is not rare.”

• SharpSpoon23
  “Playing devil’s advocate: sometimes silence feels like the kinder choice. If she’s pregnant, and you knew it would create stress, maybe staying quiet would have been better.”
• blueberryYawn
  “You are not responsible for protecting her from stress. That should be her husband’s role, and he failed at it.”
• Expat_girl99
  “I’ve been the pregnant wife in this position. If someone had told me sooner, I could have made different choices earlier. You may have helped her more than you know.”
• JellyfishEmpire
  “It’s surprising that his solution was ‘I’ll just bring the child to my ex.’ That shows how little thought he puts into other people’s feelings.”
• u/SilentWitness-
  “He’s been manipulating both of you. Don’t feel guilty — instead, feel grateful you are no longer tied to this situation.”
• CactusQueen81
  “My ex used to involve me in problems with his new partners too. With people like that, there’s no way to win. No matter what you do, they twist it.”
• BrokePhilosopher
  “Being honest was the right thing morally, but it might cause you issues socially. She may end up seeing you as the problem, even though it’s not true. Protect yourself.”
• keyboard_smash
  “If she’s wise, she’ll realize you helped her. If not, she may blame you. Either way, that’s her choice, not your responsibility.”
• rainonmytoast
  “His manipulation is very clear. Even after all these years, he tries to make you feel like you’re the one at fault.”
• hotdoghands_47
  “You didn’t create the drama. You revealed it. Maybe you gave her the chance to see the truth before the new baby arrives.”
• TinyVolcano93
  “I see it differently than most people here. Sometimes silence really is the better option. A pregnancy is a delicate time, and calm can be more important than exposing the truth.”
• ZebraCrossings1983
  “He used the idea of his wife being at death’s door just to get what he wanted. That shows how self-centered he is.”
• cosmiclatte22
  “You’re only human. You told the truth. Don’t punish yourself for not being perfect in a very difficult situation.”

Here’s what Bright Side team has to say to Kelly:

Dear Kelly,

It’s easy to feel guilty when you’re caught in someone else’s chaos, but remember: you didn’t create this situation, he did. You acted with honesty and integrity, and that is a rare strength. If anything, consider writing down your feelings and boundaries for yourself, as if you’re sending a letter to the past you, not to him. It won’t change what happened, but it can give you clarity and peace.

And when it comes to future interactions with him or his family, protect your energy first. Being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat.

A 29-year-old woman recently told a story on Reddit that described why a couple of tampons had ruined her absolutely happy marriage. After seven years and 2 kids together, she had not a single reason to believe her 30-year-old husband would cheat on her. But what she discovered later, made her wish he’d better cheated after all.