Doesn't sound like you asked your Fil if it was ok to invite other guests when he was paying. You are wrong for that and not even offering to cover their meal. Of course you should have paid the tip, at a minimum.
Your wife is, imo, overreacting but, you owe everyone an apology.
I Refused to Tip $300 After Being Invited to a Dinner
What began as a joyful celebration of Mark’s son’s graduation quickly spiraled into chaos. Mark’s in-laws had planned an elegant family dinner, but when Mark invited his parents to join the festivities, tensions erupted. The evening ended with an unexpected clash and a surprising reaction from his wife, leaving Mark feeling confused and frustrated. Seeking clarity, he turned to us for advice.
This is Mark’s letter:


of course you were wrong. Never been married before? He paid for his side, you should pay for yours. Your parents probably came to $300 and the total was certainly that high counting you.
Yep, you were wrong, however I think your wife is being a little hysterical over the whole thing. Apologize to everyone.
I think if the father in law paid for the meal and the service was great then you should have paid for the tip as they could have asked you to pay half the total cost! However I think that there should have been a discussion between both sets of parents before the meal as to who was going to be invited and what was to be expected as they should have possibly given you a forewarning that you might have to chip in!
Yes! They paid the whole bill including yours and your parents', you are cheap, she is right to leave you!
ɢᴏᴏɢʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ 𝟸𝟸𝟶 ʙᴜᴄᴋs ᴘᴇʀ ʜᴏᴜʀ ᴍʏ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴘᴀʏ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴡᴀs 𝟾𝟻𝟶𝟶 ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀs ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ 𝟷ᴏ ʜᴏᴜʀs ᴀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ... qoo.by/ylcagt
Hello Mark! Thank you for sharing your story. We’ve prepared some tips that can help you navigate through this situation.
Offer a heartfelt apology focused on your son.
Apologize directly to your wife, emphasizing your regret for letting the situation impact your son’s celebration. Acknowledge that your reaction might have taken the spotlight away from your son on his special day.
Let her know that your actions were not meant to hurt her or the family, but stemmed from a feeling of being disrespected, and explain that you’re willing to work together to ensure your family dynamics improve moving forward.
Propose a family mediation meeting.
Suggest organizing a meeting with your in-laws to address the situation calmly. Let your wife know you’re willing to have an open conversation with her father about what happened and your perspective on the request to cover the tip.
Emphasize that this isn’t about assigning blame but about understanding each other’s expectations and resolving tensions for the sake of your family’s harmony.
Take a step back and give her space.
Respect your wife’s need for space while reassuring her of your commitment to resolving the issue. Write her a thoughtful letter explaining your feelings about the evening and the aftermath.
Acknowledge her hurt and your role in the conflict without pressuring her to respond immediately. This approach shows maturity and a willingness to let her process things at her own pace.
Focus on your parents and your son’s perspective.
Reflect on how your actions might have affected your parents and your son. Reach out to your son to explain the situation, ensuring he understands you didn’t intend to overshadow his celebration.
At the same time, speak to your parents about how they felt and whether they perceived the situation as disrespectful. Use these insights to better approach the issue with your wife and in-laws.
Olivia’s Thanksgiving dinner took a disastrous turn this year when she secretly invited her son’s ex-wife to the gathering. The new wife was far from pleased by the surprise guest, and the situation quickly escalated to a dramatic end. Read Olivia’s full story here.
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