I Said No to Bringing Kids on My Trip, and Everything Blew Up

3 weeks ago

I Said No to Bringing Kids on My Trip, and Everything Blew Up

Family conflicts can arise when personal boundaries clash with expectations. Many adults face tension when planning vacations, events, or experiences, especially when kids are involved. Dealing with situations like this often requires balancing personal needs with family pressures, which isn’t always easy.

Naomi’s letter:

Hey Bright Side,

A while back, me and a couple of close friends planned this vacation together. The whole vibe was meant to be relaxing, adults-only, no responsibilities. We literally picked an adults-only resort, spa days, late dinners, all the stuff you just can’t really enjoy with kids around. Everyone was on the same page, it was meant to be our little “reset.”

Christina Jackson

2 weeks ago

But squirting out babies made her instantly superior, right? Hahaha yeah no

Fast-forward to when my sister finds out about the trip. She immediately asks if she can come along... with her three kids. I told her no, because, first, it’s literally not kid-friendly and, second, it would completely change the vibe for everyone else who signed up for a child-free trip. She seemed a little annoyed, but I figured that was the end of it.

Michelle Strickland

3 weeks ago

First ADULTS ONLY means exactly that. NO KIDS. Second, how did sister find out about the trip. Third, what person in their right mind would think kids should be brought on an ADULTS ONLY vacation. Fourth, tell your family that you didn't refuse to take her and her kids, this was a vacation for YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS planned for months. Tell your family to plan their own vacation with your sister and her kids.

Well, we finally get to the resort, and I’m in full chill mode, until I notice a bunch of missed calls from my mom. I call her back, and she immediately goes off on me, saying I was “selfish” for not letting my sister and the kids come along, that I left her in a “tough spot” (IDK what that even means because this was never her vacation to begin with).

Christina Jackson

2 weeks ago

So sister is the golden child and mom's at fault. I'd go very low contact with controlling mommy dearest.

Then my sister takes it to the family chat. She posts this big guilt-trippy message about how “some people” (aka me) don’t understand family obligations, and how she had to scramble for childcare because she “wasn’t included.” Now half my relatives are treating me like I ditched a single mom in need instead of just going on a trip with my friends that I planned months ago.

Jessica Wilson

2 weeks ago

Yeah no you’re not being unreasonable. I have an older sister who is exactly the same way. Entitled to whatever I have or do because she has kids and I don’t. She honestly texts me at least three times a week for money until I block her. So baby girl you do with your homegirls in a KID FREE environment. I promise you any younger sister is gonna tell you the same thing about her older sister. They feel they are entitled to whatever you have because they were here first. I promise you truer words have never been spoken. Ask any little sister.

Honestly, I’m so frustrated. I didn’t make this trip secret, but I also didn’t owe anyone an invitation. Now I feel like my whole family thinks I’m heartless, when all I wanted was a break. Am I actually being unreasonable here, or is this just my family guilting me for setting a boundary?

Thank you in advance,
Naomi

Kimberly Regner

2 weeks ago

Your sister is being selfish. Her children are not your responsibility. She's the one who decided to have them. She's the one who needs to figure things out. It's not a vacation if you have to deal with someone else's children. It's your vacation that you've been planning for months. Enjoy it. Tell your family that if they're so concerned about your sister then THEY take them so your sister can have a break.

Carol A

2 weeks ago

I'm still trying to understand how your sister OR any family defending her think she would have a right to invade your vacation with close personal friends, kids or not. Even if she too, is a close personal friend to this group, then one of these interfering family members that feel sorry for the single mom can offer to take her kids for awhile so she can go. Better yet, they can start including her and her brood in THEIR vacations.

Who cares

You must be the sister in the story. The woman is entitled to a CHILD FREE vacation. The sister can go on her own with kids.

Karen Kempler

3 weeks ago

Your sister is more than welcome to go on her own vacation, with her kids.
It seems she wants to piggyback on your adults-only vacation to cut costs and have free babysitting for her three kids. Hard "no" to her, your mother and the rest of your family. If they refuse to hear you, block them for the duration.

Lisa Barbeau

3 weeks ago

Karen Kempler

Ding ding ding we have a winner. The expectation would have been for the other mothers to take care of her kids because she needs a break.

Misty Souders

3 weeks ago

Good grief. Some people are soo entitled. Number one this was planned out in the open. WITH NO KIDS INCLUDED. Before you turn off your phone remind you entitled family that this trip was quite literally planned I front of everyone. And it would seem as if though there the selfish ones that includes your sister. This is not her trip and her kids are not your problem. Then turn off the phone. And go and enjoy yourself

Carol A

2 weeks ago

Misty Souders

My husband and I once hosted an evening sit-down dinner with 5 other couples. My own children were happy to be relegated to another room with their dinner, TV and games. One couple showed up with their 13 yo daughter, and when I showed surprise, mom said they didn't go anywhere without her. I sent her to the room where my children were, making them slightly unhappy because they didn't like the pushy snot. I felt bad about that. I should have sent them packing with an apology that this evening wasn't geared toward children. Needless to say, they weren't invited again with most of us unless it was an outdoor event that included kids. Entitlement knows no bounds.

Annette Scott

3 weeks ago

No, you’re not unreasonable. This is your sister feeling that she’s entitled to your trip? She was not invited and it was child free enjoy the trip. Turn the phone off.

Kimberly Regner

3 weeks ago

Tell Mom and the rest of the family if they're so concerned about sister to open up their homes for the children so sister can have her own getaway. If no one offers tell them it seems like you're not the only one who is "selfish". Meanwhile just ignore everyone and you and your friends enjoy yourselves.

F#$#$ all of them

Your family is definitely guilt tripping you for no reason. You didn't ask her for a reason. She needs to suck it up and do for herself like you did for yourself. I was a single mom once upon a time...I just had to learn to wait to be able to breathe. She'll figure it out. It's NOT your responsibility to plan HER vaca.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Naomi! We know situations like this aren’t easy, so we tried to gather a few pieces of advice that might help put things in perspective. Hopefully, you’ll find something here that makes you feel a little less alone in it.

Don’t argue with people who benefit from misunderstanding you — Your sister wants to twist this into you being the bad guy, it gives her sympathy points. So don’t waste energy proving your case to her. Save your explanations for people who are actually open to hearing them.
Let people sit in their discomfort — Your sister’s mad? Cool, let her be mad. It’s not your job to bend over backwards so she never feels disappointed. Don’t jump in to fix emotions that aren’t yours.
You’re not a babysitter for life — This one’s bigger than just a vacation. If you don’t push back now, guess what? You’ll be roped into babysitting, bailing her out, and rearranging your life forever. This is one of those “first no’s” that sets the tone.

While family tensions can be challenging, setting clear boundaries helps preserve both relationships and personal well-being. With thoughtful communication and understanding, it’s possible to enjoy meaningful experiences without compromising your own peace.
Read next: I Refused to Watch My Wife’s Kids While She Went on Vacation, Now She’s Calling Me the Villain

Comments

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K Fitz

3 weeks ago

When you have kids, it comes with the understanding that you can't always bring them everywhere. Believe me, some people try. At the end of all things, no one else is responsible for accommodating your needs because you decided to reproduce. This is coming from someone child free by circumstance and not someone who dislikes children. Kids can be cool, amazing little people, but they are not meant for all places and spaces.

Renna Pate

3 weeks ago

What part of NO (kids) does your family not understand?
It's really pretty simple
Don't let them make it complicated

Jane Turley

3 weeks ago

Post in the family chat that your sister was never invited. Make sure they know that she invited herself. It's not a family trip. It's a friend trip.

Rashika Kansra

2 weeks ago

Absolutely! I'm a mom of one little person and never do I feel that my kids are anyone else's responsibility! Childfree event? Oh well, we're not going, simple! People that don't have kids have every right to enjoy adults only! Plus I could never invite myself to someone's trip/event. I have pride and if they didn't invite me, I'm not included, so I wouldn't even ask (and look like I'm begging). Enjoy your trip and when you speak to ur sister after, set your boundaries with her.

venomdrop

2 weeks ago

If you don't mind your sister coming tell your family to watch the kids and you'd be more than happy for your sister to come, but unfortunately all the activities including the resort is no kids. If not, then don't feel guilty. Are you expected to take your sister everywhere? Ridiculous.