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I Thought I’d Escaped My Toxic Ex Until My Sister Betrayed Me
The people closest to us have the ability to let us down in the worst ways. When your family doesn’t protect you, or worse, puts you in harm’s way, it can leave you feeling confused, on top of being extremely hurt. It was the case of our reader, whose surprising story we share below.


I’m startled a bit, even as I write this. There’s a part of me that still thinks I’m blowing this out of proportion, but something tells me this ain’t right.
A year ago, I fled a toxic ex. Let’s call him Max. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to share the extent of the emotional damage he’s done. He made me feel like the worst person on Earth.
After I broke up with him, I’d constantly run into him. Sure, I used to live in a small town, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence. To get away from this dude, I moved, changed my number, started over. But it seems he didn’t give up easily.
He once followed me across countries. I stumbled across him at a café where I would normally go to work, and, again, he said it was just a coincidence. That he was on a city break with friends, but I didn’t see a single soul around him that day.
I moved again. This time I made sure I didn’t post anything on social media. Only my parents and sister knew where I was. But one night, his name popped up on my phone. My heart dropped.
I answered and immediately started asking questions. Like how he got my number. He burst into laughter. His answer made me so angry when he said he’d gotten it from my sister.
I. Lost. It. My own sister. I called her immediately. At first, she tried to lie about it, saying it wasn’t her who gave him the number. But after I pressured her, she confessed. “It’s just a number,” she said.
Just a number, are you serious right now? This was the man who made me feel like I had to hide in the world. I asked her why she did it. She sighed and said, “It’s been a year. I thought maybe he changed.”
I think he got to her. I think he manipulated her too, convinced her he was the good guy, and I was the one being overly dramatic. I know that’s what he does. Now I’m scared for both my safety and hers. What should I do?


Simple, tell your sister he rat her and going to abuse her next. And said you will change your number next without telling her, for her own safety.
First off, thank you for reaching out to us. What you’ve shared is heartbreaking, but it’s important. Putting stories like yours out in the world might help others in similar positions. Here’s what we believe might be helpful in the near future:
- Take some much-needed space from your sister for now. You don’t have to cut her off forever, sure, but some distance might help you feel better. She broke your trust, so, understandably, you need some time. You can always decide later if the relationship is worth rebuilding.
- Change your number again and report to the authorities. While it’s frustrating to start over, it can give you back control. This time, share your new number with only the people you trust fully. As for your ex, if you feel your physical and emotional safety is at risk, report him to trusted authorities.
- Talk to someone who understands this kind of fear. You’re dealing with something more than just hurt feelings. A therapist or support group can help you process these fears, the anger, and the confusion that come with this kind of emotional turmoil. You don’t have to figure it out on your own.
If this story felt familiar or left you feeling uneasy, it might help to read more about what stalking can look like. We’ve put together a list of 8 subtle signs someone is stalking you, and it’s worth checking out, especially if you’ve ever felt like something wasn’t quite right but couldn’t explain why. You can read it here.
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