I Wanted to Break Up With My Boyfriend Because He Sleeps With a Toy, but I Got a Wake-Up Call

​Approximately 40% of adults continue to sleep with a stuffed animal, a comforting habit that transcends childhood. Psychologists suggest that these plush companions act as “transitional objects,” providing emotional support and reducing anxiety, especially during stressful times. However, this woman finds it very difficult to understand why her partner needs such a toy to sleep with. She is even considering breaking up with him.

I want to break up with my 23-year-old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal.

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. It’s like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year-old guy would need this?

It’s not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”. It makes even less sense, because he just seems so... “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion).

[edited] Am I just overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this. He even hugs it, works on it to add details and hand washes it.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities, though. He drives me to work at 5-6 am most days even though he starts at 9 am. Prioritizes spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he’s been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an Asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

People’s comments surprised her.

• I’m 49 and sleep with a soft toy too. My husband never had a problem with it. It’s up to you if you want to go out with this boyfriend. © Londonrach1 / Mumsnet
• You don’t sound like a good partner. Seems to me, he’s the one giving and you’re doing all the taking. Bin him off and let him find a dragon loving partner with similar interests. © Slobberchops1 / Mumsnet
• It’s not usual, but I wouldn’t say it’s a bad sign or worrying on its own at all. I would say in combination with the fact that you’re his first relationship, and he seems to be such a catch in every way, in combination with the stuffed animal, is something you can think about if you want to ponder on something.
  It could just be a sign that he’s quite sheltered, or it could be that this is a harmless inclination that he’s happy to put time and effort into and isn’t fussed about what people will think.
  I have a security blanket which I’ve had my whole life, but in my case it’s combined with a lot of other things and everyone who is aware of that and has still been in a position to be informed of my sleeping arrangements has taken it in their stride! © CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau / Mumsnet
• Sounds fine to me. If he preferred it when you were there, then maybe that would be a problem, but this sounds like a nice combination of a hobby and a comfortable way to sleep. © ErrolTheDragon / Mumsnet
• My best friend has a pregnancy pillow. He’s a 30-year-old man and sleeps with it every night. He’s never had a pregnant girlfriend, but has it to make sleeping more comfortable. © OurDreamLife / Mumsnet

There are many reasons a relationship can fade, and couples may break up or get divorced. In this case, when a woman started obsessing with the gym, she also started neglecting her partner.