I Was Excluded From My Sister’s Wedding Due to Guest Limitations, While My Ex Received an Invitation

Creating a wedding list, often seen as a joyful task, can unexpectedly lead to conflicts. Differing priorities between partners, varying family expectations, and the challenge of accommodating guests’ budgets and preferences are just a few factors that can spark disagreements.

My sister, “Emily”, is getting married soon. We’ve always been close, but things changed after my breakup with Chris, my ex of 5 years. We split up three months ago because he pursued a job overseas, and I didn’t want to move.

Emily and Chris have always gotten along, but I never thought she’d side with him over me. Yesterday, she called and casually mentioned that she invited Chris to the wedding — as a groomsman. Worse, she told me I was not invited due to the ’limited guest list,’ fearing my presence with Chris would cause drama.

I was planning to pay for half of Emily’s wedding as my gift, since we come from a modest background. Feeling hurt and betrayed, I told her if she thinks uninviting me for my ex is okay, she should manage without my financial support. Emily blew up, calling me petty and selfish, accusing me of ruining her day and manipulating her.

Now, our family is divided — some say I’m justified, others say I’m being too harsh and letting my breakup affect her happiness. Am I a bad guy here?

Most of the users blamed Emily for this situation.

• Your sister chose your ex over you! Rude, well I guess Chris can pay for half the wedding then! Please do not feel guilty for rescinding your offer... How can anyone in their right mind, especially your sister, expect you to pay half after she has disrespected you in such a big way? Trick_Parsley_3077 / Reddit
• You’re not obligated to give a gift to a wedding you’re not invited to. Etiquette 101. Emily literally bit the hand that fed her. Tell the family that is on her side, they are welcome to literally put their money where their mouths are since they are still invited. RNGinx3 / Reddit
• You made a commitment to your sister to find half her special day. But at that time you were a part of that day, and likely in the wedding party. She has every right to rescind your invitation, as it is her wedding. But she cannot expect you to pay for an event you are no longer actively participating in. It is not emotional manipulation. It is not selfish.
  Why should she benefit after punishing you for not wanting to move overseas? Basically, she wants to punish you for breaking “Chris’s” heart, and you do not have to reward her for doing it. I am curious, when you broke up with “Chris” was it amicable or acrimonious? You have the right not to want to move. Did he blame you for his opportunity? jmg4craigslists / Reddit

Some people felt sorry for the woman to have such family members.

• And any family members claiming the author is being too harsh... Well, they can open up their wallets and fund the wedding. The author has zero obligation to do so. I hope the author takes the money that would have gone towards the wedding and takes a nice drama-free vacation for herself. Sis is bonkers to expect the author to pay for an event that they are no longer invited to. Scorp128 / Reddit
• Family, friends and associates, no matter what they say, the only person you can really trust is yourself as life is a learning curve. And you need to learn that those who do you wrong, do not deserve your time or effort to appease them, just forget them as life is too short to have toxic people around you. Unknown user / Reddit
• If “family” is the reason they think OP should still stump up the money, then “family” means OP should still be invited. They can’t claim “family” only when it’s to their advantage. FryOneFa*** / Reddit

Opting for a child-free wedding can cause a stir among guests, particularly those with young children. Parents might feel excluded or inconvenienced, while others may view the decision as an opportunity to enjoy a more relaxed atmosphere. In one story, cousins showed up to an author’s wedding with their uninvited kids in tow, disregarding her clear request for a child-free event. To top it off, they didn’t bring a gift.