15+ Bright Side Readers Shared Why They Still Can’t Forgive Their Parents
Some people believe that we should let go of our childhood resentments and forgive our loved ones because they didn’t mean to hurt or offend us. However, forgiveness is not an easy task. Especially, if a child didn’t deserve to be punished by those they loved and trusted the most.
At Bright Side, we were touched by hundreds of stories from our readers. We hope they will help you learn from others’ mistakes and become better parents to your children.
- My parents gave me a gorgeous German doll for my birthday. It had luxurious long brown hair, blue eyes, a white blouse, a red waistcoat, a brown skirt, white knee socks, and white shoes. And it was not made of terrible cold plastic, but of some kind of soft, pleasant to the touch material. All of the neighborhood girls envied me. And I just adored this doll and took great care of it.
When I was in the 5th grade, my mother’s sister arrived with her daughter who was 3 years younger than me. She really liked my doll, and my parents persuaded me to give it to her because I was already a big girl, in their opinion. I had to agree. And a year later, when visiting my aunt, I saw what my doll had become — its hair was disheveled, the clothes were torn, and the face was painted with a marker (basically ridiculous attempts to apply makeup to the doll). I am already over 50, and I still remember that feeling. © Marina Dobrodeeva / Facebook
- They didn’t buy me the dress of my dreams, but gave it to my cousin instead, and it was the last dress in the store. I’m still fond of plaid dresses, and I am already 40! Recently I told this story to my mother and she was shocked at why I hadn’t told her anything earlier. So, you never know when you really hurt your child’s feelings. © Tatyana Shleinova / Facebook
- When I was a child, my mother told me that I was ugly, and wouldn’t allow me to spend time in front of the mirror. No, I wasn’t beautiful, but I was sociable, witty, and knew a lot (so they called me The Walking Encyclopedia at school). But when boys paid special attention to me I thought they were just kidding. So I felt very insecure.
Despite all of this, my life worked out well: I have been married for 45 years, have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. But I often regret the absence of romance in my life and still can’t understand my mother’s restrictions. © Irina Mikitas / Facebook
- I was a difficult child, so at some point, my parents decided to install a surveillance camera in my room. When I found out about it, it didn’t even make me indignant. While my parents were really determined and even went shopping in search of an affordable option, every time they returned with nothing. Thank God we didn’t have the money! © “Palata 6” / VK
- My dad gave me ruby earrings, the first earrings I had ever gotten in my life, and my mom took them and gave them to her brother’s wife. All my life I still haven’t forgotten how upset I was. And I would even take care of them in the same way as I had been taking care of the carved wooden box for many years — which was a gift from my dad on my 4th birthday. © Tinatin Musina / Facebook
- The father of my husband’s 9-year-old niece stole her piggy bank and gambled away all of her money. She had collected this money for a whole year, there was around $200 in there. © Irina Dolina / Facebook
- When I was a child, my mother prepared us for school in the morning. She made sandwiches with butter, which for some reason she always kept in the freezer. So my mother chopped off a piece of butter with a knife and dropped it on the bread. When I tried to complain that we should wait until the butter melted, she always replied that there was no time. I grew up and I understand that there really was no time: my mother woke up at 6 AM, she cooked breakfast for my father, then woke me and my sister up (often with a fight, because I liked to sleep in the morning), did our hair, ironed our school uniform, fed us, sent us to school, and then went to work herself. But every time I see butter, I recall those awful sandwiches and the taste of the iced butter. And today, I don’t eat butter anymore.
- My mother usually had lunch at work. A car from the cafeteria brought lunches to them. But one day this car was late. And so when I got home from school, my mother called. She asked me to bring her and her colleagues something to eat. Why did she decide to call? She knew there was no food at home! Was she trying to show off in front of her colleagues? Well, since there was no food, my sister and I made a vegetable salad. We didn’t even have time to eat. We put the container in a bag and left. When we got there, it turned out that their lunch had finally been delivered. Fat, stuffed women were sitting around rubbing their bellies. My mom took out our vegetable salad, and these women ate that too, and one of them even complained that it wasn’t that tasty. We didn’t eat for the whole day, and mom didn’t even ask us whether we were hungry or not. © Tatyana Diachenko / Facebook
- I was 6 or 7 years old, and I shared a secret that was very important to me with my mother. I even made my mother swear that she wouldn’t tell anyone. A few days later, I heard my mother telling my secret to her friend and laughing. That’s when I promised to myself that I would never confide in my mother again. And I kept my word. © Ludmila Volkova / Facebook
- My uncle told me that, at the age of 15, he worked on a farm for a month and got paid the same as the other adults he was working with. His mother took this money and brought it back to the farm. She said that a child shouldn’t earn this much money and she just gave a small amount of money to him for candy. © Viktor Dzemizashvili / Facebook
- It was the beginning of the ’80s. I was 14 years old and I really wanted to dress nicely. The whole summer I had worked at a bakery and, after 3 months, I’d earned quite a lot of money. I planned to buy myself a coat and boots for winter (I had always had to wear my older sisters’ clothes), and the remaining money, I had planned to give to my mother. I thought I could trust her, and gave her my first money so that she would save it for me. Alas, I didn’t buy any new clothes. My mom spent this money on new clothes for my little sister. 40 years have passed since then, but I still haven’t forgiven her. © Lubov Irina Sorokina / Facebook
- I studied well, and also attended rhythmic gymnastics classes. Once, when I was in the 2nd grade, I came home and my mother asked me in a soft voice: “Julia, what did you get on your math test?” Me: “B.” Mom threw the choreography book onto the carpet and said contemptuously: “Ungrateful! Why do I buy her books!” This theme of no gratitude and me being a bad daughter is still my MO. © Yulia Zelikova / Facebook
- When I was in the 5th or 6th grade, we went to visit my grandmother. I had a fabulously beautiful dress that I loved very much. So everyone began to praise me and say how beautiful I was in it. Even my aunt and her daughter, who was a year younger than me. Then my mother came up, took this dress off me, and gave it to my cousin. They were poor, and she, apparently, felt sorry for her. I was very offended, but I couldn’t object — we never argued with our mothers. And yes, she was good. But I still can’t understand why she did that. I am already over 60, and I am a grandmother myself and I still don’t get it. © Svetlana Golikova / Facebook
- I don’t remember exactly how old I was. I think about 15 or 16. I have a sister who is a year older than me. She was given a wristwatch, and my mother said that next year they would also give me a watch since I would be the same age as my sister at the time. But they didn’t give me one. On the next birthday of my sister, my mom took her to get her ears pierced. And she promised me that that next year, on my birthday, my ears would also be pierced. But it didn’t happen again. I always believed my mother, but after that, I stopped. I’m 40, and I stopped holding a grudge against her a long time ago, but I still don’t trust her. I have learned this lesson, and I never lie to my daughter. © Irina Sokolova / Facebook
- A long time ago, when I was very little, my parents bought me a big doll. And it was always kept on my wardrobe. And the wardrobe was really tall. When I was sick, I was allowed to hold the doll and walk it by its hand. I remember even wanting to get sick more often so I could play with it. I’m all grown up now, and this new doll still sits on the wardrobe in my mother’s house, covered in dust. I hate this doll. © TA Sha / Facebook
- I also had a doll. My mother’s friends brought it to me as a gift from abroad. A sailor doll, as tall as me. They solemnly presented it, took a photo of it with me, and then my mother put it in a box saying, “You’ll break it. It’s an expensive doll.” So it has been lying in a box in my mother’s closet for 30 years. She won’t give it to my son either, because he could break it, as she says. Of course, let it lie there taking up space for no one. © Irene / AdMe
- My parents and close relatives are very good people, but they have their shortcomings and their life difficulties just like everyone else. When I was a child, there were enough stories floating around about disrespect, groundless irritability, depreciation, and double standards, which resulted in a lot of complexes, severely low self-esteem, pronounced social phobia, and extensive depression. But over time, I realized that my relatives also had their own traumas, they didn’t have sufficient experience, and they experienced difficult life situations that hurt them too. And I learned to forgive and sympathize with them. I found the strength to overcome resentment and look for common ground. © amanogama / AdMe
Do you have similar stories with your loved ones that you still can’t forget and forgive? Share them in the comments below.