I Wish My Husband Would Cheat On Me With Another Woman
It has happened to many of us that we are in the middle of a problem that is seriously affecting our life, and from which we have to act intelligently and quickly. However, fear, insecurity, and uncertainty of what could happen do not let us move forward, turning that problem into our worst nightmare. Like this case of a mother who says she is fed up with her marriage and is only waiting for her husband to be unfaithful to separate.
“I am 28 years old, and I have spent every day of the last year wishing that my husband would cheat on me so that I would have a valid reason to end our relationship. I’ll give you some context.
I hate being married. My husband would rather spend more time with his parents and siblings than with me. We have spent the last three weekends at my in-laws’ house. Once we get out of there, my husband just plays video games with them late into the night. We haven’t been intimate for several weeks now.”
“It’s not just about intimacy. He complains about me all the time, behind my back and to my face. I’ve heard him tell our acquaintances that I’m annoying or that I’m a woman who complains a lot. I don’t feel like I’m asking more of him than any other person would in my position. I don’t get home until after 7 most nights because I have to pick up the kids, and I never ask him to pick them up or cook dinner.
I ask him to help me clean the house and help me put one of the kids to bed. By the way, he is only willing to put one of them to bed. My house hasn’t been neat in months. He just doesn’t do housework. A few weeks ago, he ran out of clean underwear and told me it was my responsibility to keep it in good condition, blaming me for everything.”
“Also, the man flatly refuses to take care of himself. He complains when I cook because I try to make healthy meals, and he doesn’t like vegetables. He doesn’t want to go to the gym with me but insists on playing video games instead. Obesity runs in his family, and I am doing everything I can to encourage a healthy lifestyle change.
I know he is depressed, but he won’t talk to anyone or take medication. No matter how I try to encourage him, he just prefers to suffer.”
“All this to say that I don’t feel it’s a valid enough reason to divorce. I’m not happy in my marriage, but it can be fixed. As long as both parties are willing, of course. He just isn’t willing. I wish he would cheat on me to feel like I have a valid reason for divorce. At this point, it wouldn’t even hurt that much.
I want to add a little more context. I was raised in an extremely religious environment. Leaving without a ’good reason’ is highly frowned upon. I guess I still have that instilled in my head and I feel my reasons aren’t good enough.”
“UPDATE: I decided to try to talk to him today about how I was feeling, and in the end, I packed up the kids’ stuff and my own. I will be staying at my mother’s house for an undetermined amount of time.
Therapy around here is either very expensive or hard to get, but we both agreed to give it a try.
I know it’s strange to need the push from strangers on the internet, but thank you for giving it to me. I honestly didn’t feel like I deserved to leave without a good reason. I’ve been told ’all men are like that,’ so I just tolerated it. Whatever happens next will be for the best.”
Some tips that other users have recommended:
- He is a bad husband, a careless, lazy, selfish man. He is not living up to his part of the marriage contract you both agreed to, that sounds like reason enough to me. Just plan your exit right now, save money, make sure your kids are covered, and get ready because something has to change at this rate. © MdeupUsernme / Reddit
- Being extremely unhappy with a partner that is not active in your marriage is a totally valid reason to get a divorce. © CurvyNerdMom86 / Reddit
- Seriously, being in a marriage where you are miserable with a self-centered person IS a valid reason. He doesn’t put you or your relationship first, and he doesn’t care about your happiness. Not to mention his lack of respect by talking about you the way he does to others.
Also for your children, do you really want them to have your marriage as an example of a “healthy” relationship? That it is okay to treat your partner badly, to ignore your duties as a parent and partner? Children are more aware than you think, they know when a parent is unhappy or when there is stress in the marriage. © trvllvr / Reddit
- I would talk to my family, and explain my emotions and my plan to save my marriage. It’s good to hear support from family and friends in these situations. It is really bad if he is talking behind your back and badmouthing you or insulting you. This is disrespectful to you and will make you look bad in front of his family and friends.
Men tend to project what they are doing. Men complain that you are nagging, they tend to nag, or the one who calls you toxic is toxic himself, etc. © Sufficient_Plantain1 / Reddit
- Life is too short to live in a situation where your best moment with a spouse is borderline misery. You deserve to find your own path and be happy. You are only punishing yourself for no good reason by staying in this awful marriage. Get out, please. © Proud_Spell_1711 / Reddit
- Being unhappy is absolutely a valid reason for divorce, especially because your husband isn’t willing to work on making it better. You don’t need him to cheat, you just need to find your courage and remind yourself that you deserve better. © CrystalQueen3000 / Reddit
- Just tell him you want a divorce. You will be surprised by how quickly he will change. There was a post on Reddit a while back where a woman was in a similar situation to you. She kicked him out and offered to give him one more chance, much to the surprise of the husband.
He changed so much that she was actually posting that he had changed too much and wanted him to relax a little. Your husband has got too comfortable and needs a reality check. The threat of divorce is a huge wake-up call. © Crazy_Perception_731 / Reddit
- Here’s the thing, NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU FOR THIS! It’s going to have to be you. So either you stay or realize you only have one life to live and need to do what’s best for you and the kids! Now go leave that man because again NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU! © Impossible_Way_884 / Reddit
Married life can be difficult, but sometimes simple things like washing dishes together or complimenting each other can save a marriage.