A mother posted on Reddit, asking for advice about a tough situation with her daughter after her marriage fell apart. The woman, 49, said she had been married to her ex-husband for 20 years before finding out he was having a two-year affair. But the real kicker? Her daughter had known the whole time and kept it from her.
The mom shared [edited], "I found out my husband was having an affair. But what hurt almost as much was discovering that my daughter knew about it the whole time, and never tried to warn me. I distanced from her to heal and started dating someone.
Out of nowhere, she called me in tears, accusing me of 'replacing her.' To top it off, my ex-husband later called me, furious, accusing me of 'leaving' my daughter for a 'younger man and a new family.'"
The betrayal from her daughter stung almost as much as the affair itself. At the time, the mom decided not to confront her daughter directly, thinking it would be too much for her to handle, especially with college on the horizon. Instead, she just told daughter that she knew, and after she left, mom pulled back emotionally, not calling or texting her as much.
You should speak to your daughter, one-on-one. Tell her you love her, but that you have been hurt by her actions. Tell her you hold no grudges but would only like to move on. Then introduce her to your new boyfriend who seems to be a wonderful and generous father. Good luck.
Fast-forward a year and a half, and the mom started dating a 41-year-old man who has a 10-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. The new boyfriend planned a big Disney trip for his daughter’s birthday and invited the woman and her son, along with his daughter’s cousins. He covered all the expenses as a gift for his kid. The mom thought it was a sweet gesture, but when her daughter saw photos from the trip on social media, things went south.
Her daughter didn’t call her for over a month. When she finally did, it was a full-blown meltdown. She accused her mom of cutting her out of her life and replacing her with the boyfriend and his daughter. Through tears, the daughter explained she had kept the affair a secret because she was scared and thought she was doing the right thing.
On top of that, the ex-husband jumped in, accusing the mom of being selfish and abandoning their daughter for her “new family.” The irony of the moral is that he’s dating a 30-year-old girlfriend, but he doesn’t seem to think that counts as moving on.
Things got messier when their son overheard relatives talking about his sister hiding the affair. He was crushed and hasn’t spoken to her much since. The mom feels awful that he found out, but there’s no way to undo it now, and it’s added another layer of family drama.
In her Reddit post, the woman admitted she feels stuck. She loves her daughter but says every conversation brings up old wounds, and she’s not sure how to let it go. She’s been going to therapy and trying her best, but she feels torn between protecting herself and trying to rebuild the relationship.
She ended her post by asking for advice, saying she doesn’t know if she’s failing as a mom or just doing what she needs to do to heal. What do you think about this? Share your comments down below.
