I Refuse to Pay for Food I Ate While Babysitting My Own Grandchildren

Family & kids
3 weeks ago
I Refuse to Pay for Food I Ate While Babysitting My Own Grandchildren

Some daughters-in-law go way too far with their demands, treating family visits like business deals instead of normal get-togethers. When you have to pay for every bite of food while babysitting your own grandkids, something is seriously wrong with how the family works. It’s shocking when someone charges grandparents for meals while getting free childcare — that kind of behavior is hard to wrap your head around.

Here’s Helen’s story:

SistaBrim
2 weeks ago

Your a nice grandma, I would have charged them babysitting fees. Lol Gas for traveling to and from their home. Thank you for the lesson.

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Hi Bright Side,

My DIL demanded I pay for every meal when I visit my grandkids. “You’re not getting charity here,” she sneered. My son said nothing. I smiled sweetly and agreed.

But the moment they left for their date night, I called my local pizza place and had them deliver dinner for me and the kids, then called a grocery store to deliver snacks and drinks for the weekend. When my son and DIL returned Sunday evening, they found their refrigerator and pantry completely restocked with groceries that I had purchased.

The look on her face was priceless when she realized that not only had I paid for every bite of food we consumed, but I had also upgraded their entire kitchen inventory with premium brands and organic options. The children were thrilled because I had bought all their favorite treats that she usually considered “too expensive.”

My son seemed embarrassed about the whole situation, but didn’t know how to address it without admitting his wife’s behavior was unreasonable. The kids kept thanking me and asking if I was going to do it every time I visited.

What made it even better was that I had kept every receipt and presented her with a detailed breakdown of exactly how much I had spent on “not getting charity.” The total was more than she and my son usually spent on groceries in a month.

Since then, she’s stopped mentioning payment for meals when I visit, though I can tell she’s still resentful about being outmaneuvered. The children now expect special treats whenever Grandma comes over, which has created a new dynamic where they look forward to my visits even more.

I love spending time with my grandchildren, but I won’t be treated like I have to pay for everything in my own family. This whole thing has shown me how petty and controlling she is, and I need advice on how to stay close to my grandkids while dealing with someone who wants to charge me for every little thing.

Please help,
Helen

Phyllis Popp
2 weeks ago

Have the kids visit you at your house at your convenience. Perhaps ask parents to bring enough food for the grands while they are there. THAT may provoke a serious conversation about DIL's behavior

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Megan Robnett
2 weeks ago

She sounds so hateful!! I tend to get to the root of the problem though…Are they having financial problems and on a strict budget?

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Amy Hamilton
2 weeks ago
Sugar & Spice

There are plenty of free date activities like concerts in the park. If there is a financial aspect honesty and kindness is essential. But parents do need nights away from the kids.

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David Weaver
2 weeks ago

While I agree that your dil was in the wrong for asking you to pay for a meal without knowing what the financial situation of the house is I have to wonder if she may have made the comment over stress of being fearful of not having enough groceries to get through until the next paycheck. What ever the reason was to bless them instead of showing anger is a true act of love

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Jean Ecassup
2 weeks ago
David Weaver

Do you think she'd have liked it better if grandmother started charging to babysit. Don't make excuses for the DIL OBVIOUS CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR. ALSO A LESSON SHES TEACHING TO THE CHILDREN AND. IF THE HUSBAND( HER SON) needs to stand up to his wife while the children arent too damaged BY THEIR MOTHER'S BEHAVIOR.

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Vicki Thompson
2 weeks ago
David Weaver

But op said she was sneering and smirking. That does'nt fit in with beingworried about not having enough groceries. I can't imagine myself acting or doing all that. I don't have much but I could never treat family that way.If anyone babysitted my kids,((and that was very seldom) I would go to the grocery and buy what I could afford. To this day, no one goes hungry in my house

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Robin
2 weeks ago

If she's not running a "charity" then you're not a FREE Daycare. They either can't afford childcare which is why they contact you. Charge them and see if your MUTE, Castrated son speaks up.

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Kelly Wagner
2 weeks ago

When it comes to hanging out with my grandchildren without my children their parents, this is how I am with this kind of situations, I love my grandchildren as I do my children. But if my children would like me to watch an care for their children, my grandchildren, while they go out spending money on their entertainment. it's always at my convenience and in my home. They need to ask me ahead of time to make sure I don't already have plans. I want control of my life and my space, I don't need to be told what I can or can't do, I am my on boss. my home is where it is, where I am comfortable. If I want a snack or a meal I know where to find it, and it is the food I enjoy to eat, without fear of what someone may think or say, to or about me. I don't want to be in a strange place to sleep, I want to be in the place I know I can sleep and dream in peace. I truly believe by doing it this way, it gives me peace and respect from my children and grandchildren.

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Jason Thompson
2 weeks ago

Your son is a pathetic little pussy I would of divorced the bitch the first time she disrespected my parents

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J
2 weeks ago

Your son is the problem. He should have called out his wife's behavior the first time it happened.

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Doggie Lover
2 weeks ago

Wait … What? …
First of all…your son needs to grow some balls.
2nd … charge you for food while you are babysitting? Are they paying you ??
3rd…
I would save all my money & buy a beachside condo & Book cruises & invite only my grandkids …
4th… in your will … leave son out & all goes to Gkids.

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Lizi
2 weeks ago

Where I come from, we called her " GRANNY " My mom's mother. She was beautiful inside out what a christian woman she was. Everyone called her " Granny ". Her home-baked cookies, Hugh chocolate chip cookies hot from the oven, so delicious.

Fresh Veggies from the garden. Lots of love from her heart to buy and prepare food for the family. Wonderful memories.

You are a wonderful Grandmother to buy and prepare food for your grand babies. Plus show and teach them how to cook with you. Make some home baked cookies together.

So, what if you have to pay for it? I find it as a compliment. It puts you in control. Way to go, since you are paying for ir, you get to make the decision on what to buy. Love that it is healthy and nutritious. Your grandkids love it.

What you are doing is spending precious memories with your family with awesome meals made from their grandmother.

Your grandkids will always remember this with you, and no one can take that away from you even if you have to pay for it.What a good reason. Money worth spent.

As they grow up and have their own kids, your great grandkids they will reminisce about your meals.You you have created a lifetime memory with your family.

Love ❤️ and Smiles 😃

😃 ❤️

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Jean Ecassup
2 weeks ago
Lizi

Most seniors can't even afford to babysit for free much less supply food. AND IF ITS LATE WHEN THEYCOME HOME I WONT BE DRIVING HOME EITHER AND WILL EXPECT BREAKFAST OR THEY CAN TAKE ME HOME. If they need a sitter to GO OUT they don't have issues with food. And they aren't paying expensive childcare to strangers.( SECURITY CHECKS. INFO ON FILE. ETC) think about it.

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Kimberly Regner
2 weeks ago

I think you did it beautifully. Keep track of all receipts. In the future if DIL starts charging you again with anything else present her with your receipts and a bill for baby sitting. Tell her fair is fair. Meanwhile tell your son to grow a backbone and stand up to his wife.

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Athena Marie Lattimore
2 weeks ago

What happened to family?? I mean like grandma visits the grand children and they spend quality time together because they love each other?? Now everyone wants to get paid!! Grandma's want to get paid to babysit for the weekend parents want to charge for their mom or dad's to eat at their house!! Grandparents dont want the kids for more than a night or two. Parents think Grandparents owe them free day care for years!! Growing up we went to grandma's on the weekend a couple times a month or if they lived far you would go spend the summer with them! Nobody got charged. Grandparents use to come stay for a week or two to visit and stay at the house naturally help out and enjoy quality time without being charged! Wth is going on in this generation. I read these stories to often anymore its so sad and dissapointing.

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Doggie Lover
2 weeks ago
Athena Marie Lattimore

Totally agree, this generation are full of users & entitled people… no gratitude for anything … they don’t know how to write a sincere thank you note … or say thank you … we are supposed to be lucky to get a 2 word text … no thanks … when my husbands grown son forgot his bday 2 years in a row … we were done with remembering his or his wife’s… we feel lighter & more joy not waiting for it anymore … it’s great !

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Sherry Vaughn
2 weeks ago
Athena Marie Lattimore

I agree with you, thats how it was when I was growing up, I never heard of all this stuff thats happening between families today, the parents raise their kids till adults. But for some reason, they think their owed something by the grandparents. By charging them to babysit for free, and this is the first ive heard of them charging them to eat at their house. Maybe the grandparents should start getting paid for watching their grandkids.

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Lisa Barbeau
2 weeks ago
Athena Marie Lattimore

Maybe you haven’t noticed how much things have changed in the last 50 years. A lot of grandparents still work full time themselves, even past “retirement age,” so they need their weekends just like everyone else. Others are retired but may be much older and don’t have the energy to take care of toddler for more than a night or two. It’s not like the days when most people had their children young and grandma was usually a stay at home wife in her 40s or 50s. I have friends who had their children young and are now grandparents at 45. Jobs or running their own businesses means they aren’t available often. I have others who didn’t have their first child until they were past 40 so their parents were already over 70.

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Jean Ecassup
2 weeks ago
Athena Marie Lattimore

People are living longer. Most seniors have lives and go out. TRAVEL. DATE. DINNERS. Childcare is a gift or a cost depending on how fixed income parents are. AND MOST SENIORS ARE STILL WORKING BECAUSE THEY CANNOT AFFORD LIVING NON SURVIVAL MODE ON FIXED I COMES
SO IF IM WORKING DONT EXPECT ME TO JUMP ON MY DAYS OFF BECAUSE I DO HAVE A LIFE.AND I HELPED RAISED MY GRANDS WHILE MOM WORKED AND WENT TO SCHOOL. SADLY MOST WOMEN ARE. MARRIED SINGLE MOTHERS because men think they CAN come home and be couch potATOES while mom starts her second shift of child care and home care ( dinner. Laundry etc) THE SON DROPPED THE BALL BIG TIME ON THIS ONE. Maybe mom is controlling because the son is a manchild.

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Edyta Wojtal
2 weeks ago

you just say to your son and his wife thatvyouvwill look afyer thw children but... if you will do it in thier house they need to provide the food or you will charge them for babysitting, it will be a 3/4 of the normal price because you are family but you do not do charity, if this is not what the DIL wants so they have another choice, bring the children to my house and pls bring all the food or the money to buy it, because you are not a charity , but in that case you wil do for 1/4 of the price necause you arw family 😂 somthing is wrong with your son and definitely with his wife, why her parents are not babysitting? I think they know thier daughter better than you and your son all together 🤔 good luck with that

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Teresa Phillips
2 weeks ago
Edyta Wojtal

I never thought of that. Thank you. Why are the other grandparents not babysitting? Charging for the food eaten. Oh my!! I am grateful to Jesus that I am not of this horribly entitled generation. I would hope that if I were much younger, I would not disrespect my parents and in-laws. I am shocked

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Stephanie R.
2 weeks ago

I hope you are not giving her charity then and charging her for babysitting, especially for an entire weekend. Wth.

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Claire Klawikowska
2 weeks ago
Stephanie R.

Is this actually true? A son would let his mother be treated like this ??
And worse people suggesting you charge to look after your own grandchildren?
Seriously what has happened to this world.
Family used to mean everything

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Gwen Block
2 weeks ago
Claire Klawikowska

Yes, it happens all the time, much more than you know. Much more than you want to know because it's pretty sad when I found how many grandparent are estranged from their kids and That includes not being able to spend time with their grandchildren. I know go both ways where sometimes a grandparents are overbearing and the adult children stop contact but there's also the opposite that happens just as much and maybe more so, where the adult child and their spouse have some issue with the grandparents and they stop contact with them or they limit it very much and that means they never get to see their grandkids and they can get you adult age and never have any kind of relationship with her grandparents. There's all kinds of groups on Facebook if you don't believe me if a estrangex parents are estranged moms, and his heartbreaking and most of the time it's for some stupid misunderstanding or miscommunication or often there's a very insecure wife or sometimes it's a husband who controls the other spouse and feels threatened by the spouses family so they cut off contact and the person who is married to that insecure person, gives in because they want to keep their wife or husband happy. I think it happens more that's a woman is manipulating and controls the husband, but the grandkids end up growing up without their extended family. And even more unfortunate sometimes counselors who don't even know anything about the family or the grandparents, will encourage them or agree that they should stop contact and I think they are being unethical in many ways because they don't even know the story and the truth get buried in he did she did. Some people have to tip go around their own adult children just prevent this from happening or sometimes it's happening it's very hard to get back into the picture. It's even worse when you're a single grandparent and if you know you're a good parent to your kids and that happens at some point and mine was because of my ex-husband who became the hero And did this win his own daughter or oldest daughter together was critically ill in the hospital and him and his wife manipulated everybody and I became the scapegoat. But I was accused of was not true at all but how do you get out of that situation it's almost impossible but I accept for a little amount of time they allow me to have with my grandson I haven't seen him in person for 3 years but I did get to video chat with him three times and my daughter-in-law did send pictures to me recently last Christmas but it's still heartbreaking I've between worrying about my oldest daughter still 3 and 1/2 years later and worried about and sad about my grandson is more than I can take sometimes.. And I really can't share with anybody because my daughters don't talk to each other either probably because of my ex because she's my adopted daughter And I think he tried to break up the relationship between the three siblings which he did make it worse with the sisters but that's between them they're all adults they can take care of it on their own although it still put me in the middle because we can't spend time together we have to separate time together and it's just me and my kids and their boyfriend or spouses. But I just take the time I can get with my two daughters for now even if I spend time with them separately I still talk to each of them about the other whether they like it or not I don't specifically involve them but I tell him what's going on with my life including what I do with them because we all live in the same town now all the way I'll have different homes now. Sorry for the long story but it's hard to believe people don't know about other relationships that aren't so good and it's happens in about a fourth of families is what I've read The people don't have any to do with each other

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barbara Nivens
2 weeks ago

"Ok. And this is my hourly rate. Which, if you look, is lower then normal rates. Family discount. Due when you return. In cash."

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Dear Helen, thank you for sharing your brilliant and creative response to such a ridiculous situation. Your solution was perfect because it addressed her demands while showing everyone exactly how absurd the whole situation was, and we hope our advice helps you navigate future family interactions with confidence.

Lt
2 weeks ago

Judging by the comments left here, it appears that people have little to no empathy for your fellow man, let alone your own family. It doesn't matter that they're not blood related, you don't treat people like the DIL did. Even if you're financially struggling with your food costs, you don't charge your mother for food while babysitting your kids. The grandma didn't mention that they might have financial difficulty so either their not or grandma doesn't know. If the latter, the proper way to broach the subject would be, "Sorry we aren't able to pay you for coming here to look after the kids while you're out." But I suspect that anyone who goes out regularly aren't really struggling with money. How petty is the DIL and how spineless is the son to not be able to point out his wife's pettiness towards his mother? I suspect that he is either scared of his wife or doesn't respect his own mother. If we can't be civil with our own families, how do you expect the country to come together? The divisiveness if going to destroy America. Come together and have compassion, empathy and love for the people around you, for Christ's sake and the sake of the country.

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Don’t let money games control your relationships. When someone tries to turn family visits into financial transactions, they’re usually trying to control the situation or make you feel unwelcome. Your grocery delivery response was perfect because it met her demands while showing how silly they were.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re taking advantage when you’re actually providing valuable help. Focus on the relationships that matter rather than getting caught up in petty power struggles over food costs.

Don’t enable the controlling behavior. Your grocery solution was smart, but don’t always give in to unreasonable demands, or you’ll encourage more controlling behavior. Sometimes it’s better to skip visits rather than jump through hoops for someone who doesn’t appreciate your help.

You don’t have to accept ridiculous rules just to see your grandchildren, and standing up for yourself might actually make the whole family situation better.

Don’t take the bait when she tries to start conflicts. People who create petty rules and demands often want you to react emotionally so they can paint you as the difficult one. Stay calm and respond practically to unreasonable requests, like you did with the grocery delivery.

When you don’t give them the dramatic reaction they’re looking for, they often lose interest in the power game. Your sweet smile and practical solution probably frustrated her more than any argument would have.

jescln
2 weeks ago

Nicely done...you took care of both, your DIL and unconciderate son. Small actions speak louder than words at times.

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Find alternative ways to connect with your grandkids. If visits to their house become too stressful or expensive, suggest alternative activities like meeting at parks, restaurants, or your own home. Taking the kids on outings removes you from her controlled environment and gives you more natural time together.

Sometimes meeting somewhere else can completely change how everyone acts and prevent silly arguments about house rules.

Have you ever been charged money by family members while you were helping them out? Share your story in the comments—other people dealing with demanding family members need to know they’re not alone in expecting basic respect!

And while you’re here, don’t miss this powerful story from another reader: “My daughter insisted I sell my house to fund her unemployment: ‘It’s my inheritance anyway!’ I said no. ‘I’ll put you in a nursing home!’ she yelled. At 3 AM, my doorbell rang. What I saw made me grateful I’d refused. It was my daughter with...” 👉 Click here to read what happened next.

Preview photo credit SHVETS production / Pexels

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Ashley Kirin
2 weeks ago

This isn't the win you think it is. You have proven to be a doormat. Not only did you pay for food the parents should have provided from the start, you gave them free food.

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Tilly Tully
2 weeks ago

Pray for everyone. God is so near just a breath away. When someone can't feel the Light and Love of God is good to pray for them

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