A woman faces an impossible choice after her husband divorces her to honor his dying mother’s wish, and she must decide how much truth to tell their children.
Hi Bright Side!
I always believed my husband loved me, even with all the tension with my MIL. We have three kids together, aged 7, 5, and 2, and I thought our family was solid. But one evening, out of nowhere, he told me, “My mom is dying, and I have to honor her last wish. I’m divorcing you.” I couldn’t believe it.
I was devastated, left with three kids at home, and back then, all I could think about was revenge, though I wasn’t sure how. During that conversation, before he left, he begged me not to tell the kids the real reason for our divorce, but I went ahead and did it anyway. I wanted him to feel the way I feel now. Now they know, and they don’t want to see their father at all.
Now I’m left with the consequences of my choice. If I hadn’t told them, I would have been hiding the truth from my kids, but telling them has pushed them away from their father. I can’t stop thinking about whether I did the right thing. Should I have protected them from the truth, even if it meant keeping a secret? Or was being honest worth the fallout, even if it risks their relationship with him forever? I still don’t know what the right choice was.
Sincerely,
Julienne T.
Children will find the truth one way or another.
Why wouldn't you tell them what was true? Why would you cover up the real reason for your divorce so they don't distance themselves from their father? I think you did the right thing. They have the right to know the reason why your husband chose to divorce even though I think he had other ulterior motives for this. I think he had someone else before this and he used his motheras an excuse to get out of your marriage...
Thanks, Julienne! Let’s take a closer look at your questions and clear up the situation.
Julienne wondered if explaining the full reason for the divorce to her children would help or hurt them. Kids pick up more than we think, and sometimes honesty can create distance instead of understanding. It’s not about lying, but about framing the situation in a way they can handle without feeling like the world has fallen apart.
In the moment of betrayal, she wanted revenge. Acting on that impulse felt satisfying at first, but the outcome (her children refusing to see their father) showed that choices made in pain can ripple farther than intended. Sometimes the reaction that feels right in the heat of the moment isn’t the one that protects the family long-term.
Now Julienne faces the weight of the aftermath and her own guilt. The key is to recognize that protecting the kids and being honest don’t have to be opposites. Thoughtful communication that considers their age and emotional state can allow them to process the situation safely, even if the full truth is gradually revealed over time.
It’s easy to blame oneself or overthink what could have been done differently. The reality is that these situations are rarely simple. Her husband’s decision was his own, and the way the kids reacted is natural for their age. Understanding that not everything is in her control can help Julienne separate what she can influence from what she cannot. What’s needed for now is to:
In the end, there’s no perfect script for situations like this. All Julienne can do now is move forward with patience and compassion, for herself and her children, and trust that healing will come in time. Here’s another story showing just how much a mother-in-law can influence family dynamics, even pretending to be sick to stir up tension.
