My Husband Is Falling for Another Woman — I Don’t Know How to Stop It

Infidelity, a devastating breach of trust within relationships, can manifest in subtle yet profound ways, leaving people grappling with feelings of suspicion and betrayal. Below, a woman, found herself questioning her husband’s increasingly intimate interactions with another woman. Despite her initial trust, she now seeks comfort and guidance from the online community as she tries to figure out what to do next.

She wrote:

«I think my(f31) husband(m36) has a crush on another woman. He is a maintenance guy and has been helping this single mother a lot lately. I don’t mind him helping anyone at all, he has a kind heart and has always helped people, that’s what I love about him. Additionally, they started texting each other late at night. But I checked, and it’s only about friendship stuff.»

«So I was cool about it up until the other night when I caught a text from her saying she was scared that her ex was going to come around or something. So my husband wanted to go watch over her house, which ended up causing a fight between us.»

«Then, the other day, her car was broken, and my husband picked her up and her kids from work and school, and didn’t tell me he was doing this. And lately, I’ve noticed he’s been constantly „forgetting“ tools at her house, and I just have a horrible gut feeling they are either interested in each other or already having an affair at this point.»

«I hate this feeling. He gets so mad when I bring it up, like how dare I stop him from helping this single mother, and he makes me feel bad about it. But it didn’t stop here. The other day, he went as far as asking me to babysit her kids while she goes to work, but I definitely refused. I really want nothing to do with this woman, and I’m sick of hearing about her. My husband blew up at me for saying no.»

«I don’t know what to do. Should I contact her and ask or tell her not to message him so late? I really don’t feel comfortable anymore with the thought of them being just friends. We have kids together, so leaving him isn’t that simple. I’m at a loss, and I’m having a hard time thinking clearly about this without my emotions clouding my thoughts. Any insight would be great.»

People who read her post joined the conversation, sharing their viewpoints and offering advice.

• I would sit him down and tell him point-blank, «It’s her or me! You either cut off this inappropriate relationship, and we go to couples counseling, or you can go stay at her house permanently while we get a divorce. I’m not going to be the second priority in my own marriage.
  I am your wife, not her. If you want her fine, leave. If you choose me, you will go completely no contact with her from here on out.» © TheLeoScribe / Reddit

• He «blew up» on you?! That’s classic gaslighting. He’s using outrage to make it appear that your concerns are baseless and that you’re not in touch with reality. It sounds like he’s already cheating. © Comfortable-Lion-445 / Reddit

• He prioritizes her more than you, and he’s mad that you’re getting in his way. He’s blowing up at you, his partner, to defend another single woman. If he respects you properly, he would understand why this makes you uncomfortable and make changes, negotiate, and reassure you.
  But instead, he’s getting angry and defensive. Regardless of if he’s cheating or not, he’s being wildly disrespectful. Please take a step back and look at the pros and cons of your relationship as a whole, is it worth it to be stuck with a man that is behaving this way? © Valze_Vods / Reddit

• It almost doesn’t matter if they’re having an affair or not. She’s openly inserted him into the «substitute husband» role, and he’s happy to take it on. That’s a problem on its own. Nobody should get priority over your life partner who you made vows to. Both your husband and this woman are playing in your face. © TheSpiral11 / Reddit

• I’d have to say there is at least some attraction. At this point, doing all these extra little things, seems like more than just trying to help someone. © jpmst17 / Reddit

• He may have a kind heart for her, but he doesn’t care about your feelings. You said you understand that he likes to help people, but he needs some boundaries as this is affecting your relationship and trust for him. How would he feel if the situation were reversed. If he’s not willing to put your needs first, then I think you do need to reconsider your relationship with him. © Dear_Parsnip_6802 / Reddit

In this other post, we explore the emotional journey of a different woman who felt her confidence shatter after her husband admitted something during a therapy session. The confession not only made her rethink their relationship, but also made her question who she is as a person.