hi as a parent who actually witnessed her daughter almost drowned I can tell you it is scary but that doesn’t give anyone the right to stop them from having fun and worst part they didn’t tell you which means that you couldn’t be a parent and make sure your child was alright that is what I would be scared of
My Sister Excluded My Daughter From Family Party—The Reason Shook Me

Here’s a story Miley shared with us:
“Hi, Bright Side
Last weekend, my sister hosted a big family pool party. Everyone was there: cousins, uncles, the whole crew. She has a gorgeous in-ground pool, and as soon as we arrived, all the kids ran to get their swimsuits.
I helped my daughter, Lily, change, and she was practically bouncing with excitement. But then my sister blocked her on her tracks, and said, “Lily, you can’t swim here!”
I thought she was joking. Everyone else’s kids, even toddlers, were already in the water. I laughed and said, “Very funny,” but she shook her head and said, “No. She’s not allowed.”
Lily was in tears watching her cousins splash around. My husband was furious, and we left immediately, without saying goodbye. Later, in my parents’ house, I cornered my sister in the kitchen and demanded the truth.
She broke down and confessed, “The last time Lily was in my pool, something happened. And you were never supposed to find out.” I asked, “What do you mean something happened? We’ve never been here before!”
She replied, “Well, you have. Last year. When you went on that weekend trip and left Lily with mom. Mom brought her here. I was watching all the kids in the pool. And Lily slipped under. I pulled her out in time, but she was very scared.
I was horrified, too. Mom begged me not to tell you, she didn’t want to upset you. I agreed because Lily seemed fine afterward... but I’ve had nightmares about it ever since. I can’t risk that happening again. Not on my watch.”
To be honest, I didn’t know how to properly react to that confession. Lily had never told me about this accident. Probably, she just didn’t remember it.
But now, I’m torn, because I think my sister shouldn’t have excluded my daughter from having fun, and she should’ve told me about what had happened that day to Lily immediately after this accident.
I took a pause in my communication with sis, I just can’t make myself talk to her again, I’m appalled. Am I overreacting?"
Bright Side community reacted to Miley’s story in the comments.

She should have told you. I'm a huge believer in not keeping secrets because the truth always reveals itself. The other thing after telling you was to say how hard time she was having emotionally and for that reason your daughter could only swim at her home if you are present.
I would be extremely upset for not having been told.
Bright Side readers had extremely different opinions about Miley’s situation. Here are some of the comments:
- MapleLeaf_77, “Honestly, your sister saved Lily’s life once. I kinda get why she’s traumatized. Still, hiding it from you was wrong.”
- DramaLlama88, “No, you’re not overreacting. I’d be furious, too. Excluding a kid like that is humiliating and unfair. A private convo would’ve been enough.”
- CoffeeAddict_42, “I feel bad for your sister. She clearly has PTSD from that accident. She didn’t mean to hurt Lily; she was just scared.”
- Sassy_Pineapple, “Wait... your mom hid the fact your kid almost drowned?! That’s the real villain here. I’d go no-contact with her first.”
- PixelPanda91, “What your sister did was wrong, but her intentions weren’t. Fear can make people act irrationally. Maybe therapy for both of you?”
- ZeroChillCarl, “So she let your kid nearly die, then kept it a secret, and now punishes the kid? Yeah, I’d be livid. That’s not okay.”

I believe the reason your sister was having nightmares is because she lied to you! I believe had nothing to do with your child almost drowning under her watch, as much as her almost allowing it to happen under her watch. Her nightmare not yours!
- Bookworm_Rose, “Honestly, I see both sides. She panicked before, now she’s overprotective. But communication matters, she failed there big time.”
- RealTalk_209, “That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen if something had gone wrong. I’d never trust either your mom or sister around my kid again.”
- SunnySide94, “You’re not overreacting. If my child almost drowned, and I wasn’t told, I’d burn bridges. That’s betrayal, plain and simple.”
- MomOfThree_88, “I wouldn’t cut her off completely. She clearly cares about Lily. But yeah, she should’ve told you day one. Secrets hurt families.”
- TechieTom55, “Your sister saved Lily, and then carried the guilt alone. Not excusing her, but that’s heavy stuff to live with.”
- Cynical_Squid, “Imagine being Lily. Excited to swim, then shamed in front of everyone. That would scar me more than the drowning story.”
- TruthBimbo_J, “Both your mom and sister made a HUGE mistake. But your sister sounds genuinely traumatized. Maybe try a calm talk later?”
- WildCard_X, “Nah, she should’ve told you right away. Accidents happen, but covering it up? That’s shady and disrespectful.”
- GhostInTheChat, “Not gonna lie, I’d be petty and host my own pool party just for Lily. Let sis deal with her own paranoia.”
A piece of advice from Bright Side editorial team:

How old is Lily? Have Lily been taught by a licensed swim instructor at any point with water basic safety classes? If not she should have been a wearing a life vest and I know that sounds odd but it's no different than going boating you still need to have a life vestal one keeps kids from going under the water and staying under the water. I grew up around water my sister was a lifeguard for 20 years she received accreditation at the US naval Base in Norfolk Virginia for saving a Navy officer from drowning. Water safety is no joke so she did not mention any of this in her letter so it leaves me baffled on the whole story in general because if Lily's not know how to swim she should have had on a life jacket arm bands that blow up anything keep her from going under. I see fault on both the Miley and her sister if that is the case that she doesn't know how to swim. No kid or anyone otherwise should ever be around water that does not know how to swim. I saw it when I was about 9 years old a kid got pushed in the pool on a pool break in Italy drowned cuz he was eating a pack of crackers which was stupid beside the pool and he began to aspirate after he was pushed into the pool.
Thank you, dear Miley, for sharing your story with us.
Here’s the thing: your sister’s fear didn’t come from nowhere, it came from saving Lily’s life. Instead of going silent, flip the script and organize a small private “confidence swim” with just you, Lily, and your sister. Show her Lily is safe, capable, and watched closely by you. Make it low-pressure, maybe even outside her pool at first so she feels in control.
Turning fear into trust together can heal both the hidden trauma and the hurt feelings. Sometimes the best way forward is replacing a bad memory with a better one.
And here’s a story of our reader, Rita, who cared for her dying daughter-in-law, then stepped in to raise her two young grandchildren. But a new woman entered her son’s life, and now she faces a devastating ultimatum: give up the kids or be cut out of their lives forever.
Is she a loving grandmother or a possessive villain? Read on to find out the explosive details of this complex family situation.
Comments
If Lily can slip under the water so could every one of the other kids that were at the party. So if your sister's going to be a paranoid idiot and embarrass your daughter in front of the entire family she needs to not let any of the kids in the pool.
You dont have a sister any more until your kid is treated as an equal. Period. Buy her no gifts, ignore her kids, and keep contact to a minimum until she attones.
She saved Lily's life, and was sworn to secrecy but mom, she is the villain here. She was suppose to be watching Lily. Your sister was scared. Instead of refusing Lily, she should have pulled you aside explained what happened and asked you to keep a close eye on Lily because she is frightened for her. See to it Lily has swim lessons. How old was she? Lily didn't tell you herself about the accident. You need to sit down with both mom and sis, explain to them how upset and hurt you are, and let them know that if anything ever happens regarding your child or children, you want to be the first to know. Then try to get her to have another party with the cousins and try again. if anything Lily will feel better.
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