When Alice, a 20-year-old biology student, tried to lift her pregnant sister’s spirits with a playful list of “fake” baby names, she never imagined one of them would actually stick. What began as a loving joke between siblings quickly spiraled into one seriously awkward naming decision... involving a word that should probably stay in medical textbooks.
In this heartfelt (and hilarious) letter to Bright Side, Alice shares how her well-meaning gesture may have shaped her niece’s identity forever — and why she’s worried that one Google search could leave the poor baby with more questions than answers.
Spoiler: The name sounds kind of pretty... until you realize what it really means. Curious? Read on to discover the bizarre twist behind this fungal faux pas!
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The young woman shared, “My sister and her husband had been seriously stressed over baby names. She was desperate for something unique, even by the baby shower. To lighten the mood, I gave her a list of joke names.
Imagine my shock when she seriously decided to name her baby after a yeast, a fungal disease, only because she found the name unique and ‘fabulous’!”
Alice shared, “My sister was struggling with baby names, desperate to find a unique and perfect name for her daughter. I saw her anxiety and gave her a list of joke baby names to make her smile
and relax. Then, I found out that she seriously named her baby after a fungal infection, and now I’m worried about her daughter’s future.”
The woman added, “I’m a 20-year-old college student studying molecular biology, and my older sister (she’s 27) recently gave birth to her first child. She and her husband had been going back and forth about baby names for months—honestly, it was turning into a bit of a family legend. She was obsessed with finding a name that was totally unique, something no one else had, but also beautiful, meaningful, and ‘just right.’ It got to the point where even as her due date approached, she still hadn’t committed to anything.
Around the time of her baby shower—maybe a little over a month before the baby was expected—I decided to get her a gift that was both thoughtful and a little bit funny. From her registry, I picked out this ridiculously expensive wooden crib that cost nearly $1,000. I figured I could splurge a bit for my future niece. But alongside the crib, I decided to add something a bit more lighthearted—a list of joke baby names.”
The woman shared, “Now, to be clear, my sister and I are really close. We’ve always had this shared, slightly twisted sense of humor—probably a side effect of her being a nurse and me being knee-deep in science classes.
So I compiled a tongue-in-cheek list of ‘baby name suggestions’ that were all things like diseases, pharmaceuticals, bacteria, and weird animal species. Stuff that sounded like names if you didn’t know what they really were. For example: Clindamycin, Giardia, Chlamydia, and yes, even Viagra and Hernia made the cut.
I figured she’d laugh, toss it aside, and move on. But a couple weeks later, she called me, sounding super excited: they had finally decided on a name. When I asked what it was, she said, ‘Malassezia.’
I thought she was still joking. But nope. Dead serious. Malassezia was one of the names on my list—the very list she knew was meant as a joke. It’s the name of a genus of yeast that lives on human skin.”
The woman added, “My sister and I both have personal experience with this particular fungus, as we’re genetically predisposed to getting recurring infections from it. We’ve both had bouts of it since we were teenagers. So the irony of her naming her daughter after this specific microbe was... a lot.
When I pointed out the connection, she said she was fully aware of it. She admitted the list was clearly made in jest, but she insisted she just fell in love with the sound of the name. According to her, it has a ‘mysterious, elegant vibe.’ She also claimed that it was so rare that no one else would know what it meant, so it wouldn’t be an issue.
I wasn’t so sure. Aside from the meaning, the name is difficult to pronounce correctly, and has some... unfortunate elements. The ‘mal-’ prefix literally means ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ in Latin, and it’s a mouthful for any kindergartener. Plus, imagine little Malassezia Googling her name someday and finding a bunch of dermatology articles. That’s one way to kick off an identity crisis.
I suggested alternatives that captured a similar sound or style: Mallory, Azalea, even Anastasia. But she shot them all down without a second thought. She told me, pretty bluntly, that I had no say in the matter. That it wasn’t my child, and I needed to stay in my lane. I get it—ultimately, it is her choice. But I can’t help feeling a bit guilty that my joke may have played a role in what I’m afraid could turn into a lifetime of awkward name explanations for this kid.
I’m still holding out hope that once the baby’s born, she’ll come to her senses and make a last-minute change. But for now, baby Malassezia has entered the world... and I’m the only one who seems even remotely concerned about what that could mean long-term.”
And these are 10 internet geniuses that didn’t let people get seriously mistaken about some weird things they found and gave them a wise explanation about what their finds really mean.
