My Wife Opened My Eyes on How My Parents Have Always Mistreated Me, Now They Hate Us Both

A man, who’s 40 years old, has written a letter to our editorial and told us about his family drama that developed after his wife told him the truth about his own parents. The man was suddenly seeing them under another angle, and so many things have become clear to him about his family. Now, his parents hate his whole family, because they weren’t able to accept the bitter truth and stood on their own position despite the man’s ruined life.

The man is an adult, but he still feels the pressure from his parents.

A man named Nick wrote a letter to our editorial, telling us about his very complicated family situation. He opened his letter, saying that he had somewhat of a revelation recently. Nick confessed that he’s still processing how he feels about it and considering if he should still talk to his parents once more or just let the situation remain as it is.

Nick wrote, «I’m 40 years old, and my parents are 75 and 78. At such an age as I am, the majority of people, I believe, are quite independent from all of their relatives, and they’re responsible for their own life choices. But it’s just not my case. My parents have always hated my wife, Ann, and even my kids, and I had no explanation for it, up until recently.»

Nick explained more about his family background, saying, «I have 11 siblings, and I am the oldest among them. All of them have their own families, and my parents have been just fine with it. But with my family, everything turned another way. Both my mom and dad have been very resentful about me starting my own family, and they always insisted that I need to remain single, that it’s good for me, and they know it for sure.»

The man added, «I moved out from my parents’ house when I was 20, but I still came to visit them very often, and I spent a lot of time at their place. I had not dated much when I was younger. When I was 25 I met Ann, and we started dating. We fell in love very fast and got married a year later.
All of my siblings love Ann. She is a wonderful cook and a perfect hostess. Our house has become a hangout spot. We have now been married for 15 years and have 2 kids.»

Nick shared some of his family background, and his childhood was tough.

The man wrote, «We have 12 kids in the family and my younger sister, Jane, is just a year younger than me. So, since Jane and I were the oldest, we always helped with the smaller kids and the chores around the house. In fact, it was absolutely normal for my parents to refer to us as „Nick and Jane and the kids.“ It all was like Jane and I were not children at all, it was more like we were two other adults living in the house.»

Nick added, «We were homeschooled, so we were home all the time. I would wake up every day, make breakfast for all the kids, then help them get ready for their school or any other activities before I started my own schoolwork. Jane’s job was to help mom at night with the baby, and in our family there was always a baby.»

Jane and Nick did absolutely all chores around the house. Nick revealed that they took turns either cleaning the kitchen or doing the laundry, and there was always a lot of laundry. Nick shared, «I did all the „man’s“ stuff, like mowing the yard and taking out the garbage. As I grew older, I would pass some of these chores to my younger brothers, but it was still my responsibility to control while it was getting done.»

The man added, «When I was old enough to drive, I started to run errands and take all my siblings everywhere. I can’t tell you how many times I took them to play dates or doctor’s appointments. I was also the person who would tuck the smaller kids in bed and tell them fairy tales. These things were all just normal to me, in our family I was more like a dad to the kids than a brother.»

Nothing really changed as time went by.

Nick goes on with his story, saying, «My parents always said how important it was for Jane and I to help with the younger kids because mom and dad were so busy with their own stuff. Multiple times I had to drop what I was doing to take care of something because mom or dad were „advising“ someone.»

Nick wrote, «When I got married, my parents and Jane did not like Ann. Now, Jane and Ann get along just fine, but Ann and my mom still have a very tense relationship. My dad liked my wife at first, but over the past few years, their relationship has also soured.»

Throughout the years, Nick’s situation with his family didn’t improve a lot. The man wrote, «My dad has made comments multiple times how I should keep up my responsibilities. Once, he even called me about one of my younger siblings, who had a fight with mom, and said „Speak to your brother and make him change his attitude! The way he treated your mom is very bad, and you need to make him apologize!“»

Nick said, «Our home is always open to my siblings, but at one point we refused to „discipline“ my younger siblings, and my parents didn’t take it well.»

Nick had a talk with his wife and she told him about her point of view of their family situation.

Nick revealed, «Some time ago, Ann injured her feet and couldn’t walk for some time. When she was already getting better, I was diagnosed with a severe kidney disease. It then turned into a hard kidney failure. I underwent several surgeries and it’s been a rough year.
All this time, my parents completely refused to help, and they were actually trying to make things even harder for us. They promised to help with our kids, but then cancelled at the last minute.»

Nick and Ann had a serious talk about everything, and Ann told her husband what she actually saw in his family. Nick revealed, «My wife told me that she saw how my parents mistreated me all this time. In her opinion, it was because they „parentified“ me in my childhood, and now they hated both Ann and our kids, because they felt they were taking me away from them. When I became occupied with my own family, I helped them less and less, and I didn’t take their burdens and didn’t solve their problems as vigorously as I did it when I was single.»

Ann revealed one more thing to Nick, that made him totally petrified. She said that Nick’s mom once approached her and offered her a big sum of money, and Ann had to leave Nick and take the kids away from him, too. Of course, Ann declined this offer.

Now, Nick is fuming, and he doesn’t want to maintain any contacts with his parents. He tried to talk to them once about everything, but his mom had a meltdown and imitated a heart attack, so he was forced to end the uncomfortable conversation.

Nick closed his letter, saying, «I have never thought that what my parents actually did to me was destructive in so many ways. The things I considered normal were actually ruining me as a personality and took a toll on my family life later.»

And here’s yet another story about a sudden and painful family decision. A woman had to kick her pregnant daughter together with her 6 kids out of her house, because of the way her daughter’s family treated her. Find out more about the woman’s dilemma and her tough relationship with her daughter.