Only One of My Twins Was Invited to a Party, I Won’t Allow This Exclusion but People Keep Disagreeing With Me

The discussion about whether twin children should do everything together or have their lives as individuals has been a hot topic on TikTok. All due to the situation of the woman sharing that one of her daughters was invited to a birthday party, while the other one was not.

She shared what happened & what action she was planning to take.

"I knew this day was to come, but I was so unprepared for it." Kristen started her story. "Last night we received an invitation for one of my two twin girls to go to a birthday party. Yeah, one of the two of them. (...) I have almost five-year-old [identical] twins, they are in TK, and they're in the same class. And the invite came, and it was only for one of them."

"I've been racking my brain on what to do, I knew that this was gonna happen eventually, I just didn't think that it was gonna happen at, you know, this age. Feel like it's an all-or-nothing situation. So either both are going to the party, or none are going to the party."

"I'm gonna message the mom, who I don't know, and just say 'Hi, um, thanks so much for the invite, I wanted to see if it was for one or both of the girls to come, since they're in the same class. Either answer is fine. But just let me know.'

And if the answer is one of them, the answer is gonna be an RSVP of no from us, because I literally cannot think about the hurt that that will cause in the girl that was not invited."

People took issue with her approach.

Someone commented that while the mom says that "either answer is fine", she is still not going to let only one of her daughters go if the answer is no, meaning there is a preferred answer. She replied with, "Let me be explicitly clear here. Either answer is totally fine. If only one of my daughters was invited, no problem, if both girls were invited, no problem. I'm just stating that based on the answer to that question, it will impact our RSVP. Because we are either RSVP'ing for both girls, or no girls.

Why? Because, one, as their mother, my job is to protect them and help build them up to [be] strong capable confident human beings. And I know that it will crush the girl who doesn't go, so so deeply, potentially irreparably at this age, that that is not worth it. I also would bet you almost anything that the sister that was invited, since they're all in school together, would prefer not to go by herself.

Look, if this was 2, 3, 4 years in the future - totally different situation, but I wanna be very clear. It really does not matter what the answer is. It just will impact our RSVP, and I will not tell the mom that when I ask her."

She explained further that this has, most of all, to do with their age, "People told me I'm entitled. They told me that my twins are individuals, and they're going to have their own friends. And look, I totally agree.

There will be a time and place where only one gets invited to things. There's gonna be many times in my life where there's one invited and one is not, but this is for a 5th birthday party. These kids are so young, and they're in the same class, and they're the same gender."

She got the answer from the mom of the birthday kid.

"I texted the mom and I heard back from her!" said Kristen in the closing video regarding the controversy. She explained that in her text, she simply said that even though she was "embarrassed to ask" this, the invite came only for one of her daughters, so she was curious if only one of them is invited or if both are. She emphasized once again that either answer is totally OK.

"And you know what she said back? 'Oh my goodness, of course, both of the girls are invited. They're in the same class, and we know they're such good friends with my daughter. I wonder why the invite didn't go to both of the girls.'"

Kristen also said that she'd been reached out on TikTok by other twins parents to see if a certain service was used to send invites. Apparently, they faced the same problem - only one of the invites could go to one email address - so only one was delivered. Knowing that, the woman could rest assured that it was just a glitch.

Despite that, some people weren't convinced. Comments flooded, including "[The mom] could have felt pressured since you reached out" and "I wonder if she saw your TikTok - her answer would have been mine."

Others were more encouraging, saying "As an identical twin myself, you did the right thing :) Way to go momma!"

Look at these twin siblings whose love and care for each other is so strong, you can feel it through the screen: 15 Photos That Prove Having a Twin Sibling Is a Double Blessing.