People Talk About 20 Mistakes Their Parents Made That They Never Want to Repeat With Their Own Kids
No matter how much our parents love us, they’re only human and they make mistakes like everyone else. When we grow up and have our own kids, it’s up to us to decide what kind of parents we want to be. We remember the best things our parents gave us and try to give even more to our own children. We also remember the things from our childhood that made us feel upset, and try our best to avoid them in our relationship with our own kids.
Here at Bright Side we’ve looked through the Reddit thread devoted to parenting mistakes that people never want to make with their own kids, and here are 20 comments that struck a chord in the hearts of many people.
If they tell me something in confidence, I’m not using that as a topic of conversation with others. Tell my parents anything and everyone knows. My mom just couldn’t understand why I was getting mad when she was telling any yahoo at Walmart the whole story of events leading up to my divorce. lil_adk_bird / Reddit
When I was 15, my dad (an MD) decided to have a “meeting” with me to discuss my future and “help me” make a choice for what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a programmer so bad. So I said programming/software engineering. He went on for over an hour about how that profession is lame and how I’d always be behind the scenes unrecognized. [...] So I said defeatedly, “OK, I’ll be a doctor.” He immediately turned around, smiled happily, and congratulated me. I wasted 3 years of my life on med school before I got depressed and asked my sister to help me convince him to transfer over to engineering school, but my life was never the same. [...] My kids will choose what they want to be. Moe5021 / Reddit
Lecturing. My mom could go on for hours for even minor misbehaviors. Somehow, it usually looped around to how I didn’t keep my room clean, even though the rest of the house was just as much of a mess or worse. When I need to have a stern or serious discussion with my kids, I force myself to make my point in 5 minutes or less. I’ve even said stuff like, “Look, this is taking way too long, just don’t do [disallowed thing] again, okay?” I also apologize if I yell, as soon as I am emotionally able to after an angry outburst. I don’t remember my Mom ever doing that. HawaiianShirtsOR / Reddit
Being unapproachable. Come talk to me any time about anything. Everything can be fixed. dflear / Reddit
Refusing to admit I was wrong. iploggged / Reddit
Being judgmental. I want my kids to know that I truly love them because of who they are and I want them to not feel like they have to hide certain parts of who they are because they are afraid I won’t care about them anymore. Imloudcauseimdeaf / Reddit
Having too many pets in the house. I loved them all, but at the highest point we had 11 cats and 3 dogs, and it was just kind of embarrassing and I never wanted to bring people over to my house. seatiger90 / Reddit
Redoing things they’ve done because it’s not the exact way I would have done it. My mom would re-fold the laundry or remake my bed. It drove me nuts and made me feel like, why even bother trying? liZaSpaghetti / Reddit
Minimizing anything they pursue. jnat05 / Reddit
Not being affectionate. My mom was very distant and not a physically emotional person with me growing up. I realized that if I have kids, I’d want to read to them, hug them, celebrate their accomplishments, and overall have them feel comfortable with sharing their thoughts or feelings with me. Neon_litez / Reddit
When I was little, when my dad was doing anything out in the yard, my brother and I would ask if we could help. The answer was always, “You can help by staying out of the way.” My kids are always allowed to help, so they feel they can contribute, grow a sense of self-worth, and have an appreciation of group effort. BKStephens / Reddit
Bribing them to stay home and not hang out with friends. I became super anti-social and had anxiety when I did almost anything. Kids need to go out and socialize and make mistakes. Maximus_Stache / Reddit
Never actually saying I love you. thegreatkeyboard / Reddit
I’m pregnant with a girl right now. I will never make her feel like she has to be ashamed of her period. And if I have more kids, I won’t force her to be the third parent. sentient-cookie / Reddit
Arguing in front of them. My parents fought a lot around me and I hated it growing up. I do not want to subject my kids to that. I remember one time, when I was about 8 years old, I was in the car with my parents. They were arguing like always, but being trapped in that metal box with both of them screaming back and forth became too much. We stopped at a red light and I unbuckled my seatbelt, got out of the car, and started running. My mom ran out after me and after he pulled over the car my dad did as well. They promised me they wouldn’t fight in front of me again, a promise they broke time and time again until their divorce. I’m hoping I can do a better job of keeping my promise. -eDgAR- / Reddit
They wouldn’t let me buy a video game system. They said it rots the brain. I never understood why watching TV was ok, but not gaming. I’ve played video games ever since I left after high school. My son, daughter, and I all enjoy them. Pac_Eddy / Reddit
Saying, “I told you so.” How are my kids supposed to ask for my help if I just ridicule them for their mistakes? Harley_Atom / Reddit
Being obsessed over their food intake, and their body size from the age of 9. I really hope I can be a help in my daughter’s healthy relationship with food and body image when she grows up, not the cause of an eating disorder. thepsychpsyd / Reddit
Saying, “Because I said so.” I always have a reason why I ask them to do something. If they ask, “Why?” I’ll explain. I’ll explain my reason, my reasons for my reason, various other factors I considered... I can go on for a while. They know this. The other day I asked my 7yo to do something, she said, “Why?’... I thought about it for a sec and I asked, “Is ’because I said so’ a good enough reason?” She thought about it for a sec and said, “Yeah.” For about 3 seconds, I felt like I nailed parenting. a-1yogi / Reddit
Did you find any of the situations that were discussed in the article familiar? What is the best thing your parents gave you or taught you as a child?