9 Things People Do That Reveal Their Bad Manners
How do you figure out if a person has bad-manners? There are some obvious signs like when someone doesn’t say “please” and “thank you,” when they don’t know proper table etiquette, or when they use rude words. But this is just a façade.
Psychologists say that manners are more than that. They are about values that can change, be subjective, and depend on the cultural context.
We at Bright Side have made a list of 9 signs that reveal whether a person has bad manners, even if they are trying to hide it.
People that don’t apologize and don’t admit their faults
Admitting to your faults is not easy. And it’s even harder to do it in public, in front of everyone. But it may be easier for people that were taught to do this in childhood. Bad parenting and bad examples make people get stuck in one paradigm: I’m always right and that won’t change.
- So true on the apologizing part! Once I was visiting family and my uncle got mad at my cousin for something, but a little later on he came and apologized. I was shocked, absolutely flabbergasted that this was possible, a powerful parent figure that actually tells you when they were in the wrong. That uncle isn’t perfect, but I gained a lot of respect for him, and not necessarily envy in a bad way, but somewhat wishful that I could have the same, rather than people pushing blame on you habitually. © 1D2D3D / Reddit
People that don’t clean up after themselves
The habit of living in a slight mess may point to a special state of mind or certain psychological problems. But when it’s not about your personal space, there’s only one conclusion: a person is so selfish that they don’t even think about others. Psychologists claim that people that have clean homes, raise very careful children that keep their homes clean when they grow up.
- I was working at a theater and one of the girls on usher duty told me that a little kid was about to pick up after himself when grandma stopped him and said, “No honey, they have people to do that for us,” while looking straight at the employee.© liquidbob / Reddit
- You invite them over for dinner, make them food, and they don’t wash a single dish or throw away a napkin. This is my biggest problem with one of my friends, it’s so obnoxious. Or he’ll just come over and bring his own food/drinks and leave them in my room. © anonhoemas / Reddit
I was out walking yesterday and a car pulled up to a stop sign, opened their door, dumped their car garbage can on the street, and then sped off. All on a small side street in my neighborhood, while I was waiting to cross the street. © EditingDuck / Reddit
People that use others and don’t value them
Not valuing the support of others can impact our relatives, cause psychological problems in them, and make them look for possible solutions. And there’s one more danger: people become angrier and stop helping others. Parents absolutely have to teach kids to respect the work and help of other people.
- We were staying at my relatives’ place. Their son comes and says, “I think I need a car. Can you buy me one?” I expected them to get really angry, but instead, they said proudly, “He’s such a good boy. He asks for the right things. He just needs a driver’s license. We’ve found enough money for the driver’s lessons. He’ll get a car once get gets a license.” I was shocked. They barely have enough money to live and I don’t understand what they are proud of. © Supervirus / Pikabu
People that openly disrespect some professions
There is no such thing as a useless profession, which makes it silly to be disrespectful toward any job at all. Very often, the attitude toward others depends on the family a person was raised in.
When I was in elementary school, I made a comment that went something like, “he’s just a janitor” and my dad, who was a pretty upper-class man, set me straight about looking down on people. It’s something I always remember and appreciate. © GlitteringRoyal1 / Reddit
I worked at an office supply company while I was in college. Once, this little girl came in with her mother. The kid started pouting and saying she didn’t want to go back to school. The mother pointed at me and said something along the lines of, “If you don’t go to school, you’ll end up working at this place like this guy.” Oh, that made me so mad. I don’t remember exactly what I said in response, but it went essentially like, “Ma’am, I graduate in 3 months from [name of college] and have a job lined up at [local hospital]. I hope your child will also work at a store and learn to be respectful, even though you’re not teaching her that.” © GreatAndPowerfulNixy / Reddit
- I worked at a theatre and a guy who was walking out accidentally spilled like half of his large popcorn directly in front of us. I was pissed because it was opening weekend of a new Star Wars movie, but he apologized which was nice. His wife came up and said, “No honey, don’t apologize to them, it’s their job, creating messes gives them job security.” I just stood there staring at her as she continued to take the bucket and pour the rest of the popcorn on the floor at my feet. My supervisor who was standing next to me saw the whole thing and said, “You don’t give us job security by making messes, just your disgusting self being here gives us job security.” © Always_A_LilConfused / Reddit
People that say or do things that hurt others
These people express themselves in different ways: some can be unpleasant in conversations and can do something you don’t like on purpose. They like it when others are out of their comfort zones, and psychologists recommend avoiding these toxic people. The selfishness of these people is from being spoiled and unable to notice other people’s problems. Experts advise teaching people to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings.
- Person 1: “I get angry if someone touches my hair.” Person 2: *Touches it* “Haha... Are you angry?” © flying_clock / Reddit
- I remember when I told some classmates I had pollen allergies, the first thing they did was to find some to throw in my face. It’s like you told them you can do a magic trick and they want to see it. © Tedrivs / Reddit
People that change their attitude toward someone if they can’t see a profit in them any longer
Supporting a relationship or being friends just because you get some benefits from it is extremely selfish behavior. These “friends” don’t care about what others want. This behavior doesn’t just appear spontaneously: people act according to the behavior models set by their parents.
- I had a friend who kept asking me to do his homework for him and after I kept telling him no, he decided, “I don’t like you anymore” and he left a hurtful message and blocked me. I wasn’t doing what he wanted me to do, so I wasn’t a good friend. © matikray03 / Reddit
- One time that became painfully obvious to me was when I struck up a conversation with a medical student in a cafeteria. I worked as a lab tech in the same part of campus as the medical school. We had a very friendly chat up until he asked me how long I had been a professor. I had never claimed to be a professor, I had simply told him I worked in a particular lab. When I told him I was a lab tech, not a professor, he got angry at me for “wasting his time.” © douche********* / Reddit
People that set rules they don’t follow
Psychologists agree: parents should be examples for their children. If what they say is different from what they do, children will grow up and set rules they won’t follow.
- My dad was a huge believer in the phrase “because I said so.” So children think, “Well, I know I should do it this way, but if nobody is looking it’s ok to do this,” when a kid should really learn to always do the right thing, even when nobody is looking. Please don’t think I’m bashing you or your parenting or something like that, I’m just offering the perspective of a child who heard this more often than not. © ma******** / Reddit
- My mother used to say that to me a lot when I was little. The day I learned the word “hypocrite” at school was interesting... © kerill333 / Reddit
People that can’t take no for an answer
For stronger people, rejection is a life lesson. They learn to see life from a broader perspective and reconsider their own position. This reasonable behavior is mostly based on family values. Spoiled people with bad manners have a hard time dealing with rejection.
- I have a daughter, she’s 5. I bought her a bicycle. We went for a walk and took the bicycle with us. She was happy riding it and when she got tired, we decided to play in the street. I was sitting on the bench when I saw this: a mother and her son come up to my daughter’s bicycle and he sits on it. I said, “Put it back. It’s not yours.” And the mother says, “Mike, take it. Children should share. You can return it after you ride it.” © Batya121 / Pikabu
My nephew’s behavior is disgusting. He controls his mother and she gives into his awful behavior every time. He doesn’t even ask for things, he demands them and if he hears the word no, he physically attacks you. © Chiefpickles / Reddit
The little girl I nanny for will scrunch up her face and start crying every time I tell her no. It’s getting exhausting. © ThatTexas***** / Reddit
People that only think about themselves and their own comfort
It’s really hard to change these people. Psychologists have recommendations on how to communicate with these people in the best way. The main reason why some people act this way is bad parenting. They are spoiled, because they are used to getting everything they want from their parents. So, in their adult lives, they tend to avoid any kind of dissatisfaction or any discomfort.
- I had a friend/roommate that expected me to be available to her whenever she wanted, but was a total flake and not reliable at all if you needed her for something. She once moved a boyfriend into her room without asking if I was cool with it, but if I ever had my girlfriend over she would stomp around the apartment like a child throwing a tantrum and do things like repeatedly throw my girlfriend’s coat on the floor when she passed it in the hall.© alectofurie / Reddit
What are the signs of bad manners that stand out for you? Tell us in the comment section below.