About 50 million people across the globe have fertility issues and struggle to have a baby. To ask a couple when they are having kids is not only insensitive, it is also an invasion of their privacy.
We at Bright Side believe asking couples when they are planning to have a baby is wrong for multiple reasons. Here are some of them:
One of the most common myths surrounding pregnancy is that women over 35 cannot get pregnant, and if they do, their baby will not be healthy. However, in reality, as long as a woman has eggs, she can get pregnant, and her baby will be just fine. Even when you have your baby early, there are risks involved.
According to a report, about 15% of the world’s population struggles with infertility and the number is only increasing. The rate of miscarriages has shot up too. In fact, research is claiming that most pregnancies these days are ending in unfortunate miscarriages, leaving expecting parents depressed. Having a child was never easy, but it is harder now. Even if you mean well, by asking someone when they are having a baby, you might end up hurting them.
Sure, infertility plays a major role but there are other factors that need to be considered before having a baby. The couple’s financial status, the strength of their bond, their health, career goals, and so on. When you are in the mindset to have a baby and you have the time to take care of them properly, this is when you should have one.
There’s a weird stigma around women having a baby after 35 which needs to end. For instance, when Cameron Diaz announced her pregnancy and recently gave birth at the age of 47, the popular internet verdict on it was negative. There is nothing wrong with having a baby through frozen eggs, IVF, or any other means when they are not able to get pregnant naturally. Women don’t need to be reminded about their “maternal clock,” they are fully aware of it.
Just like having a baby, not having a baby should be normalized too. Asking couples who don’t want kids time and again why they don’t want a baby or hitting them up with “you’ll regret it later in life,” is wrong. Understand that just like you have your opinions, they have theirs and you shouldn’t force your views on anyone.
To summarize, asking someone when they are having a baby is NEVER the right question to ask. The couple could be having relationship issues, struggling with infertility, dealing with a miscarriage, or not wanting to have a baby due to personal reasons. You just never know what a person is going through behind closed doors. Steer clear of asking questions which could be the reason that someone goes to bed with tears in their eyes. Be understanding and kind.
Has anyone ever asked you questions like this? How did you deal with it?
Been in a long relationship, just didnt happen. After many years I had 4 with my late husband, my ex none. It was his, he couldnt and he wasnt into having one. I am blessed with another one. We all have our ways of life. All the best for all.
I broke up with my ex and when I thought I would never have kids, I found the love of my life and we have our beautiful kids.
congratulation
That's such a great article. It's really important to know where to stop and respect other people's choices. It didn't happen for me to have kids at 30+ but I love my sister's kiddos
Even though I consider myself too young to have kids, one of my best friends just had her little boy at age 22. It's just someone's choice. We should respect other people's privacy and never interfere...
One of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 27. She soon recovered but she doesn't want to have kids and risk her kids getting seek too. So every time someone asks she feels really uncomfortable. It's rude, please stop doing that!
My mom had m when I was 23.. now as I matured she can't stop asking for grandchildren ?
I think those who ask it, just lack the sense of tact, honestly.
I guess if it's your family asking this, its all right ?
well yeah, when it's about them, it's fine. They are getting older and just want to see the family grow.
But when some strangers are being too nosy asking unnecessary questions - I find it straight up annoying
My mother is an infertility specialist and she shares some stories with me too...there are various reasons either health related or career related due to which couples can't have baby even if they try...and when someone is becoming too nosy it effects their mental wellbeing which is sad.
Even if someone is not having kids it's totally their choice. No one should ever intervene in these matters.
i married the love of my life at the age of 34.. people around me telling me to conceived immediately. were both working and see each other like forthrightly. were just tired of people telling them that its not their business anymore.
