Why You Tend to Date the Same Type of Person
It’s normal when a relationship ends and you decide to date a different type of person, researchers say. However, there could be a problem because there’s a tendency to continue dating someone who looks like your ex. Your partners may look similar, but according to science, something deeper hides in our preferences.
We at Bright Side got curious about why we tend to date the same type of person and we would like to share some of our findings with you.
Current and ex-partners tend to have similar personality traits, above similarities in appearance.
Researchers say that there are some passive factors that can affect picking the same type of personality for dating. You may like attending certain social events or working in the same professional field. For example, Kate Hudson loves music and she was married to The Black Crowes front man Chris Robinson in 2000. Then she fell in love again with a rocker Matt Bellamy and got engaged to him.
Also, there are some other active factors. In particular, you can seek out and like partners who are extroverted and have the same open facial expression, so you attend parties where you can meet these people. You make the circle of your choices smaller and ignore other options by setting unconscious preferences.
We pick the same type of partners because it’s easier and less stressful for us.
We pick friends and partners on a basis of the same interests and the same attitude toward life. It even turned out that couples with the same sense of humor have stronger relationships: “When you’re operating within old, familiar patterns, you don’t need to think about what you’re doing. Your body is wired to do familiar things without having to think about them. This leaves your mind free to wander and to de-stress.”
So, it’s less stressful for us when we keep dating the type of person that we know well.
But psychologists also discussed if going the same route can be effective in buying groceries, these mental shortcuts can be convenient in relationships but may not always lead to a good thing.
As an example, they cite your environment. You could’ve been surrounded by violent people, and because of that, as an adult, you will already know how to communicate with them and draw the wrong conclusions that this irrational way of life is comforting for you.
There is a tendency toward dating someone similar to yourself but preferences may change.
Researchers made one curious finding. They collected the data of 332 participants for a long period of time and also asked participants to identify with statements like: “I am usually modest and reserved,” “I am interested in many different kinds of things.” It turned out that their responses showed that the current partners of participants detailed themselves in ways similar to ex-partners.
We do sometimes resemble our partners but this doesn’t mean that we can’t change patterns. The study noted that extroverts were more open to dating different personality types.
Which common features did you notice between your romantic partners? Would you like to try to date a different type of personality?