20 People Who Decided Not to Have Children and Are Proud of It
For some people, having a child is a logical step in life. However, many others think life can be just as beautiful without kids. Of course, being a topic with such divided opinions, people who don’t want to bring kids into this world often receive unwanted comments because of their decision.
Bright Side compiled some of the comments that people who decided not to add anyone else to the family have heard at least once.
- When my current manager found out I don’t want kids, his response was, “Well, you’re young and still have time to change your mind.” When I told him my husband and I wanted to retire early, he said, “But why would you retire early if you don’t have kids? What would you even do?” There’s more to life than going to a job every day and taking care of kids. © Chipotleislyfee / Reddit
- When people who have children start talking about them, they suddenly look at you and say: “And when are you going to have children?” And when you answer that you don’t want to have children, they tell you that that’s selfish, and they ask who will take care of you later. They also say you need to have children to have your own family, or that you say that because you are too young.
- My last ex was like this too. We only dated for 2 and a half months, thankfully. Toward the end, he sent me a text about how we could “get a surrogate so that we could both be happy” because he could have a biological child for us to raise, and I wouldn’t have to give birth (not the point, bud). Then, when we discussed it a couple of days later in person, it came out that he didn’t think I meant it as strongly as I did when I said I didn’t want kids. He thought I just didn’t want to give birth.
And when I tried to point out that we had discussed this, he tried to imply that I was lying about the content of the previous conversation because “Well, you didn’t say that clearly enough.” And when I asked him point-blank if he was okay with never having kids if he stayed with me, his response was, “I guess I’m fine with that.” Nope, nope, nope. I’m not tolerating an “I guess” on a topic like this. So I bounced. He did not respond to that very well. He tried to contact me again a month after the break-up to talk. When I said that if he was trying to get back together, it wouldn’t happen, he got super angry. Saying that I was making way too big of a deal on the kid thing because he didn’t actually care about having kids. That was definitely not accurate. © ThreadWitch / Reddit
- My mother-in-law always tells me that she wants grandchildren while she is still young, so she can play with them and take care of them, so I should hurry; it’s about time. Shouldn’t I be the one to decide if and when she will have them?
- My most significant factors in not wanting kids are SLEEP and SPONTANEITY! When telling my coworker this, she’s like, “It’s not as hard as you’d think it is.” Then, a couple of weeks later, she comes in talking about “the baby is sick and can’t sleep” or “the baby was up at 6 am today” (we work nights), and she has to plan stuff way in advance, and she can’t handle her car issues because she has no money because of the baby.
Luckily my sister, my mom, and my close friends who have kids are very honest with me about what their lives are like, and they don’t blame me for not wanting kids! The only people who seem to REALLY want my husband and me to start pumping them out are my coworkers, which is extra weird because, like... they would never even see my hypothetical baby. © Artic*nho*1738 / Reddit
- I had an experience that annoyed me apartment hunting last year. The lady showing my boyfriend and I the apartment kept prying on why we would need a second bedroom and saying things like if it’s just the two of us, why isn’t a 1 bedroom enough. Even after explaining we both worked from home, she kept trying to push the smaller units. I guess the building has less than 2 bedrooms, so they like to keep them open for people with kids? As crazy as it sounds, people without kids also like space. © South-Housing-748 / Reddit
- I have an aunt who recommended I go to a specialist. For her, it’s because you’re not okay if you don’t want to have a partner or children. I think she thought of it as being immature and insecure. I’m not offended if she questions my mental health, but there were better grounds than “I don’t want to start a family.” Anyway, not to put her down, she’s a sweet person. She was just raised with different values.
- I overheard my sister-in-law telling my brother-in-law that we should write everything in our will to them because “We need it; they don’t have kids (on both sides). What do they need it for?” They’re trying to get my father-in-law to facilitate the conversation. If they think you’re entitled to my money, don’t be shy. Tell me to my face! The joke is on her because my side of the money is locked up in a prenup. Our will, as it stands now, a nice sum is set aside for education, down payment, etc., for my nieces. Most of it is being distributed to charities. Planned Parenthood is on the list! The audacity and entitlement make my head spin! Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean it automatically goes to them. © jabmwr / Reddit
- I was getting to know a (female) doctor my partner used to work with. She asked about my dream job, and I responded that I don’t dream of labor; my dream is to be financially secure enough that I can retire ASAP. “Retired? Do you mean at home with babies?” “...Um, no. Retired means I have enough savings not to work anymore while living comfortably.” © PM_ME_PDIDDY / Reddit
- Yes, I had people who say, “You will never save enough to have a baby, so just have one anyway.” I also had people shame and laugh at me for having pets and treating them well. Then those petless people finally got a pet and treated it like a baby too. I was always amazed and wondered how some people afford hair, lashes, nails, etc., every month, but I think we all prioritize what we want to spend our money on. I have other hobbies, so I put my money there instead. © knitpurr / Reddit
- My significant other went to his father for advice when I told him I didn’t want kids. He was young and had not given much thought to the topic yet. His father’s advice was that his mother didn’t want kids either, but then she changed her mind! What kind of advice is that? Luckily, he came around to my side. I mean, the hundreds of reasons not to have kids are so compelling. I just don’t see how anyone could NOT be convinced to lead a glorious child-free lifestyle. I told my significant other within a month cause I didn’t want to waste our time if he really wanted them. If he really wanted them, it just wouldn’t work out. © BWanderful / Reddit
- I’ve recently started dating again, and the amount of men my age (35) with kids is disheartening. I started talking to one guy, and he mentioned having kids, so I told him we weren’t compatible. He told me I was being negative, asking how I knew we weren’t compatible, etc. Well, cause you have kids and I don’t, I don’t want any. I had another guy tell me he had a 22-month-old. He has not mentioned anywhere in his profile about having kids, and then when I tell him it’s a no for me, he resorts to insults. I’m honestly happy with my life and where I am, and I refuse to settle for anyone who wouldn’t add to my life. I’m complete. If I die alone with my cats, that’s better than settling for a miserable life. © Donthurlemogurlx / Reddit
- My friend (30F) is apparently very invested that I (30F) have a child ASAP. She claims it is the hardest but most rewarding thing she has ever done. If my husband and I were even to try to have a child, it would be very expensive due to fertility issues. Assuming we got pregnant, we’d have to pay for the baby and all its expenses for 18+ years. I told her I did not want to be in debt just from trying to get pregnant alone. Also, I love having the freedom to do what I want when I want. I am too “selfish” to sign up for that lifelong responsibility.
My friend reassures me that children are not that expensive. However, she complains that no childcare can accommodate her work schedule and that she cannot afford it... says the woman who gets her hair, nails, eyebrows, and lashes done regularly. I also do, but I don’t have to budget for supporting a child. She complains about this constantly yet still wants me to hop on board the crazy train? No, thank you. Do anyone else’s friends contradict themselves when trying to convince you to have children? © BetEqual2993 / Reddit
- Coming up in a year since my husband and I bought our first house! 4 beds, 2.5 baths. I absolutely love it. We consider ourselves very lucky and grateful. Since then, when the topic comes up in casual conversation, I get the same response from breeders. It doesn’t help we’re the only child-free couple on the street. “Oh, so much space, making room for kids?” “That’s a lot of space for just the two of you.” “What about families with children that needed that home?” I’m sorry, I wanted space for separate offices and a space for visitors. Oh, the reactions I get when I say I turned the den into a cat room. “A whole room just for your cats!?” “Must be nice to live that way” Yes. Yes, it is. It would also be nice to share accomplishments without judgment. © Unsolicited_CatPics / Reddit
- When I was past my thirties, my dad, in an eventful tone, said to me, “I’m very worried about you. You haven’t married, you haven’t started a family, you don’t have children. I’m not going to be happy until I see you happy.” I could not hide my surprise. I could not believe what he had told me. I never considered that one should marry or have children to be “happy”; I still do not consider it necessary, although I am happy with my partner and our dogs. I love children. I like working with them, teaching them, and playing with them, but my decision not to have children is still steadfast. It has nothing to do with whether or not I will be a good father. There are already too many of us in this world, and if we all wanted to have children, we would be accelerating the road to self-destruction.
- I was told at an old job that I’d be such a great mom because I was so patient and kind to coworkers, especially the new ones who had A LOT of questions. The difference is I can get away from my coworkers, but kids are a different story! My mom said I would be a fantastic mom— IF I wanted to be one, because ultimately, I wouldn’t be if my heart wasn’t in it. My mom gets it, and I appreciate her so much for it. © Brain_Stew12 / Reddit
What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of not having children?