10 Amazon Products With Uproarious Reviews That Will Make You Hit the Buy Button

year ago

89% of people read reviews before buying a product. This time you don’t need to surf the internet searching for the words you can rely on. We’ve done this job for you and chosen the best reviews that will smash all your doubts and buy something you didn’t know you need until now.

Bright Side prepared 10 reviews that will make you add the products to the shopping cart while wiping tears of laughter.

1. Prank your family with plastic babies.

Promising review:

I bought these so I could hide them everywhere for my fiancé to find. At first, he thought it was a charming new bit of mine. He thought I only had one or two of these tiny plastic babies. He thought wrong. Hearing his deep exhausted sigh followed by ’oh my god’ because he’s found baby #175 has brought me more joy than I could ever describe. The fear in his eyes when he opens anything because he is expecting a small plastic baby has produced more serotonin than you can imagine. He is a broken man. I have destroyed his hope of living a life free of tiny plastic babies. We will be finding these for the next 70 years. I will purchase these again. — Jennifer

You can buy tiny plastic babies here.

2. Canvas clock that makes you do the bad things.

Promising reviews:
After purchasing this, the time has taken on a whole new meaning in our house. As I type this, it is currently 5 past Pat’s chin. Lovely. — grogcat
I have one of these in each of my good rooms. I like it best at around 10 to 2 or 10 past 11. That’s when the hands cover her eyes. When they don’t see she tells me to do bad things. — TeeKay

Get the clock here.

3. Yodeling pickle that will beat your insomnia.

Promising review:
Bought this to bring some joy and yodeling goodness to the life of a close friend of mine, and it has indeed been life-changing. He claims a new zest for life, says he is sleeping better, and hasn’t looked back since this little chap came yodeling into his life. I purchased this to settle a ’pointless off’ contest that got a little out of hand... But the joke is on me now that he informs me of the countless uses and opportunities unlocked by this iconic singing vegetable. — Richard

Get the pickle here.

4. Scissors that are so sharp they can make you cry.

Promising review:
They’re scissors. You put one blade on either side of something you wish to cut, squeeze the handles together, and it cuts. Super sharp, too. They cut almost as precisely as my father’s comments about my career path. — Kelly

You can buy the scissors here.

5. Body shaper that is able to pull even 2 stomachs in.

Promising review:
BayBAY!!!!!! Listen, get this shaper and stop playing with your life. When you get it in that tiny bag it’s gonna scare you if you a thick gal like me lol. I was sure I ordered a medium on accident it was so small looking. Then I tried it on after checking the size... I have never been so sucked and tucked and upright in all my days lol. Listen hunny it pulled BOTH my stomachs in ok. BOTH. MY. STOMACHS. I’m ordering it in every color and style they got. Idk what kinda voodoo magic shaper this is but those name brand things ain’t got nothing on these. — ElleSoFresh

You can buy the magic shaper here.

6. Invisible Bilbo Baggins you’ll never find.

Promising review:
I bought this action figure but have literally no idea whether it arrived. I couldn’t see it. I think my son might have been playing with it, but maybe he was just making eerie passes in the air with his two hands. This makes it the best action figure ever. Or the worst. I think we should be told. — Amazon Customer

Get invisible Bilbo here.

7. If only one iceberg read it...

Promising reviews:
As an iceberg, I read this with a tear in my eye and thought if only my great-great grandfather had read this. — Mr. J. Scott

I was quite frankly terrified of stepping out of my room for the fear of a huge ship falling on me. My girlfriend ordered this book for my 30th birthday and boy! Has it changed my life!! I’m still terrified of huge ships but this book has taught me tricks to avoid the likely places where you could find huge ships. I’ve lost weight, and have started eating healthy again! All thanks to you this marvel of a book! — N. Rajesh

Stay safe with this book.

8. Yellow sponges to clean your home & spend lonely evenings with.

Promising review:
If I could give these sponges a million stars I would. I love them so much I couldn’t even bring myself to use them. I drew faces on them, they are now my friends and I have a little over 40 sponges! I am soon ordering more. I LOVE THESE SPONGES! — Juliennes

Get sponges here.

9. Crafting With Cat Hair book that is bought as a joke but turns out to be a genuine guide.

Promising review:
I purchased this book as I was tired of people sitting too near me on public transport. — Rico

Get the book here.

10. Tongue cleaner that will uncover your pink treasure.

Promising review:
[Short version]: BUY THIS SCRAPER. It will take years off your tongue and add them back upon your life.
[Long version, and it’s totally worth it!]: Before today, my tongue had (unknowingly) never seen the light of day. That’s right. For YEARS, my tongue had been a whiteish-covered organ. It was more white-covered than pink. It looked like it had been born permanently stained with streaks of vanilla ice cream (as long as I can remember).

I thought I was just born “different”. But deep down, I secretly envied the wet, pink, glistening tongues of others. Over the years and with countless attempts of desperation, I scrubbed and scrubbed my tongue with the fronts and backs of toothbrushes, all to no avail. I resigned myself that I would always be a freak, I would always be the outcast with a white-splotched tongue.
Until tonight.

I skeptically opened the tongue cleaner and went into the bathroom. Sure, I had read all of the other ecstatic reviews, but I was different. Momma didn’t raise a boy with no pink tongue, no sir, and there was no way it would change now.
I almost chuckled at the absurdity of even trying this, as I raised the scraper into my mouth. “I’ve been through this so many times, so many years...”, I thought.

I opened my mouth and rested the scraper at the back of my tongue, giving myself one last look, almost as if to say “It’s ok, Stewart, one day others will judge you not by the color of your tongue but by the flavor of your breath.” But then I remembered that my breath was probably caused by my tongue, and cried.
I shook my head as I looked at myself, giving me lonesome one last sorrowful look, trying to let myself down easy... and started scraping.

As I pulled the gentle scraper down across my tongue, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“What is that??” I asked myself. It continued piling up on the scraper, I dare not describe its feature. More and more, it continued to pile up... Was not my tongue in its barren and dry state just a moment ago? Wherefore doth this infernal material spring forth from? What manner of sorcery does this device command?!

The scraper rolled off my tongue, my eyes following it down the mirror as I lowered it to the sink, washing off what I thought must have been residual dragon saliva, hiding in the nether caves of my taste budduals.
I looked back up to the mirror, into the nefarious cave of the mouthlock, the home of the white wildebeast.
“What is this.... Are not my eyes deceiving me?? Dothfore I not see a pinkish-red plain that was therefore not there before???!”

I was freaking out of my mind. I put the scraper back in and started scraping like a bug-eyed Californian goldminer in 1848, giggling gleefully as I hopped up and down with childish delight. Scrape, scrape, scrape — the sins of my tongue coming off with each gentle scrape.

I probably scraped for almost five minutes. When I finally cleared it all, I stood there in front of the mirror with my big ol’ tongue hanging out like Lassie’s on a hot summer day. I was laughing and shaking my head, watching that big beautiful pink tongue that had shamed me for so many years laugh and play in his pinkish-red wonderland.
Maybe I’m going a bit overboard here. But I just can’t get enough — I have literally been going into the bathroom JUST to unfurl my tongue before the mirror so I can admire it, like rolling out the red carpet to Nirvana, watching it sway back and forth like the pendulum of the divine, with myself still wide-eyed and wondrous of the miracle of Dr Tung.

I’m anxious for tomorrow, when I’ll surely be over-zealous in showing off my new “look” to others. I even catch myself pondering how I can garner as much exposure time for my new “pride” as possible. I have visions of me jumping up on my coworkers desks and rolling out my best “Gene Simmons”.
I then imagine my colleagues leaning over to each others’ cubicles, whispering their shocked surprise -— “Goodness gracious, have you seen Stewart today? Something’s different about him... Something’s different, alright, and whatever it is, I LIKE IT.” — Stewart Clyde

Get the magic tongue scraper here.

Do you write reviews for products you buy? What was the last product you bought online?

Bright Side gets commissions for purchases made through links in this post.

Preview photo credit Amazon, Jennifer


Get notifications

Related Reads