10+ Startling Things People Learned About Their Partner Post-Marriage

We are supposed to know everything about our partners before marriage. But what happens when you find a shocking secret after tying the knot? From secret histories or baffling habits—here are 11 foundation-breaking truths people have shared online about their partners.

• My wife was actually 7 years older than she claimed to be. I was mildly surprised when I found out. And it wasn’t as easy to tell as one might think. She’s Asian and tiny (about 4’10″) and looks young for her age.
  The topic never really came up. It wasn’t until we were doing some paperwork for the children that the discrepancy came to light. © Unknown author / Reddit

• I married a woman I’d dated for just five months. Everything seemed perfect—until three weeks after the wedding, I found a stack of mail with another last name. Curious, I opened one, and my heart nearly stopped. It was from a lawyer, outlining thousands of dollars in debt tied to her previous marriage.
  She had never once mentioned being married before, let alone that she was still legally and financially connected to her ex. When I confronted her, she broke down crying and admitted she’d hidden it because she was terrified I wouldn’t marry her if I knew the truth.
  Now I feel completely blindsided. I love her, but I can’t shake the feeling that I was tricked into a marriage under false pretenses.

• Before we married, I met his four siblings. They are all average people, decent jobs, average houses in the suburbs. We bought our first (average suburban) house three months after getting married. While the siblings were reminiscing about their childhood home, I found out they grew up in a 4-story mansion with an elevator (and lots of other amenities) in a very upscale neighborhood in another city. Their parents put them all through college, then lovingly showed them the door. They have famous, very wealthy people in the family tree. But they all choose to live just average lives. I grew up in a very poor family (was called “at risk” by the school system), so this blew me away! © SagebrushID / Reddit

• He has aphantasia. It’s a neurological condition where you can’t recall memories as pictures or create images in your mind. He cannot and has never been able to picture what he is reading in a book or, say, conjure an image of a forest or person in his mind. He can’t imagine my face when I’m not there, though it’s not like he forgets it.
  I’m the total opposite and always picture everything in my mind — I’m an artist and my job would be hard if I couldn’t — so to me, it’s like in a way he’s blind. It’s just a different way of experiencing life, I guess, but I was really sad for him when I found out. © Nyx_Shadowspawn / Reddit

• My wife passed away. At the funeral I met her ex-husband, her 22-year-old son who she hadn’t seen for 19 years, and her other 20-year-old son who she gave up for adoption (from a different father). I never knew any of them existed until the night before the funeral, when her best friend asked if I minded if they came.
  Yes, it was awkward. She had never spoken of them. The closest she came to admitting it was when we were dating, and she said, “Don’t believe a word my sister says, she tells everyone that I’m divorced and had two kids.” 17 years later, I found out that was the truth. © OrdinaryJose / Reddit

• We’ve been married for over 10 years. I found out last week that he was married before and that the divorce from his first marriage was never filed, so my marriage to him is not valid. © SA_Girl_ / Reddit

• She had two other kids that she had abandoned. I had two sons with her and after my youngest was about a year old, she bolted. We didn’t see her for almost 10 years. © chaiulud / Reddit

• I married my wife after a year of dating, thinking we were completely honest with each other. About eight months into our marriage, she decided to take one of those at-home DNA tests for fun.
  When the results came back, I noticed something strange: she was listed as having a rare genetic condition that I didn’t know about. Curious, I asked her about it. She froze, and then admitted she had known for years but never told me—claiming she didn’t want it to define her or scare me away.
  I was stunned. Not only did this affect our future plans about having kids, but it also made me question what else she might have kept hidden.

• I married a man I’d been dating for 3 months because on our second date he broke down and confided that he was dying of terminal leukemia. He said he wanted to make the most of his remaining months and marry me. Being 23 and dumb, I believed him without asking for any proof, and said yes. My family all rallied behind me, believing him to be a dying man, and threw us an incredible wedding even though they barely knew the guy.
  He refused treatment, playing the “wish to die with dignity” card, and finally after 4 months of marriage and no decline in his health, I confronted him. It was a lie, an elaborate lie. © puppies_in_bowties / Reddit

• I married a woman I’d dated for just five months. Everything seemed perfect—until three weeks after the wedding, I found mail addressed to another last name. Curious, I opened one, and my heart nearly stopped—it was from a lawyer saying her son’s father was suing for full custody.
  I had no idea she even had a child. She explained they’d never married but shared custody, with their son living mostly with his grandmother. She’d been quietly sending money to support him. Now that she’d married me, the father was trying to take full custody, claiming her new marriage changed things. She’d kept it from me, worried it would ruin what we had, but now she needed my support—and I promised to stand by her.

• I’ve been married for almost 12 years, together more than 16, and found out roughly three years ago that my wife has/still suffers from an eating disorder. It was so bad a few years ago that she had a nervous breakdown and we sent her to a program to cope with the disease. While there are relapses and I expect she will deal with this the rest of our lives together, she’s doing great. She’s been dealing with this disease since high school, and mostly because she dealt with many insecurities as a result of my mother-in-law’s inability to give positive feedback. She hid this from me for years, and while many may think that bulimics do this for the sake of vanity, I assure you it is not. My wife, while beautiful on the inside and out, still deals with this daily....even a few days ago. We have three children and overwhelm them with praise about inner/outer beauty to ensure the same mistake isn’t made again. © afm0455 / Reddit

Being in a committed relationship comes with its own difficulties, and not every hidden fact is meant to hurt. Some people conceal the truth to protect their partner from harm. Still, the weight of these secrets can grow too much, prompting many to share their confessions online.