14 Stories From Cleaners That Are Wilder Than Any Movie Script

Get ready to change your mind if you think a cleaner’s job is just a dull routine with a rag and a vacuum. Sometimes, they become unwitting witnesses to others’ lives, filled with surprises and peculiarities. The heroes of this article went to clean someone’s place but ended up in the epicenter of curiosities, absurd requests, and astonishing discoveries.

• I’ve been working in cleaning for a couple of years. I’ve seen it all: from gum on the ceiling to plump marble cherubs covered in ink drawings. But what I definitely didn’t expect to see was a juicy lipstick kiss mark on the window glass in the men’s restroom. © Overheard / Ideer
• A huge house. Worked there for 2 days, traveling from one end of the city to the other. The amount of work was such that not only did I have to clean everything up after the renovation, but I also had to put things in their places (unpacking boxes after the move). I completed it.
  The client tells me, “I’ll pay you 75% of the amount now, and we’ll transfer the rest tomorrow,” supposedly didn’t have enough money on the card. I agreed and left. Payment didn’t come the next day, nor in a couple of days, a week, or 2 weeks. He didn’t reply to messages or pick up calls.
  I had to ask my husband to call the unreliable client and ask what’s going on. Naturally, the client picked up right away (since it wasn’t my number). Hearing a male voice, he immediately promised to pay. He did pay, but only after another few weeks and some more calls. © el.v.is.90
• I work as a cleaner. I’m always either fed or offered coffee. I clean an average of 6 hours and try not to get distracted.
  Today, they called and ordered cleaning. We discussed everything, and the client asked, “What can I cook for you?” I said, “Don’t worry about it.” We settled on coffee. © s_detmi_doma

• I was cleaning a professor’s apartment while he was away. Silence, dim light, antiques everywhere. Then from the locked bedroom came a hoarse male voice: “Help! Let me out of here!” My heart sank.
  Grabbed the mop, tiptoed closer, threw the door open, and there was a huge grey parrot sitting in a cage. The bird eyed me with one eye and, in the professor’s voice, demanded, “Pour me some tea!” It turned out the bird was just bored without its owner. That evening, I definitely needed some calming drops.
• I would regularly clean for a certain girl. Her apartment was, to put it mildly, not the cleanest, but work is work. She was usually alone at home.
  One day, while I was scrubbing the stove in the kitchen, a woman came in—it turned out to be her mother-in-law. She looked at me suspiciously. The girl quickly started to explain, “Oh, this is my friend! She was frying potatoes here, splattered everything with oil, and now she’s cleaning it up.”
  I’m standing there with a rag, utterly baffled. Really? After her mother-in-law left, the girl approached me, apologetic. “I’m so sorry. It’s just that I tell her I do everything myself. If she finds out I pay someone for cleaning—I’m toast.”
• I work as a cleaner. I got an order, and my boss immediately warned me, “The family is strange; be on guard.” Well, I thought, alright, I’ve seen all of it.
  I arrived, everything seemed fine, and I was cleaning quietly. It was time to clean the parents’ bedroom. The lady of the house came up, pointed upwards, and said, “Wipe there thoroughly!”
  I looked up and was stunned: there was a TV on the wall. Not one, but two! Right next to each other. I couldn’t help myself and asked why they needed 2 screens. She looked at me like I was an idiot.
  “Don’t you get it? So we don’t interrupt each other’s viewing!” Sure, brilliant. And the fact that they’re 4 inches apart and the sound will blend into a mess apparently doesn’t count.

• I was cleaning a luxurious country house. The ceilings were high, the moldings were exquisite, and it was beautiful. I looked up, and in the corner hung a massive cobweb with a spider sitting peacefully. I took a mop to swipe away this mess.
  Then the owner dashed in and screamed, “Stop! Don’t you dare touch Valerian!” I almost fell off the ladder. Turns out, this spider “brings money into the home” for them. Well, I had to leave Valerian be.
• I had a lady that was pleasant most of the time, sit in her recliner watching me while I mopped the floor. As I was mopping, she said, “You missed a spot,” all snotty. I said nicely, “Oh here, I’ll get it,” as I mopped the area again.
  She said, “You still didn’t get the spot, but that’s okay; you always miss things!” I knew in that moment that I was quitting that day, kept my cool, and finished up. I put all my stuff in their garage, so it was a clean getaway after I quit. I told her I was done.
  As she was coming to give me my check, she said, “That was quick; are you sure you got everything?!” I said, “Yes, I got everything; this will also be my last day, it’s not working out...” She had a grim smile on her face and said that she thought I’d like to know if they weren’t pleased with my cleaning. She handed me the check, and I never had to deal with her ever again. © Livid-Cricket7679 / Reddit
• I work as a cleaner. Once, I went to a job for a family with kids. I was cleaning, and then it was the bathroom’s turn. I entered, and oh my, all the tiles were covered in scribbles. Well, I took out my strongest cleaning products and was about to scrub scribbles away.
  Then the owner burst in with wide eyes and yelled, “Stop! Are you planning to erase this?!” I froze. She continued, “This is what Ian and Alex drew when they were kids! We haven’t touched it for many years, and we forbid anyone to wash it off!”

• I had someone follow me around while I was cleaning. It was horrible. She asked us to mop her floors 3 times.
  8 days after the clean, she texted me and wanted a refund because she wasn’t happy and “didn’t get what she paid for.” She sent me photos for proof, but thanks to Apple, I could see that the photos were taken 45 minutes before she texted me.
  I didn’t give her a refund, and she left a poor review on my business page. She was insane. © 4_neenondy / Reddit
• I once had a guy book for a deep clean. He asked me to focus on the shower. I kid you not, half of it looked like a mountain of mold. It had actually textured long ago to where it looked like lava; it was insane.
  He was actually still using the shower too; I couldn’t believe it. I told him to get a new shower; there was nothing I could do. © anonymoushuman98765 / Reddit
• I work in cleaning, and it really stresses me out when clients who are sick order cleaning. I always ask if anyone in the house is ill because the job requires staying at the client’s place for 6-10 hours. We just arrived, started cleaning, got about halfway through, and I hear all the signs of illness from the client—just fantastic! © eliza_a_a_a_a_a

• A lady had hip surgery and asked us to do a bunch of work we don’t do. I almost said yes until she said this to me not once but twice, “My husband wants to know why I hired someone who won’t do what I want them to do!!” Bye-bye!
  Another rich jerk stomped behind me, barefoot in his ugly checkered robe, as I opened the windows because I couldn’t breathe (it was so hot), so he could close them. “I have the air on!” No!! He had the furnace on! Bye-bye! © Several-Window1464 / Reddit
• I got to a client’s house, and there were no less than 50 cleaning ads. Coupons, fliers, business cards, etc. I cleaned and left them a note to choose a new housekeeper from “the pile.” They actually said to me, “We’re sorry to see you go.” What? © Bitter_Sea6108 / Reddit

And these stories prove that a cleaner’s job is about more than just dusting.