15+ Times When Smart Technologies Got Out of Control

Commercials often claim that modern technology will make our lives easier and more convenient. But who would have thought that all these robot vacuums, smart speakers and other benefits of civilization are capable of bringing their owners almost to a nervous breakdown. This is what happened to the heroes of this article. Spoiler: everything ended well, and most authors of these stories laughed heartily at themselves.

• My parents have a smart speaker in the kitchen. My mother was embroidering one night with a movie playing in the background. An actress said emotionally, “Listen, Lora, you’re getting married, aren’t you?” And then Mom got really scared because someone else’s voice answered from somewhere behind her, “Really? To whom?”
  A couple of seconds of horror. Mom turns round, there’s no one in the kitchen and only the smart speaker is glowing. © Ziraiel / Pikabu
• Sitting with a friend in a café, she’s complaining that her doggy decided to guard the slipper, growled at all family members and even tried to bite them. In the evening, I was bombarded with ads about dog training courses. Thank you, Mikey. © FuAlka / ADME

• I always laughed at people who give names to their appliances. All my friends’ robot vacuums have names. But I’m a normal person, I’m not naming a vacuum.
  It lived without a name for a week. Then he ripped out the modem wire, found some bag, rustled it in the corridor for a long time, finally somehow got inside, got tangled up and started screaming. And that’s it, now it’s Kitty! © Overheard / Ideer
• I was watching a movie on my laptop, paused it and went to take a bath. So, I’m lying in the bathtub and hear that the movie turned on. Well, I think, it happens.
  Then it stopped again. I got quiet and started to examine the bathroom for weighty objects. And then the movie turned back on. I broke into a cold sweat in the hot bath.
  Later I discovered what happened. While I was watching the movie, I was drinking coffee and left some biscuits on the table near the laptop. The dog started stealing them and walked over the touchpad. © lexxlm / Pikabu
• I’m having a robot uprising. My ex-boyfriend was setting up a smart home for me: robot vacuum, humidifier, lights. We broke up, I blocked him everywhere, but he won’t give up trying to get me back.
  Tonight my vacuum turned on, then the humidifier, then the lights. I turn them off and they turn back on. There’s nowhere to go in my studio. He’s the administrator of the smart home account.
  I had to cut off the power in the flat. I’m looking for a way to reset the settings. Persistent bloke. © Overheard / Ideer
• Korean schools forbid students to keep their phones during school hours. A student comes to class in the morning and hands their mobile phone to the teacher, and takes it back after classes. My daughter decided to just not take her new phone to school so she wouldn’t lose it.
  But other girls wanted to cheat and started hiding gadgets in their bags, books and pockets, and lied to the teacher that they also left them at home. For a day or 2, the teacher tolerated it, still noticing the mobiles and tablets. But one morning, seeing the children’s snide faces, the teacher shouted loudly, “Siri!” A chorus of “Yes, I’m listening!” rang out from almost every desk. © Mari Potyomkina / Dzen

• The washing machine has been acting up lately. It won’t start the washing, saying the door is not closed. You can stand and push the start button for a long time, you never know when it decides to start. But my wife quickly found an approach to it.
  After the machine’s second refusal, she says loudly, “Don’t lie. Your door is closed.” It always works 100%, but only for her. When I don’t have time to mess with the robot, I always call my wife for help, and sometimes I even phone her and put her on speakerphone. © Overheard / Ideer
• In summer I got very ill, I had a high fever for several days, so I was lying in bed. One day, the TV set that was half the size of the wall suddenly switched on the screen saver, where the fire in the fireplace was burning. I got scared that the wall was on fire. © Katerina Lisichkina / ADME
• At home, strange sounds began to occur at regular intervals — a long inhale or a slight hissing exhale. It was especially creepy to hear it in silence or at night. I shared it with a friend, who told me all sorts of horrible things.
  It went on for a couple of weeks, I was going crazy. My husband heard it too, but he has strong nerves and a healthy sleep. I searched the whole room, every corner. And then one day, once again looking in every nook and cranny, I heard the hissing sound again.
  Right in front of me on a high shelf was an aroma lamp. My daughter gave it to me, and I moved it a fortnight ago, and apparently something started up there, and it started to go off periodically, so I heard this hissing sound. © Lanalana / Dzen
• I bought a battery-operated doll for my daughter. If you put a bottle in its mouth, it starts drinking milk with smacking, if you slap its bottom, it starts crying, if you press its legs, it says different things. If you press one hand, it says “mommy,” the other hand — “daddy.”
  So, one day the daughter’s father left us, and the next morning the doll stopped saying “daddy.” It’s just mystical. The neighbor tried to fix it, but he couldn’t. Everything seemed fine, but this feature didn’t work. © Tunguska / Dzen

• My fiancé is very jealous. Recently, we asked our smart speaker, “Who is your owner?” I thought it was going to say my name. But for some reason it said, “John.” My husband-to-be’s name is different. Now my fiancé thinks I have an affair. © Overheard / Ideer
• Our family has one car, my wife doesn’t drive. One day, she became very interested in the dash cam. What is the quality of shooting, how to view what is filmed and whether the sound is recorded, whether the recordings are saved for a long time.
  I patiently explained, although it was strange — she hadn’t shown much interest in technology before. Then a neighbor told me that his relative wanted to show his wife an interesting moment from the trip, and accidentally rewound the footage when he went to see his mistress. © Ferrum59 / Pikabu
• This happened 20 years ago, when we still used CD players. It was winter. My husband left for his night work. I come out of the bathroom and suddenly hear whispering-singing in an incomprehensible language.
  And it’s quiet, like in a horror movie. And I’m wrapped in the towel in the dark. I switched on the light and there was nobody there.
  And then I realized: my husband was vacuuming before he left for work, and listening to Enigma on the record player. Then he turned down the volume and left, but didn’t turn off the music completely. The effect, of course, was inexpressible. I don’t know how I didn’t have a heart attack. © Tanya Baranova / Dzen
• I got a robot vacuum with a wet cleaning function. At night, I program the cleaning, fill the tank, and in the morning I see a puddle under the vacuum: the water that hasn’t been used during the wash is just released to the floor.
  I pick it up to wipe underneath, and it yells, “Look, everybody! I can fly!” Not even my 3-year-old son behaves that arrogantly when he makes a puddle. © Alexander Novoselov / Dzen

• On the second day after buying a smart speaker, I was sitting at work in another city and studied the app. I stumbled upon the function of unanswered calls. I called just out of interest to see how it worked.
  At home, my wife is talking to a strange man. I listened for 20 minutes, learned a lot of interesting things. Came home, told her I knew everything.
  Turns out she’s been in love with another man for almost 2 years and regularly visits him. 8 years of marriage, 3 kids. © Anonymous / Pikabu
• My future husband and I came to the registry office to get married. And he has a phone app that determines the age. We took a selfie. The camera shows that he is 35, I am 39. But we’re really 38 and 40. We laughed.
  We go out after the registration, take a selfie again, and the phone shows 40 and 36. Husband, “Well, 15 minutes of marriage, and I’m already 5 years older. It’s all you, you drank my blood, that’s why you have minus 4 years.” © Elena Rrrrrrr / Dzen
• I have a robot vacuum. Sometimes it scares me. But the scariest moment was yesterday when I was watching a horror movie, and it hit my foot in complete silence! My horror at that moment cannot be described. © Overheard / Ideer
• We bought an air freshener for the bathroom. At night, the cat comes up to me and starts shrieking. I dragged after him into the kitchen. There’s food, there’s water.
  And he takes me to the bathroom. I thought it was rats. We live on the ground floor. And then I hear a “psst, psst, psst.”
  The cat screams and climbs on top of me. And that’s the air freshener timer goes off. You can’t hear it during the daytime, there are a lot of other noises. © Wilena / Dzen
  

And here are 13 crazy smart home gadgets you secretly needed. Check them out.