20+ Women Who Gave Motherhood a Chance Shared How It Changed Their Lives Forever
Being a mother is a lot of responsibility and, honestly, a difficult job. Some women flatly decide not to bring any child into the world, and they have some solid reasons to think that way. However, there are also some who, even reluctantly, decide to go for it. And that changed their lives forever.
- My husband and I were both planning on being child-free. I dislike children, and my husband didn’t want the responsibility. Then, about 9 years into the relationship (but before we got married), he started to change his mind. I reluctantly agreed because I knew he’d be a good dad.
Anyway, we’ve got an almost 10-year-old son who is absolutely the love of my life. He’s truly awesome. Luckily, he was a pretty easy infant and toddler. It was the best decision I’ve made in my life. © MamaSquash8013 / Reddit
- I did not want children because I did not want to worry about their well-being and safety. My boyfriend then said he had heard me say that I don’t want children and that he would not marry me unless I agreed to have children. I said yes to humor him.
Then, 8 years in, he said it was time to start our family. For me, it was like being handed an alien species. I had never held a baby before, and none came naturally to me. I figured it out eventually and absolutely love and adore my 2 children, who are now well-adjusted adults. © SignalResolution35 / Reddit
- I like kids but never wanted the responsibility. My first husband talked me into 2 (because the first one needed a sibling) and then passed, leaving me with 2 small children. They were good. I was the problem. I’m glad they exist. The world is a better place with them in it.
I did my best, but I am so glad they are adults, and I don’t have to worry about feeding them and housing them. I can finally breathe. I like who they are, and we are close, but next life, I am definitely not having kids. © fuuuuunnnnn / Reddit
- When we got together, we were both adamant that we would be child-free; neither of us wanted kids. Ever. Then his brother and sister-in-law had a baby, and after hanging out with his nephew, he changed his mind. I could have left, and he would have understood. But he wanted a baby, and I wanted him, so...we had a baby.
And it’s been a wonderful experience, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But, I made it crystal clear going in that parenthood would be a partnership: he would be expected to change diapers, clean up, and be an actual hands-on parent because I didn’t want to be a single mother in a marriage. He was 100% on board and has been a wonderful father. © drunkenknitter / Reddit
- I’m about to comment on something I’ve never told anyone because I know people will shame me for it. I don’t like children. I can’t stand having to deal with them, and I don’t find babies cute. I never wanted a child, but it just so happened that I have a 6-year-old daughter.
I love her very much, but she wasn’t always like that. I didn’t hate her or anything. I just didn’t feel anything toward her for the first two years of her life. My daughter was just a giant burden on me, something I was constantly forced to take care of.
As she became more and more independent, I began to fall in love with her. I get tired of her easily, though. I still don’t like kids and never want to have another one. © EducationalJelly6121 / Reddit
- I didn’t want children. I find small children disgusting and annoying. But I fell in love with a great man who wanted at least two children. I agreed as long as we waited to have them. So we spent several years of marriage together before I got pregnant.
I agreed to have children because I thought I would eventually want them if I waited until I was 20, but that’s not what happened. After our first child, I wasn’t sure I wanted a second. It was a lot of work. After the second, things changed even more. I became more adaptable.
I still don’t like other people’s children, I still find them abhorrent, but I finally discovered that I really enjoy my own children in my own way. It has been difficult and challenging so many times. However, looking back, it has also been incredibly rewarding. Having children has made me a better person in so many ways. © EsseLeo / Reddit
- I never intended on having kids, but I married young and ended up with 2. I left the marriage and eventually met the most amazing man. I didn’t want more kids, but he had told me prior to starting a relationship that he would love my kids as his own (he does) but would like to experience the whole going through a pregnancy and baby stage and all that.
The deal was that it was at least 50/50. I’d done my time (there is a 12-year gap between my eldest and youngest), so I would be prepared to have another, but I wouldn’t be a stay-at-home parent. I wanted to focus on my career. We stuck to this, and he is an amazing father to our kids, not just hands-on, but a solid parent. © isitpurple / Reddit
- I never wanted children because the thought of pregnancy and childbirth was repulsing, and the responsibility of it all petrified me. He married me knowing this. It’s been 7 years. When I found out I was pregnant, the excitement pouring out of this man was not something I was willing to rob him of. Surprisingly, I enjoyed every minute of pregnancy, but while I love my kid immensely, being a mom is not what I was made for. © Experiment996 / Reddit
- I was iffy on it... not a total no but definitely reluctant. My husband insisted, so I acquiesced. My son is now 8, and I love him so much. I couldn’t imagine not being his mom. That said, I left my husband four years ago.
Looking back, a lot of my reluctance was about the relationship and hesitations about who was going to have to assume all of the extra domestic burdens that accompany having a child. I was totally correct about that. But I don’t regret it at all.
Things were never going to change in that relationship, so it’s best that it ended. This arrangement (being split up, sharing custody) feels right, even if it is hard sometimes. I’m so glad I have my son. © Professional_Split_9 / Reddit
- To be honest, it’s much more satisfying than I thought it would be. My husband teases me because I told him I would never get married or have children when we first met. Twelve years later, we have been married for 10 years, and I have two children, ages 6 and 3.
We waited a while, but now I can’t imagine my life without them. Unconditional love is something I couldn’t explain if I tried. I think having children made us a stronger couple and brought us closer together. It hasn’t been the easiest journey, but I wouldn’t trade it.
That being said, I don’t blame anyone for not wanting them. It’s hard and not for everyone. If you know you don’t want them, then good for you, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. All of my child-free friends, I support 110%. © glitterfartmagic / Reddit
- I never wanted children. I liked children as long as they weren’t mine. I thought it was too much responsibility to be responsible for someone else’s well-being when I was not so sure about my own. My husband wanted to get married and have children. My parents were also pressuring me.
I gave in to everyone’s pressure. We had a little boy. He is 4 years old. I love him more than anything or anyone in the world. © Minimum-Flamingo-151 / Reddit
- I didn’t want children because I knew I wasn’t maternal. I had two because of my husband. It has been such an honor to give birth to and help raise these two wonderful human beings.
I think we were lucky that I always saw them as individuals, not an extension of me. My husband has been there every step of the way. Sometimes it was like he did 75% of the parenting.
Now they are in college, and my husband is having a hard time with the empty nest. I don’t feel like a mother anymore. I love them to pieces. I miss them. But I’m glad I don’t have to take care of them every day. © aubor / Reddit
- I have resentment. I love them, of course, and thank God they are good people, but I did and still do all the hard work. I would have been happier without children—too much anxiety, anguish, and sacrifice. © dzeltenmaize / Reddit
- We have a daughter, and I love her more than anything. She is lovely. I didn’t like her as a baby. I resented my husband until she was about 3 and started showing her interests and being fun. She is now 5, and I have a great time with her.
I still don’t like being a mom. I hate the routines and the work and the exhaustion and the responsibility. But I love being HER mom and wouldn’t change it. However, I will never have another. © madeupneighbor / Reddit
- I always said I never wanted children of my own, but I liked children, and I am a teacher. I don’t particularly like babies and toddlers. Once they are able to use logic, they are more tolerable.
I married a man with a 7-year-old—wonderful! Logic and reasoning skills unlocked! No, he wanted more. I agreed to have just one. I did, and it was wonderful after she turned 5.
Now my stepdaughter has three children (still clingy, but I love them so much), and our child together is about to be a senior in college. We are approaching retirement and getting ready to travel, and life couldn’t be better. © TortitudeX3 / Reddit
- I didn’t like children at all. I planned not to have children, but sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way you expect. When I did, I regretted my selfish lifestyle. During the first few years of childhood, we were very close. I participated in some school events.
It got rough in the early teenage years, with lots of arguments and rebellion. Earlier this year, he had major back surgery, and as I cared for him, he finally began to appreciate all I had done to give him a good childhood. He is now 15, and we are in a much better place with each other. That said, I’m counting down the years until he becomes an adult. © mslady210_99 / Reddit
- Being a mom is hard. It takes a lot of time, energy, and sacrifice. It’s the main reason I didn’t want children in the first place. I wouldn’t have had children if my partner didn’t want them. I have a job, and balancing work and family is hard. I never have time for myself.
I don’t always enjoy being a mother and often feel that life would be so much easier if I weren’t a mother. It has changed my relationship with my partner; our priority is raising children. Although stressful, I am not unhappy, and I can’t say I regret having children. There are good times, and I have a lot of love and affection for my children. © Difficult_Humor1170 / Reddit
- I never wanted children. My husband never wanted children. We both teach martial arts, we’re around kids all the time, and we like them, but we didn’t want our own.
Then he started saying he wanted kids. He never said it was a deciding factor or anything like that. He just mentioned it a few times. Then after I finished all my schooling, I said why not?
Now I have a 2-year-old and a 9-week-old, and we would like one more. They are wonderful, and I love them completely. My life is very busy as I am still working full-time. It is hard work, but I am very happy to have these little people in my life. © kungfu_kick*** / Reddit
- Three years into my relationship, my boyfriend learned I didn’t want kids, and I learned he did. He really wanted children, but we were (and are) super in love, and it seemed like a distant future decision, so it still wasn’t a deciding factor.
Five years later, I got pregnant. I was terrified. When I told him, he was supportive, and it was ironically when I realized that if he supported me now, he would support me through parenting struggles. And he would probably be a great father. I was right.
We have a 1-year-old son, and he is an excellent father, and I consider myself a good mother (although I need my space). I’m happy with my decision, but I can easily say it’s only because I have the right partner. If this had happened with anyone else or had he responded differently, it probably would have been a dealbreaker. © FryRodriguezistaken / Reddit
- It wasn’t exactly a dealbreaker...we had both been very indifferent about children for a long time. My husband finally decided he didn’t want any, and I accepted his decision. I was quite happy to be the cool aunt and uncle.
Then my husband changed his mind. He made it very clear that it wasn’t an ultimatum, and it was completely my decision. I came to it because I’m not getting any younger, and I didn’t want to be upset in the future by not trying.
Now we have a 10-month-old baby, and I am so in love with my life. My husband is an amazing father and partner. It has been my greatest joy to watch my son grow. We are currently dealing with baby number two. © showmeurcupcakes_ / Reddit
- I will start by saying that I love my children. They are the best parts of me and my husband. However, I can’t wait to get my life back. I often daydream of a world where I am still a single woman, learning about the world but with the added wisdom of where I am now. I miss the freedom to do much or literally nothing at all.
These things don’t go away because I’ve grown up. They are treasured memories that I cherish. I rationalize my feelings and thoughts by remembering that I also created two little people who will most likely go on to do similar things with their lives. That makes me happier than anything else.
Do I regret having them? Never, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t wish for a day with zero responsibilities... © Academic_Mongoose143 / Reddit
- My partner acted like he didn’t want kids either. The pregnancy was a surprise, and we were done. He was excited, so we had it. Pregnancy was one of the worst times of my life.
How do I feel now? My son saved my life. He is amazing, and I love him more than life. He is the only kid in the universe that I like.
He has cousins who are normal kids, and I’m sorry, but I can’t stand them or any other kids. I don’t even like teenagers. But my son was the only person I had for a while, and I don’t regret having him at all. I will never have another child. Never, ever. © ifoundxaway / Reddit
Many people have decided not to have children or wait until they’re older. Any decision is fine, depending on the person and the life one wants to lead. We can tell you at least that they all had good reasons.