I Banned My MIL From Seeing My Daughter After Her Inappropriate Behavior While Babysitting

Parenting can take many forms, as everyone has their own approach. However, when you ask someone for help, you don’t expect them to do something unusual or inappropriate. That’s the story of a mom who discovers what her MIL made her young daughter do when she asked her to look after the baby.

What really happened

Thank you for sharing the full story and offering your perspective. We truly appreciate it and would like to offer a few tips to help you cope with it.

Create a parenting playbook.

• To avoid misunderstandings in the future, consider creating a “Parenting Playbook” or a set of guidelines for family members when they babysit. Include dos and don’ts, like age-appropriate activities, safety rules, and how you’d prefer they interact with your child. This sets clear expectations for everyone and helps maintain consistency.

Leverage technology for peace of mind.

• If you’re worried about leaving your child alone with someone in the future, consider installing a baby monitor or a camera in the room. This way, you can check in from time to time without intruding. It might give you peace of mind and allow you to feel more comfortable with a little extra supervision.

Empathy over resentment.

• While it’s understandable that you feel betrayed, try to focus on empathizing with your MIL’s intentions. She might have thought she was doing something helpful, but simply lacked understanding of what’s best for your baby. Approach the conversation with an open heart, aiming to educate rather than reprimand, so it doesn’t become a point of long-term tension.

Frame it as a learning opportunity.

• Instead of focusing on blame, consider using this as a chance for growth. Share with your MIL how you envision positive and age-appropriate ways she can bond with your baby. Offer some simple activities, like reading stories or playing with toys, to ensure she feels involved while respecting your boundaries.

Involve a neutral third party.

• If emotions are running high, consider involving a trusted family member or mediator to facilitate a discussion between you and your MIL. A neutral perspective can help keep the conversation constructive and focused on your baby’s well-being rather than personal grievances.

Involve her in non-caretaking roles.

• Redirect her involvement by suggesting other ways to contribute, like helping prepare meals, folding laundry, or engaging in tasks that don’t directly involve childcare. This keeps her engaged without putting your baby in uncomfortable situations.

Encourage reflective conversations.

• Ask open-ended questions to gently challenge her perspective, such as, “What do you think [baby’s name] might have been feeling during that moment?” This can prompt self-reflection and help her better understand why her actions were concerning.

Situations like this can lead to numerous issues, and they are becoming increasingly common and deeply problematic.