I Didn’t Invite My DIL Over for Dinner — Now My Son Is Angry at Me

Building a strong bond with your mother-in-law can prove to be quite a daunting task. The key lies in the mutual willingness of both individuals to invest the necessary effort. But in this story, it is actually the MIL who found it impossible to build a good relationship with her DIL. According to the MIL, her daughter-in-law can never be pleased when it comes to food, so she decided she will no longer try to accommodate her.

A mother-in-law couldn’t get along with her daughter-in-law because of her food preferences.

My son has been married for two years at this point. We get along with my DIL as well as water and oil. I just keep my distance because I don’t like dealing with her.

She is a horrible picky eater, I don’t know why, but truly I don’t care because she is a pain at restaurants. We try to go anywhere, and we have to change places multiple times, so she can have something to eat. She makes the waiters go through hoops, so she will have something she likes and if anything is wrong she will complain about it or pout in the corner.

Example: She got a quesadilla, removed everything on it, and when it came out she sent it back because there was sour cream on the side, it wasn’t touching anything, and she made a huge deal about her food being wrong. She doesn’t have allergies either. What really made me dislike her is that she complained about the food at a funeral, they had a sandwich spread but went on about it’s gross multiple times.

So I had a dinner yesterday and I invited everyone but my son’s wife (son wasn’t invited either, but he was on a business trip). My other DIL posted it online, and I got a call from her. She was pissed I didn’t invite her and asked why, I told her it’s due to her being an embarrassment at dinners and I won’t be inviting her to dinners. She said I was wrong and hung up. Now my son is angry, and I am wondering if I should apologize or not.

The woman gave more background info in the comments.

• “My son thinks I should be more welcoming to her and give her more grace, he does justify her behavior. Our personalities do not mesh, she is extremely dramatic, and I get annoyed being around her for more than a few hours. The food is my main issue with her, even without that we wouldn’t be besties.” MortgageTrick2436 / Reddit
• “He always says to drop it and she is fine. If we push he goes on about us not welcoming my DIL. It’s frustrating.” MortgageTrick2436 / Reddit

Redditors were just as annoyed with the DIL’s behavior.

• “She OPENLY complained about the sandwich spread at a funeral? That’s all you have to point out to her, and to your son, and to anyone else who challenges you on this. She either behaves at mealtime like a decent human being or you, for one, will not be inviting her to dinner.” Auntie-Mam** / Reddit
• “She is not just being picky; she could be being discreet and considerate about it, and setting limits for herself, but she’s not. She’s acting like a spoiled child pouting, whining, and having no consideration for how her behavior affects fellow diners and restaurant staff.
  Said simply: Picky may possibly be accommodated for (even if it’s a pain), but rude and inconsiderate shouldn’t be accommodated, especially when it’s utterly predictable. You should make this distinction clear to anyone coming to you supporting her.” kurokomainu / Reddit
• “It’s okay to be ‘picky’ about food. My husband is deathly allergic to coconut in all its iterations and hates 1. Cheese on eggs and 2. Sour cream. I also have a SIL with celiac.
  The difference is how you handle it. Are you respectful with wait staff and fellow diners or do you act like the worst toddler throwing a tantrum? She’s the latter.” JustUgh2323 / Reddit

It’s actually very common for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to not get along. In one of our recent articles, we wrote about a woman who had to kick out her MIL after she became too controlling.