I Kicked My 72-Year-Old MIL Out of the House, and Now My Husband Is Furious With Me

People
3 weeks ago

Forging a solid connection with your mother-in-law can be a real challenge, and sometimes it can feel like mission impossible. It takes both parties being willing to put in the effort. But what if you and your in-law were on great terms, and then suddenly, everything fell apart? That’s the story we’re diving in today.

What happened.

“I (36F) live with my husband (41M). I have a decent relationship with my MIL compared to a lot of the horror stories I hear from friends, she’s quite sweet and warm. She is, however, a little over-controlling. Overprotective? I’m not sure of the exact word, but she has very strong ideas about things and no sense of boundaries.

For example, when she stays at our house, she takes over the kitchen completely and insists on cooking all our meals. She cooks wonderfully, but she won’t let me help her at all, and she puts everything away in the wrong places—and then insists that her way is more logical. She only really comes for holidays, though, and I do like her a lot. So I don’t mind putting up with these mild annoyances.”

“I’m currently pregnant with our little girl, who will be born in a few months. This is a miracle. I really didn’t think it would happen, especially so late, but we got lucky. When my MIL heard, she was super excited and said she would come over to help us get ready for the baby.

She offered to stay for the next 6 months or so to help out because my husband and I both work long hours, and it will be hard to handle the baby on top of this. She is also pretty emotionally invested in this because she truly sees herself as part of our family. She arrived a few days ago and set herself up, then she started with the cleaning.”

“I like collecting things from garage sales and such. Things like little sculptures and books and baskets, stuff a lot of people would consider utter junk. Our house is definitely overstuffed, but it’s reasonably tidy and doesn’t seem like a hoarder’s house or anything. My MIL, on the other hand, likes everything surgically clean.

Yesterday I came home from work to find the house like a fight zone. She went through my cabinets and cleared out everything she considered junk, and had apparently made several trips to goodwill before I got home. I was really angry, and I asked her why she would ever do this. She said the house has to be tidy for the baby and that it would be ‘dangerous’ for the baby to be in my cluttered house.”

“Then she took the next huge bag of stuff and tried to walk out the door. I kind of lost it, and I told her she could get out right now. She was shocked that I was serious, and she said she didn’t have anywhere to go and it was so late. It was about 9:30. I booked her a hotel room and called a taxi.

My husband came home an hour later, and when I told him what happened, he was furious with me. He says I disrespected his mom and was ungrateful for everything she’s trying to do for us.”

Redditors commented the story.

  • You may want to consider why she did that. Your house may actually be cluttered with junk, and she was helping. I of course don’t have like photos of your house in its previous state, but what she did still was an AH move. theranchmonster / Reddit
  • You have a husband problem, and you probably need to ask him if he gave her the green flag to “tidy” up. My mom is sort of the same way; though her house can be however she likes it, she threw out some stuff I wasn’t ready to get rid of. Well, that’s a boundary she won’t cross again. You need to talk to your husband and then MIL, but I suspect the husband has some explaining to do. This is wild. _parenda_ / Reddit
  • What your MIL did crossed every line for a guest in anyone’s home, and, in fact, you could make a very good case for theft of your belongings. If your MIL truly wanted to help you, she would have asked before touching a single thing and would have accepted it if you told her “no” to any action she wanted to take. Instead, she did everything while you were away when she knew you could not object or tell her no.
    You also have a husband problem. He made a vow to “forsake all others until death do you part,” and it looks like he is not doing that now — it looks like he is choosing his mother over you. He should have been enforcing the sanctity of the two of your home against her overbearing ways all along. And you need to get this worked out now before the baby comes, or your MIL is going to be running your home, not you. bamf1701 / Reddit
  • But who in their right mind invites their mom/mil to stay at their house six months before the baby is due? That’s insane, sorry. And with what she previously did, her taking over was to be expected. (Not her throwing stuff away, that’s also insane.) Whooptidooh / Reddit
  • Show him this post. Tell him you will make a list of boundaries that she will not be allowed to cross if he wants to have her visit again. Especially with the baby. Make sure your husband agrees because if he doesn’t then there’s gonna be big problems. Let her know the boundaries and if she crosses them she will be asked to leave. doglover507071956 / Reddit
  • But your MIL wants to be a mom raising a baby again, your baby. If you allow her to stay, you will change the relationship with your child forever. She will never allow you to bond with your child, cook a meal, whatever. She is taking over your house, and she will take over raising your baby.
    This isn’t going to work. Throwing her out at 9:30 at night was not the best way to handle this, but her tearing your house apart as if she is in charge, and it’s her house is just as wrong. shout-out-1234 / Reddit

Stories like this are pretty common nowadays, so we have a bunch of other cool stories about mothers-in-law.

Comments

I wouldn't have kicked her a++ out also way to go you need to be at peace in your home
-
-
Reply
I have lost a mother and a MIL, I would love to have your problem. Maybe she didn’t make the best decision but neither did you. What did you think she was going to do in your house 6 MONTHS before the baby came?
-
-
Reply
It's your home your mil must respect it as yours. Or stay away. This will only get worse, with your husband siding with his mother. Bad plan. Put your foot down, now and don't back down. Your home your rules no discussion
-
-
Reply
I guess I'm an older mother and I would love to have the help of my MIL. Send her over here
-
-
Reply
I'm sure it's too late now but I would have gone to good will and told them what happened to see if you could recover any of the things that really mattered to you.
And honestly the kitchen thing is when the boundaries should have been set. Who thinks it's ok to kick people out of their kitchens and rearrange them that is rediculous and encroaching as well as entitled and belittling to uo honestly.
-
-
Reply

Related Reads