I Excluded My Stepdad From My Family Photo, My Dad’s Comfort Comes First

HELL YES YOU ARE TO BLAME! If you are TOO STUPID to see what you did is not only wrong but CRUEL then YOU deserve all the misery that YOUR ACTIONS CAUSED. Why in God's name would you do something SO RECKLESS? By your own words your stepfather was ALWAYS THERE and your "real father" you only saw sporadically, YET you put him first. You not only hurt the man that raised you, but you also ruined your own mother's relationship with him. The fact that neither of you stood up for him speaks volumes. I pray that you are never in the same position that you placed your stepfather in. He deserves to be happy and he was never going to be after the crappy way you treated him. You should be SO MUCH MORE THAN ASHAMED for what you did. AND that POS you call your REAL DAD knew exactly what he was asking of you, and HE CERTAINLY GOT HIS WAY, didn't he? You turned what was a life of caring support for you and your mother into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME. You need to ask GOD FOR FORGIVENESS AND THEN YOUR STEPFATHER, if he even ever talks to you again. I know that you will get God's but I doubt you will get anyone else's.

How dumb are you??? You horrible horrible human being that man raised you he's your Real Dad not that part time 1 that shows up now & again. Well done for breaking your Mums heart & ripping her life apart. As for your in control sperms donor dad wow.

"Am I to blame here?" Dumbest question I ever heard. Surely God gave you brains. Use your brains and answer that dumb ass question yourself. That man was there for you your entire life and then you back stabbed him. You're just like your father. Worthless.

Wow, your loyalties are messed up. Stepdad raised you and was there for you. Your dad abandoned you and only popped in when convenient for him. Cannot blame your stepdad for leaving.

You're dumb for not taking 2 pictures.

You stupid girl. Yes you are wrong....

Maybe you could have done better, but he already had plans to go... you are his excuse.

If you have to even ask if you were wrong, you are selfish and will never get it. My husband had 2 kids when we married and moved 1500 miles away. But he still maintained contact with his kids, even though they had a wonderful step-dad. When his daughter married, my husband just assumed his daughter would be walked down the aisle by her step-dad, who was there ever day for her. Instead, she asked them both to walk her, one of each side, as each had equal importance to her. She refused to chose, and she shouldn't be made to. Obviously, your step-dad didn't mean as much to you as he thought he did.

If your step-father helped raise you from the time that you were 8 yrs old, then YES, you are in the wrong. He became part of your family when he married your mother. You stated that your Dad was rarely around. This man was there for you on a regular basis, and you treated him like dirt. You made him feel like everything that he did was for nothing. I don't blame him for feeling used and tossed aside.

Yes you was wrong cause you didn't have a problem with him being there when your real dad wasn't,he didn't feel uncomfortable when he wasn't there and your stepdad to over his responsibility it was ok ..He did right packed his things and left what you calling for cause you proved to him when it comes to somethings he can't be apart

U were completely wrong & heartless. Stepdad raised u. Just bc "Dad" remarried doesn't mean he couldn't have been an active parent... LIKE STEPDAD DID. SMH, I feel so sorry for ur stepdad and feel sorry for u (but in a diff way, smh). How dare "dad"? He should be grateful a man stepped up & did what he wasn't for HIS DAUGHTER. 😢

100% You could have taken a stand for the one who deserved it and you blew it spectacularly. And for what?

Honestly, leave your mother’s future ex husband alone. Do try to contact the guy. I know exactly what he feels. I have spent many years on helping raise ungrateful kids. When times are bad, I’m the one who they call for help. And when times are good, they call their dad.
All the men who read this. I strongly advise you to avoid women with kids. Especially grown kids.

Yes you are

Like father, like daughter.. Heartless

You and your mum deserve that, no heart, no feeling, what's wrong with you, how can you do that to your step dad, he raise you, did your husband proud about you

Yes.. You make a big mistake, you have no feeling,, he raise you..

Your dad sounds jealous and immature. I assume your mom was there. Why didn't she say something? Your dad put you in a position of hurting someone you apparently care about, and that's going to bother you for a long time, especially when you look at your wedding album. Find your stepdad, and beg his forgiveness, and you better be prepared to convince him that what he wrote in his note was not true. But if he refuses to come back, I've got a feeling there might be something more going on. His feelings may be hurt, his pride may be bruised, but why would he leave your mother?

You are your father’s daughter that’s for sure, a complete asshole. There are so many different ways you could have handled this. The easiest would have been two photos. That being said there is more here than meets the eye. Your step dad also walked out on your mom because of your actions. I too am a step dad and I would not let the actions of any of our kids dictate my relationship with their mom.

YTAH! He raised you while your Dad left you and remarried.That man gave you unconditional love.

Wow!! MASSIVE AH

You’re a BIG GAPING AH! Your stepfather RAISED YOU. Your dad chose to go move away so you saw him whenever and valued that time. Your “father” didn’t make the effort to see you while YOUR STEPFATHER RAISED you…yet your “father” demands he gets respect and only one can be in the picture and YOU chose the one that DIDNT raise you ta make him happy. And your mom didn’t do anything either. You both showed him he was good enough to provide but not enough to stand up for and give him the respect he deserves as a man. Shame on both of you. You’re married now and probably won’t ever hear from your father again mor have your stepdad. At least you’ll have a picture to remember him by and memories of what a real dad was.

Big Time!!

You are a horrible person. You are absolutely the ah you know what else you are? Un-grateful and selfish. Karma will let you feel what you made your step dad feel.

Yes you’re to blame you horrible person! You and your deadbeat biodad don’t deserve someone as great as your stepdad. I feel bad for only him and your mom. It’s your fault and you deserve all the bad things that come from this. The man who raised you is your real father, but you threw him away for someone who didn’t care about you for longer than it took him to make you. If I was marrying this person, I’d would rethink it immediately!

Yes you sure are to blame you broke his heart he raised you he should have absolutely been in the picture

Yes. Yes you are. You had the wrong person stay. You should have had the man who raised you.

Shame on you!!

Absolutely 💯

Hope you never have a child that does the same thing to you

Yes you are to blame and your father is too. Your father's a total jerk and you looking up to him is probably not one of the better things in life. Your stepfather raised you and loved you, provided for you and you chose a man who contributed to your birth but then find it necessary to stay in close contact with you..

Do you really need to post this on the Internet so everyone can tell you that "yes you are too blame"? SHAME ON YOU. A man who by ur words had been more of a father than the biological father (aka sperm donor). U said you don't see him often, that is because he moved on with his life and a new family. I mean how dare the bio father even say/ask that of you. He can't take a picture with step Dad in it but had no problem letting this man Raise you, support you, and all that goes into raising a daughter.I get he's your dad but it sounds like he never got the meno or didn't care. Stepfather that cared for you and raised you for 20 years and this is the thanks he gets. I bet he never treated you any less or different cause you wasn't his biological kid. I'm truly sorry for his pain and confusion. I'll pray for you and your family. If your husband didn't know that you was or could be that cold hearted, he does now. Praying you grow up and are able to make it right. My heart breaks for your mother also but if my kid said that to their stepdad I would have walked away with him. Have your father and stepmom in the picture instead. SHAME ON YOU. You not only broke this man's heart you shattered it. Still can't believe your not sure if you are to blame. Never forget you broke up a 20 year marriage and lost your True father all over a man that never Really Cared about you to begin with. Praying you can somehow make this right with him.

Absolutely you are to blame. This man raised you and you totally threw him out for a man who could care less about you. This man gave you his heart and you threw it away in the garbage. As for your mother, she should have stood up and defended him against her ex and didn't. Your stepfather has every right to feel this way and do what he did. My heart goes out to him. You should be very ashamed of yourself.

Never raised by my biological father . I would see him often but not raised by him. When I got married my grandfather walk me down the isle . He and my grandmother raised me from the age of 2. They was my life and I was theirs. I personally believe God put us together because we needed each other. ( My mother was in an abusive relationship and didn't want me in the home) If the man her husband would abuse his kids what would he have done to me who wasn't his child. Your father should have not told you to choose between him and your stepfather. Instead your biological father should have thank him for raising you, loving you and protecting you. That man shown you who was your father. Just because your biological father is still alive. Doesn't mean he deserved to give you away. Where was he when you was growing up? Who really took care of you and gave you unconditional love? And yes you are to blame. This will always be with you.

Update; I would have had them both in the picture. I also would have told my Dad, he stepped in when you stepped out. So its up to you if you want to be in the picture but he is not going anywhere. You were worried about hurting the feelings the wrong man.

I think he is being a lil childish leaving his wife because of his stepdaughter. However you shouldn't have shun him in that way. Kids will kick a person to the curb thats been there the whole time over a part time person. You were trying to make your Father happy, but you have severly hurt your Dad because he is the one that raised you. Please remember that men do not have to choose to marry women with kids. Its a choice to take on another man's household and be that parental figure. Even if its a woman coming in and taking care of a man's kids and filling a households maternal need. We have to stop taking that for granted or there will be more single moms out there. Men will stop choosing US. Speaking as a woman with kids who is remarried.

Yes you are to blame and shame on you and those who let it happen have a miserable life little lady

I just don't get why people do this? Her dad was rarely in her life because he chose to rarely be in her life but oh when it came to such an important milestone that's when he wanted to be dad? Her stepdad was as much or if not the best male role model in her life thru all her good and bad and then she excludes him? That's so messed up. My children have 2 dads, their real and step and they told me when they get married they want both dads to walk them down the isle and both dads are absolutely okay with that.

Serve you damn right. You disrespected the stepfather who brought you up from the age of 8 for the deadbeat bio father. I hope he finds happiness with people who appreciate him.

Read the title folks: “My dad’s comfort comes first.” This woman is clueless and cold hearted. She came on a forum to get reassurance that she didn’t do anything wrong. You reap what you sow. I’m sure you were never grateful towards your stepfather and treated him like crap. Therefore, this act of disregard for his feelings was the last straw. You’re disgusting and cold!! I hope you’re proud of yourself for breaking his heart. Disgusting behavior

“Gently asked him to step aside” Cold and heartless. You lack Emotional IQ

You’re a piece of work. Your step father raised you and you ask him to step aside and eliminated him from the family photo?!? You are ungrateful and should do everything possible to beg for forgiveness! Grow up!!

Wow! You ditched the man that has 💯 been involved in your life. And you ask are you to blame! Any man can be a spe** donor, it takes a real man to be a Daddy! Your "step"dad stepped up to help raise you in every sense! The donor dad was more concerned about himself. You broke your step dad's heart

Yes you are to blame. Your father didn't care enough to even stay near you, he just up and moved away. All those things you needed a father for were taken care of by your stepdad. He did't have to step up ,you aren't even his child. But he was there for you all those years and how did you repay him. Your biological father was right. You only had one dad unfortunately for you it wasn't,'t him. He couldn't be bothered at the time. And he's even so selfish and jealous he would try to destroy your relationship with the only man who was ever a real father to you.You should find him and apologize from the depths of your soul.

Bridezilla was WRONG. She should have told real dad that both were in the pic or HE could leave. Personally real dad should not have been in the pic, or even at the wedding. He sounds like a spoiled baby. Absent for his daughter whole life, then wants to be daddy at the wedding.Nope

I think everyone is missing the point here this is a grown man that left his wife because something his stepdaughter did. why is he not being held accountable? yes she could have handled this differently but this is a grown man looking for an excuse to leave. her responsibility is to apologize but his responsibility was to stick it out with a marriage he committed to. doesn't seem like a real man or a real marriage for him to leave because of hurt feelings over a picture.

Yes you are. You've devistate your mum.

Yes that man gave the best years of his life raising you and when if was time for you to have his back you told him to get out of the way.

I think you need to hear from a stepdad. So that being said I want to tell you that you and your stepdad are both in the wrong. I am a stepdad and had my daughter done to me what you did I would have stepped aside for the picture and I would have stepped away from you. But I would have never left my wife. Everytime you came over or we had a family get together I would not be there as long as you were present. After all you made it extremely painfully clear that I am not family.

So wrong that man is your father. My dad left my mom with 9 kids and my stepdad raised all of us never having his own.thats a real father

So wait a moment here, Your stepdad.. left his wife..because You upset him?

Him being upset is understandable, but he literally left his wife

I will answer you from a 59 yr old woman raised by one man not her " real dad". He is the only man I have ever called my father. I never had his name. I named my son after him, my grandson carries his name.
He said something to me age 16 I never forgot..
He said he wasn't my dad but will always be there and love me as his own..when my mother died I was 22..he stood to that promise til the day he died..
That man is/was my father and no birth certificate no person can tell me different. He's the one who was there, who loved me..
You need to think about who was there who actually loved you and was your dad..
It wasn't the guy who was absent
Yes you hurt your father and he left..now what are you going to do about it?

That was extremely messed up, I understand you want to value your time with your real father but newsflash, your dad left you and your mother while your step dad has been there for you and has raised you since you were A child to exclude him just for a man who left you is beyond cruel and If you were my step daughter I would never want to see you again because of the amount of pain you would have caused me

You were unbelievably cruel.