I Left My Fiancée Because of Her Insulting Request Regarding My Daughter

«After 5 years in my relationship with my girlfriend, I proposed. She was super excited and wanted to start planning right away.» The loving couple appeared destined for a blissful future, yet the woman’s true personality emerged, leaving the man bewildered and prompting him to seek assistance from internet users.

At 45 years old, the protagonist of this story is a devoted father to an 11-year-old daughter from his previous marriage, sharing custody with his ex-wife. However, he found love anew and embarked on a journey to nurture a fresh relationship. Right from the start, his girlfriend formed a strong bond with his daughter, bringing immense joy to the man’s heart.

Following the proposal, the fiancée eagerly began scouting venues and assembling her bridal party by inviting her friends to be bridesmaids. However, shortly thereafter, an unforeseen event disrupted their plans.

The man wrote, "She then told me she wanted her niece to be a flower girl. Which I had no problem with, but I said I also wanted my daughter to be a flower girl. My fiancée looked at my funny and then declared, ’’Well, I don’t think your daughter would fit the part.’’

Shocked by the unexpected turn of events, the man penned his thoughts, «I got angry and told her that my daughter would be at our wedding. My fiancée started to become upset and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and my daughter wouldn’t be one of them. I told her that if my daughter wasn’t in the wedding then there might not be a wedding. I stormed out and took my daughter to get ice cream.

My daughter knows we are getting married and told me she thinks she will look pretty in whatever dress my fiancée decides she should wear. This broke my heart.»

Later, the man went back home to talk to his fiancée and to ask her why she didn’t want his daughter at the wedding, but the answer he got full-on shocked him.

She quietly replied, ’’I was hoping that after the wedding you could become a holiday visit only dad.’’ She then added, ’’I didn’t want her in the wedding so she wouldn’t be in the photos around the house since she wasn’t going to be around much.’’

After hearing this, the man says that he tried to keep his cool, then he calmly took his fiancée’s hand and pulled his engagement ring off.

Faced with a distressing predicament, the man turned to internet users for guidance and counsel. «So, did I take it too far saying I will cancel? Am I overreacting or just being a good dad?» The majority of commenters sided with the man. By the way, the first comment was liked by thousands of people.

• Absolutely, never put a new partner over your own child. Your child is your first priority and any new partner should fully embrace the fact that your child is in your life and theirs. Red flags galore if they want to exclude from now. OP, think long and hard about how your new partner currently treats your child and how you see this working in the future if the new partner were to stay in your life. © Ill_Mood_8514 / Reddit
• As the stepchild who got excluded, do not do that to your daughter! You sit that woman down and tell her you’re a package deal or your relationship with your daughter will suffer from it.
  © WonderfulRip6246 / Reddit

Below are several additional remarks:

• Cancel the whole wedding and re-evaluate your relationship. Your daughter is part of your life. If your ’fiancée’ doesn’t accept it, she can’t be your fiancée or wife. © Couette-Couette / Reddit
• I got married to my husband when his boys were 7 and 9. Hubby and I said vows and then the boys joined us for family vows. All 4 of us lit the unity candle. I married a family, not a man. © Chance_Ad_8255 / Reddit
• This is a big red flag. If she doesn’t want to include her stepdaughter in her wedding, then don’t expect she will include your daughter in her life. © 10×10Hag / Reddit

What actions do you believe would have been appropriate for the groom in this scenario? Some people may not consistently enjoy spending time with their stepchildren, similar to the situation in this story which sparked a big debate.