I Refuse to Be an On-Call Babysitter Every Weekend, I’m Done Doing Charity Work

Family means showing up in both good times and bad, sure. But what happens when “helping out” crosses the line? That’s the situation Marie found herself in.

She’s been babysitting her brother’s kids nonstop for what feels like forever, and finally decided she had to draw a line. The twist? Her simple “no” ended up flipping the whole family dynamic upside down.

Dear Bright Side,

I have to get this off my chest. My brother’s kids have been staying at my apartment every weekend for over a year. I love them, but I need a break.

I finally said no. He lost it. Called me cold-hearted, said the kids “need me.”

Then last night, I got a call from one of my nieces. She told me she cried every weekend because she feels like she’s bothering me. My brother never knew, apparently. I feel sick thinking I might have hurt them, even though I was trying to protect myself.

Life’s so messy... I don’t know if I did the right thing. What should I do now?

— Marie

Here’s Our Take:

Thanks for opening up about this, Marie. Honestly? You did the tough, necessary thing. Life’s messy, but protecting your mental space now can prevent bigger resentment down the line.

You’re not a villain for needing a break. Here are some tips that might help you cope and navigate the family conflict.

• Boundaries are survival. You are allowed to have limits. Protecting your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
• Talk openly with the kids. Let them know it’s not about them. Kids can feel guilt that isn’t theirs: give them permission to relax.
• Share the load. Your brother may need to step up or hire help. You’re not a free daycare.

• Small compromises. Maybe one weekend a month is doable. It’s still quality time without burning you out.
• Communicate with your brother calmly. Repeat: calmly. Set expectations clearly and stick to them. He may be mad, but it’s a “new normal” thing.
• Self-forgiveness. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You’re showing the kids that adults have limits—a lesson they will eventually thank you for.

• Support network. Vent to friends, your partner, or even online communities. You don’t have to carry this alone.
• Celebrate small victories. Even saying no is a win. Recognize it, even if the family drama is loud.
• Remember the bigger picture. Kids grow up. Your relationship with them will survive boundaries. It may even be stronger because it’s healthier.

Sibling relationships aren’t always easy and often require patience, especially during family conflicts. Take this other story: a woman refused to let her brother live in the house she donated to her parents, and it sparked a huge buzz among the family.