I Refused to Let My Ex Humiliate My Daughter Over Meat, She’s Just a Child

A dad steps in when his ex starts criticizing their daughter over her food choices. Is it fair to judge a girl just because she doesn’t prefer vegan food? Is pushing for full custody because of that the right move? See how this situation unfolds.

Hello, Bright Side,

My name is Jason. When my daughter, Emma, is at her mom’s place, she’s forced to eat vegan, but when she’s with me, she always asks for steaks and pot roasts. Eventually, she begged her mom, “Please, let me eat what I want!” She refused.

The next morning, Emma called me, screaming, “Mom says that from now on I will eat vegan food only! We’re heading to you!” Then I heard a car pulling into my driveway. Emma’s mom stormed into my house and shouted, “You’ve turned her against me!”

I said, “No. You did that the moment you started criticizing her for what she eats.” I added that if she keeps treating my daughter this way, I’ll have to go to court and fight for full custody. My ex just left without saying a word.

Now, I’m left thinking about what I should do next. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but I just want Emma to feel accepted. Is it wrong for me to push for full custody just because of this one issue? Any advice on how to handle this would really help.

Hi, Jason,

While Emma’s emotional and dietary needs should be prioritized, it’s important to handle this situation carefully, with a focus on her well-being rather than taking immediate legal action. There are some steps you can take to address the issue without escalating things further:

• Acknowledge your ex’s right to have dietary preferences, but express how Emma feels about being forced into a vegan lifestyle. It’s important that Emma feels accepted and heard by both of her parents.
  Kids can follow a vegan diet, but that should be a mutual decision. If your daughter loves steaks, it’s not fair to force her into eating only something her mom prefers. And, moreover, eating differently doesn’t make her bad.

• Shift the issue as a concern for Emma’s well-being rather than a personal attack on her parenting style. Mention that raising a child on a vegan diet can have risks.
  Children are in crucial stages of growth and development, so a vegan diet requires careful attention to ensure they receive adequate nutrients. Deficiencies can affect bone development, cognitive function, and overall growth. Is the diet your ex suggests to your daughter well-planned?

• Look for ways that you and your ex can find common ground when it comes to Emma’s lifestyle and diet. For example, if a vegan diet is non-negotiable at her mom’s, maybe somewhere there’s room for more flexibility.
  For example, you could agree to a “food-neutral” zone where Emma can eat whatever she wants. It could be her room or any other place where she will be comfortable.

Another mom finds herself facing heartbreak after thinking she was helping her grown son become more independent. But when he packed his things and left, it was just the beginning. Days later, the truth about his actions came to light, and now, he’s not answering her calls. Here’s what happened: I Told My Son He Had 2 Weeks to Move Out—Now He’s Turned the Tables on Me