I Refused to Work During My Family Vacation, and HR Lost It

Everyone talks about work-life balance, but the truth is most companies don’t really mean it. You’re told to “take time off,” yet they never leave you alone. That’s exactly what happened to me.

I took a long-overdue family vacation after months of nonstop overtime, thinking I could finally relax. Instead, my boss wouldn’t stop calling, and within hours HR got involved.

Hi, good people reading this! I am quite frustrated, so this is going to be a rant. Please let me know if I was wrong here.

I had been completely burnt out. For weeks, I was juggling deadlines, client calls, and weekend emails. Working overtime, 10–12 hours for weeks.

I hadn’t had a proper break in years, so I finally planned a week-long family trip. I even wrapped up all my pending tasks, set up my out-of-office reply, and told my boss weeks in advance that I’d be offline and won’t be taking any work related tasks or calls.

For the first two days, everything was perfect. I finally felt like myself again, I was at peace!

On the 3rd day, my boss kept calling me, “We need you URGENTLY! Just 15 mins.” I told him I’ll deal with it later, I’m with my family right now. He hung up on me rudely. I thought that was that, and a future me’s problem.

But no. Within an hour, I froze when I got an email from HR saying I’d “failed to cooperate during a critical situation.” They claimed my refusal was “unprofessional” and said my “lack of flexibility during urgent matters” would be documented.

I honestly thought it was a prank at first, but nope, it was real. My vacation was ruined instantly, and I spent the rest of my days being super anxious.

When I returned, HR called me in for a meeting. They said I should’ve been “more understanding” and “available in exceptional cases.” I asked, “Then what’s the point of approved leave if I’m still expected to work?” They didn’t have an answer, just a bunch of corporate talk about “team commitment” and “company culture.”

I’ve been with this company for three years. I’ve stayed late, worked weekends, and covered for people when they couldn’t. The one time I draw a line, suddenly I’m the bad guy and my job is at risk.

My coworkers are split. Some said I did the right thing by setting a boundary. Others said I should’ve just did the task to keep HR off my back and my boss happy. My wife is mad at me and saying I should’ve just done it instead of putting our family at risk (in case I lose the job, she isn’t working because our youngest is only 2 years old).

But honestly, if we never say no, nothing changes. If we keep giving in, these “quick 15 minutes” will never stop.

So now I’m stuck wondering: Was I wrong to refuse to work during my vacation? Or was HR out of line for getting involved when I was on approved leave?

Families are complicated, especially when divorce, remarriage, and old wounds are involved. Read the previous letter we received from a reader: I Excluded My Stepmom From Our Family Vacation to Please My Mom.