Grandparents love spending time with their grandkids, but when there is a lack of respect for time and boundaries, the relationship we have with our family can suffer. One of our readers reached out to share how her son and his wife didn’t respect her new hobby.
Dear Bright Side,
After retiring, the relationship I had with my son and DIL changed. In their minds, weekends meant babysitting my grandson. I love him to bits and pieces and never had a problem with that. But it seems my son has a problem with me wanting to live my life.
Last month, I started playing a game I really enjoy. It was an online game I had heard people talking about, and I wanted to give it a chance. I had a lot of fun and even made a few new friends from all over the world. But I didn’t let it consume it. It was just a fun little pastime.
This weekend, I spoke to my DIL and told her about the YouTube channel created for it. She laughed and said, “Do you really think people will waste their time watching that? Or that you’ll make money with it?”
I was hurt and disappointed in her words. She didn’t even have the decency to pretend to be happy for me or to show an interest in my hobby. It was like I was just a free daycare option for her. It actually seemed to upset her, knowing I was doing something for myself.
That night, while still emotional, I started posting some videos I made online and the minute I did my following skyrocketed. People started asking me to livestream an upcoming event, and I was even approached by the developers. So I asked a few friends to help me the weekend of the event.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see my grandson, but they usually drop him off around 9 am and my friends could only come at certain times. So I asked my son to drop him off at 1 pm instead, and it wasn’t a permanent thing. It would only be for one day.
My son was furious and told me that he and my DIL are against it because they think it will distract me from babysitting their son. Then he hung up on me. It hurt to think that my son thought I’d neglect his child, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. If only I knew how much this would affect our relationship.
The next day, my son angrily texted me saying, “Do you think it’s fair for my son to sit around while you play games? You can either be a grandmother or run a small business, but you can’t do both. If you keep gaming, I’ll find someone else to take care of the baby.”
I was floored but stuck to my plan. If he couldn’t be happy for me or accept me as I was, there was nothing I could do. So the weekend came and I was prepared for the event. But I was left speechless when I logged into the game and saw that my entire account had been deleted.
I called my son, and he admitted that he had done it because he feels “family should come first, no matter what.” He doesn’t care that he cost me my sponsorship and basically ruined my YouTube channel. All he cares about is having me as a babysitter.
So Bright Side, what should I do? Should I give up my hobby to save my relationship with my grandson? Or should I try to salvage my channel?
Regards,
Norah G.
Unless your son had your computer professionally "wiped" a computer nerd can restore your programs, because, as everyone online can tell you, with the Cloud, back-ups etc, etc NOTHING is ever really "gone, on the internet. Especially You Tube. THEN, FOR PETE'S SAKE, SET SOME BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR SON BEFORE THIS GOES ANY FURTHER.
How did he delete your account? Tell your son the free babysitting is over. He owes you money for what he did and he better pay it first and from now on pay you for babysitting.
Steps you need to do
1. Contact the game admin and get your files and account reinstated
2, get a game log in code app, that way no-one but you can log in with a unique code each time
3, inform your son if he touches your property again you will contact the police (online or not it's theft)
I appricate you love your grandchild but you don't and shouldn't have to choose if they make that choice for you just because your having a good time then you really shouldn't feel guilty keeping these toxic people on your life.
YOU REALLY SHOULD !! NOT !! TELL THEM TO BEGIN WITH ! MOST PEOPLE HATES SOMEONE WHO WORK WITH PLAYING GAME ! Tell your son if he can't appreciate you, then you can't appreciate him either. Just as he crush your activity, why don't you crush him too at his workplace ? An eye 👁️ for an eye 👁️, a teeth 🦷 for a teeth 🦷
How could he delete your account? I don't know anything about that kind of thing. It's clear that you are NOT a priority for them. However, if you ONLY BEING HIS BABYSITTER means more to him than you as a person does, you can go along and end up miserable and old, way before your time. Grandkids are wonderful but they are NOT YOUR KIDS. Your SON and DIL are entitled, spoiled, ignorant and clueless. When their son does this to them in 25 or 30 years they will realize TOO LATE how asinine they were by doing it to you. You need to stand your ground NOW, or live with the blackmail that they are trying to force onto you. Make your decision carefully because you will have to live with it.
Dear Norah,
Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing your story. We understand how difficult this situation must be, especially since it feels like your son is forcing you to choose between your grandchild and your hobby.
Don’t give up the part of your life that makes you who you are just to keep someone else comfortable. What your son and DIL are really showing you isn’t about gaming, it’s about control. They’ve come to see your time as an extension of their convenience, and your new hobby disrupts that.
The healthiest thing you can do right now is draw a clear, kind boundary. Tell your son that your love for your grandson hasn’t changed, but you’re no longer available to be “on call.” You deserve the same respect for your time that any working adult gets.
Let your actions speak. Continue gaming, keep your business growing, and invite your grandson into that world when possible.
One day, he’ll see that his grandmother wasn’t choosing between family and passion. She was showing him that self-respect and independence are worth protecting, no matter your age.
Norah’s situation isn’t an easy one at all. But with a little acceptance and initiative from her son’s side, she could find a way that’s beneficial for everyone.
But she isn’t the only one who has issues when it comes to a grandchild. Another one of our readers shared their story. Read it here: My Daughter Refused to Let Me Hold My Grandchild — Her Reason Broke Me.
