My MIL Wants to Move Into Our Backyard, but That’s Not the Worst of It

A woman is asking for advice online after being left stunned by the actions of both her mother-in-law and her husband. Having endured her MIL’s consistently shocking behavior since their first encounter, and her husband’s acceptance of it, she grapples with the decision of whether to help her MIL during a tough period in her life.

She shared her story.

«My MIL is quite a piece of work, overall a very difficult person to get along with. My partner and I, fortunately, get to see her only a couple times a year. When I first met my partner, he warned me about her, explaining that she’s actually a kind-hearted person if I get to know her, but she can come across a bit rude. She’s also not very self-aware of her behavior, and he thought it’s best we tune her out.

When we met for the first time, my mother-in-law started going on a rant about how lucky I am to ’have’ her son. She then went on about how women nowadays wear revealing clothes on dates with her son, and when my partner showed my pictures to her, she ’apparently’ gave him her approval to date me (she didn’t, we had been dating for 3 months before he broke the news to her).

Then she found out about me working as a consultant from the bank. She immediately started a rant about how bankers and the banking system overall are awful. The rant went on for HOURS, with her complaining about overdraft fees, deposit holds, etc, eventually giving me a massive headache that I had to ask my husband to drive me back to the hotel to rest. I was SICK of her, within 3 hours of meeting her.

I asked my husband what her problem is with the bank, and he told me she was financially irresponsible and ran into trouble with the IRS and of course, didn’t want to open a bank account. She also got scammed a few years ago by a boyfriend of hers, with him taking all of her money. My partner once had to run around to multiple Western Union’s because she asked to borrow $100 and had no bank account.»

"Obviously, the woman has been through a lot, I get that. But every time we see her, my partner and I are immediately repulsed by her behavior. On top of the demeaning joke about me not being good enough for her son, she curses like a sailor, spits in public, and litters wherever she goes. She has absolutely ZERO manners.

She even told me once that I would never survive in ’the real world’, because I appeared too ’delicate and weak’. Every time she sees me putting on makeup, even just reapplying my lipstick, she would make some snarky comments such as ’I don’t see a reason why girls nowadays put all that makeup on, you look like clowns.’ I let it go every single time and was nothing but nice and friendly to her.

At our wedding, she told the crowd a long story about how back when she was struggling and homeless a few years ago, my partner helped her build her life back up and sacrificed his full-time job to work for her business. She then started a rant about how perfect and amazing her son is, and that everyone at this wedding, including my family, her in-laws, are WELCOMED to pay her for bringing HIM into this world.

She even pointed to my face, while I was sitting next to my husband, yelling ’You are SO LUCKY, you know that, YOU GOT MY SON!’ My husband then interrupted her speech by walking on the stage to ask everyone to cheer. Everyone in my audience gave her a pity laugh. My husband and my father-in-law had to apologize to my parents for her behavior.

Fast-forward a few months later, present day, MIL got into a horrible situation again. She lost her job and had to move out of her apartment. She also had her contractor license taken away. This resulted in her calling my husband crying to him every night.

While she was staying at a friend’s, she suggested that my husband gave her a loan to buy a trailer to temporarily stay in our backyard. She also asked if he could help her hire a consultant to get her financial situation under control, and she would leave as soon as she finds a new job. I said absolutely not. Not only that, I cannot stand MIL, I am not comfortable having her stay in our backyard in a property that my family owns."

«My husband doesn’t want her to be homeless, as her friend’s family refused to let her stay longer than a month. He has always been the middle man through our whole relationship between me and MIL. He agreed that we would see her less. However, he failed to have a serious talk with her about her nasty behavior toward me and never set boundaries. She once cried to him about how I have been treating her, and he even agreed that after the wedding, I made no attempt to have a relationship with her anymore.

I told my parents about MIL’s request, and they also refused to let her stay. I suggested my husband tell MIL to find other ways, and that my parents are not comfortable with the situation either. My husband cried and told me he didn’t want MIL to end up in a homeless shelter. I reluctantly agreed to let her stay with us in the guest bedroom for two weeks, and that she needs to find a way to move out.

I’m still very angry at my MIL and my husband for putting me in this situation. It’s almost like he can never say NO to this woman. I don’t know what to do. I’m very frustrated, and I don’t think I can even look at her without getting annoyed after this situation.

I even thought about going back to my parents’ house, just 5 minutes nearby, and staying there all day to avoid my MIL, in my own house. I cannot stand her. I work from home and my husband doesn’t. That means he has 8 hours away from her, while I may potentially be stuck at home with MIL.

What should I do?»

Those who read her story online didn’t hold back from giving advice and sharing their own opinion on the matter.

• If at all possible, set up shop at your parents’ house. At a minimum, spend your working hours there and do not return home until at least 30 minutes after your husband. But I recommend not returning at all until she is gone to drive the point home to your husband that you will not coexist in the same space as her. © harbinger06 / Reddit

• Your significant other isn’t just tolerating his mother’s behavior, he’s enabling it. If he’s so adamant that his mother stay in your home for two weeks, then HE takes the time off of work and stays with her. You work from the home. You’re not there to babysit or entertain her, and you know your partner will guilt you into doing both.
  Also, another question for you to think about. He talked you into letting her stay in your home for two weeks. How long after she gets there do you think he’ll wait to tell you that he doesn’t think she should leave? © SuperUnexpectedMommy / Reddit

• Change the Wi-Fi password and unplug the cable box. She doesn’t need to be home anyways during the day as she’ll be actively looking for a job.
  If this is inevitable, and she’s coming for 2 weeks, I’d let your husband know that she is to be out all day and can come back after a hard day’s work of job hunting each day. Her return should coincide with his return from work. She is not to be in the house when he is out of the house. She is his guest and as such he must host her, or she must be out until he gets back.
  If after 2 weeks she is not gone, pack a bag and cancel any services that are in your name and head to your parents’ house. © Cerealk****4321 / Reddit

• She will not leave. She will do everything she possibly can to wreck your marriage. With you gone her son is her easily controlled meal ticket.
  Put your foot down now and risk ending your marriage on your own terms or take the long, expensive, and painful road to the same result. © andrewse / Reddit

Everyone has family issues, even those related to famous people. We found some stories where people reveal what’s like to have a celebrity in the family, and oh boy, it’s not all sunshine and roses. Click here to read them.