“I’m Jane, a 28-year-old soon-to-be bride from Portland, Oregon, and I’ve been daydreaming about my honeymoon with my soon-to-be-husband, Mark. We’ve been dating for three wonderful years, and we were ready to start our journey as a married couple. But it turns out my MIL has other plans,” Jane shared with us.
My boyfriend and I decided to spend all our savings on our honeymoon.
As the wedding day approached, I was knee-deep in wedding plans and Pinterest boards, envisioning the romance of the Eiffel Tower and the cobblestone streets of Paris. Mark and I were flipping through a honeymoon brochure when he dropped a bombshell that made my excitement waver.
It was a regular evening on the couch when Mark hesitated and said, “You know, my mom wants to come with us.” I nearly choked on the excitement that had filled the room just moments before. “Your mom? To our honeymoon? Seriously?” I asked, hoping he was kidding.
But he wasn’t.
Mark explained that his mom, Carol, had been feeling lonely since his dad’s passing, and she thought our honeymoon could be a chance for some family bonding. I tried to understand, but the idea of sharing such an intimate trip with my mother-in-law left me feeling uneasy.
After a lengthy discussion, Mark persuaded me that having Carol along wouldn’t be so bad and might even be a positive experience. Reluctantly, I agreed, hoping that our romantic moments wouldn’t be overshadowed by the presence of a third wheel.
But I was right at first, she shouldn’t have come with us.
Our honeymoon in Paris arrived, and from the get-go, I realized that my concerns were well-founded. Carol, in her early 60s, was enthusiastic but tended to hover, turning our intimate dinners into family gatherings and our private moments into shared experiences.
As we strolled along the Seine and visited iconic landmarks, I found myself yearning for the romantic solitude I had envisioned. The constant presence of my mother-in-law created a tension that I couldn’t shake off. While I appreciated her company, I couldn’t help but feel that our honeymoon had been hijacked.
Now, back in Portland, I’m left grappling with mixed emotions. I appreciate Mark’s desire to support his mom, but I can’t ignore the fact that our honeymoon wasn’t what I had hoped for. As I reflect on our experiences, a lingering question haunts me: How can I communicate my feelings to Mark and navigate the delicate balance between family obligations and our newlywed intimacy?
Response from Bright Side
Hi Jane! Thank you for reaching out to us here at Bright Side! We appreciate you sharing your unique situation. Here’s some advice that might help you navigate through these circumstances:
- Host a “Honeymoon Reimagined” Night: Create a special evening at home to recreate some of the romantic moments you missed in Paris. Cook a French-inspired meal together, play a curated playlist of your favorite romantic songs, and transform your living space into a cozy haven. This allows you to capture the essence of your dream honeymoon while maintaining a sense of intimacy.
- The Surprise Solo Adventure: Plan a surprise weekend getaway just for the two of you. Choose a nearby destination that exudes romance, and keep the details under wraps until the last moment. This unexpected adventure not only rekindles the excitement of a honeymoon but also provides a chance to share intimate moments away from the watchful eyes of family.
- Memory Box Exchange: Each of you creates a memory box filled with mementos, notes, and tokens from your time in Paris. Exchange the boxes and take turns exploring the contents. This unique exercise allows you to share your individual perspectives of the trip, fostering a deeper connection and understanding of each other’s experiences.
- Themed Date Nights: Bring a touch of Paris into your everyday life by planning themed date nights. Choose different aspects of the city—such as a movie night featuring French films, a cooking class to master French cuisine, or an art night inspired by famous Parisian artists. These creative dates will help you build new memories together while honoring the romantic spirit of your dream honeymoon.
- The “Paris Pact” Conversation: Initiate an open and honest conversation with Mark about your feelings regarding the honeymoon. Establish a “Paris Pact” where you both commit to creating special, private moments regularly. Discuss boundaries, expectations, and ways to balance family obligations with your need for intimate time. This pact becomes a symbol of your shared commitment to maintaining the spark in your relationship amidst external influences.
