I Was the Forgotten Child—Was My Revenge Justified?

I get feeling hurt but you did make your sisters wedding about you. YTA

I understand your pain. I am the forgotten, super responsible middle child. I have accomplished everything on my own and for that I am grateful. It made me more resilient. Your timing was bad. Yes, let your family know but sister's wedding was not the appropriate venue. BTW when I spoke to my parents over the phone decades ago when they were still alive (we lived 3 1/2 hours apart) I asked them if they wondered why I didn't come to visit more often (I was the only one doing the traveling even though they were able bodied). They said they knew I was busy. I responded, that's true, but it bothers me when I drive all that way you ignore me. My dad never even looked up from his newspaper to say hello much less have a conversation. My mom's response: if it bothers you so much maybe you should see someone about it". I never went back. Some situations will never be fixed.

I understand the need to finally throw it all out there bare and to an audience but it really was not your sister's fault she was out on that pedestal so her wedding wasn't the place to go all in. Family thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner. Better yet mother's day family get together.

I'm surprized you held it in until "perfects" wedding.

Congratulations! Was the timing off , depends on what side you are on
. I think it was the best timing for making sure your extended family knew the BS.

I applaud you. You chose the perfect time. Your parents and sister knew they were wrong. Now the whole family knows. Had you done it anytime other than then, it would have been dismissed by all accounts. The next move should be no contact on your part and get on with your life.

Why wait till a wedding? It went on for 25 years and then you finally grow a spine at the wrong time? Honestly I think these stories are a high school English class writing fiction for a class assignment

I love this. You owe no apology. This is EXACTLY how is was for me as well. Thank you for sharing.

Well played, you owe NO..NO apologies. Your parents and sister are the ones who need to apologize. No contact with them at all . It's best if you go that way

I get it but moves like that kind of create martyrs which is the last thing you want in war. But you got your point out and feel good about it soi say kudos. I was far and it was mean but so is the truth in this case. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, so your only choices were don't go or go big. I approve but only marginally. I had an abusive family so I get it.

Wrong place, wrong time. But it is high time to let it out. I am you. So I get it. Your second place status in the family has made you very strong. That can’t be taken away. You have something your sister doesn’t. Parents pick favorites. My sister finally saw that and acknowledged it.

While I applaud you finally standing up for yourself, your sister's wedding was not the place to do it. While I'm sure it was therapeutic, it should have been done in a more private setting, like your parents home or in a private session with a therapist. It is really never a good idea to air lifelong grievances at would should have been a happy occasion.

You rock

Dear, your family, your emotional pain. They deserve to be reminded of pain and suffering. Now your spirit has been broken again. Let's see who gets house. I'd let them piss off. Go be happy. Lots people in the world. Tell them your replacing them with a nice dog.

Maybe your sister didn’t deserve to be thrown to the wolves but you should stand up for yourself! I personally would apologize to my sister & move on, while cutting my parents out of my life.

It's not your sisters fault you kept these feelings in for your entire life and how your parents treated you was also not her fault ... you never expressed yourself to anyone and let it build and grow and allowed yourself to get bitter. Your anger should've been aimed at your parents. You are petty and quite rude to have unleashed all of that on her wedding day out of all times. she has every right to be upset at you. You have every right to be upset at your parents. But I feel like your afraid to address your parents head on so you used your sister as a punching bag instead. Also, get some therapy cause this will have repercussions and I feel like you may look back and regret how you handled this.

My life was very similar but I was the older child and my sister was the younger. She got everything from mom. Help with college, a car and getting out of jail for shop lifting. I never went to college. I had to work for everything I got. My mother said she was the responsible one. So good for you for what you did. If you had done it any other way your parents wouldn't have responded accept the way they always did

You were right to stand up for yourself, but how you did it was not appropriate in my opinion. You could have written a letter saying everything you experienced and felt, and sent it to your parents and siblings, and let the chips fall where they may. In my opinion you owe your sister and parents an apology for saying what you did at the wedding; but do not back down from how you feel about a child hood of only being second best. Your parents owe you an apology for how they treated you! If you apologize and they won’t, distance yourself from the pain!

These things needed to be said, and it's not wrong that it was said publicly. However, your actions did ruin your sister's wedding celebration and it sounds like SHE never did anything to you but accept being treated well. So, also yourself- did she deserve to have her wedding ruined? Your timing could have been better, but I'm glad you feel better having that off your chest. Now go try to live your best life in spite of your past. And if you answered no to my question, I hope you find a way to make this up to your sister, although I doubt that's possible.

Don't apologize. You saw an opportunity and you took it. Serves your sister and parents right for how you were treated. A bigger sweet revenge is to live your life happily and never look back.